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Trouble with addressing others by their name

MMPATT01

MMPATT01

Active Member
V.I.P Member
Strange question I suppose.....but does anyone else ever have trouble addressing other people by their formal names? I can do it; however, it does not feel natural. Many times I lead my conversations with "Hey".

An example would be if I am with Freida and Harry. I would be able to say to Harry, "Freida will be out of the toilet in a minute" without hesitation, but I would struggle to say, "Harry, would you pass me that taser?" Thoughts??
 
I have a hard time remembering peoples names. It takes me a week to remember it. I have to constantly ask people what their name is because my short term memory can’t hold onto that information. I have a great long term memory, so I don’t understand why I have problems with names.
 
Yeah, I don't use names unless I have to. But I also make up weird names for people, too. It's supposed to be endearing but I don't really know if it's appreciated all the time or not.
 
DaisyRose said:
I have a hard time remembering peoples names. It takes me a week to remember it. I have to constantly ask people what their name is because my short term memory can’t hold onto that information. I have a great long term memory, so I don’t understand why I have problems with names.
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Yes, I experience this as well. My short term memory leaves much to be desired.
 
Actually, yes, I do have this same issue. When I was a kid, it used to make me seize up if I had to use someone's name. I developed workarounds so I hardly ever had to refer to someone directly by name. Even now I find it very awkward, and I'm 51! Just yesterday I started a sentence and then I realised the way I'd formulated it meant I had to refer to someone by name. There was this awkward pause as I desperately tried to think of an alternative way to finish the sentence. What the heck is all that about?!

Also, why are you tasering people as they leave the toilet? :D
 
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I get so confused. My natural inclination, based on family culture in the 1980s is to address adults in professional positions as Mr. or Mrs. suchandsuch. But the world isn't like that anymore, and people look at me weird, especially in the Pacific Northwest. I'd love to call people Mr. Mrs. Ms. or whatever their title is. I feel so weird calling an adult who I am consulting in a professional position, by their first name. I feel disrespectful. It's still done in the South where my cousins live though.
 
I also have trouble remembering most people's names. However. Sometimes after years and years I still remember them.
The example the OP gives sounds very familiar. I almost never use someones name. In fact. It always feels weird to me when someone uses my name without any logical reason. For example. When at work and I walk past someone I haven`t seen on that day yet I say good morning. But they will replay with. "Good morning #name". I never really understand why they need to say my name. I know they know my name, and I know they are talking to me because we are the only ones there. Still haven`t found anyone who could clearly explain why it is done.
I usually just start talking.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
I get so confused. My natural inclination, based on family culture in the 1980s is to address adults in professional positions as Mr. or Mrs. suchandsuch. But the world isn't like that anymore, and people look at me weird, especially in the Pacific Northwest. I'd love to call people Mr. Mrs. Ms. or whatever their title is. I feel so weird calling an adult who I am consulting in a professional position, by their first name. I feel disrespectful.
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Round here it's seen as respectful to ask people how they'd like to be addressed. But it wasn't always like that. The default definitely used to be Mr or Mrs suchandsuch.
 
Of course more recently guessing that someone is Mr or Mrs has become fraught with problems. Dare I open the can of worms that is "My pronouns are..." Perhaps that's straying too far off the original topic.

By the way... I didn't get the impression that the OP was talking about finding it difficult to remember names, but rather finding it difficult using them.
 
I am hyper focused on peoples‘ names.

I have noticed that it is difficult for me to remember people’s names in the past, so over the years, I took a different approach. I focus every brain cell on remembering people‘s names and use their names as much as possible so that I can continue to remember them. I find this is a way for me to maintain social connection with people.

In my job, for example, sometimes saying someone’s name is enough of a social interaction. I don’t need to spend time chitchatting, I just say “hello (name),” and that is all that is required of me. It shows I care, but I don’t need to say anything further and almost everyone I know is touched when you know their name.

To me, it’s a fun game to try to remember.
 
tazz said:
Actually, yes, I do have this same issue. When I was a kid, it used to make me seize up if I had to use someone's name. I developed workarounds so I hardly ever had to refer to someone directly by name. Even now I find it very awkward, and I'm 51! Just yesterday I started a sentence and then I realised the way I'd formulated it meant I had to refer to someone by name. There was this awkward pause as I desperately tried to think of an alternative way to finish the sentence. What the heck is all that about?!

Also, why are you tasering people as they leave the toilet? :D
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You obiviously do not know Freida as well as I do. I have no problem typing that, but I could not reply to her if she was on this forum by typing the words, "Freida, I know you all too well."
 
Interesting. I don't think I'd have a problem typing a name either. The problem is saying it out loud directly to the person. Or perhaps also using someone's name with a third party, when the person can hear me. Like I'd have trouble saying "That's similar to what xxxxx said earlier" when xxxxx is also sat at the table and can hear me.
 
I have some anxiety around my crappy memory for names. Most of us remember things as photographs instead of bits of information. I often tell people “Im going to forget your name. Don’t be offended. I just suck at names” I even have trouble finding a name for someone I see every day.

I just call people ’Dude’, or I just go straight into a conversation without using their name. It works.

Also creeps me out when someone uses my first name. I don’t know why.
 
AspieChris said:
I have some anxiety around my crappy memory for names. Most of us remember things as photographs instead of bits of information. I often tell people “Im going to forget your name. Don’t be offended. I just suck at names” I even have trouble finding a name for someone I see every day.

I just call people ’Dude’, or I just go straight into a conversation without using their name. It works.

Also creeps me out when someone uses my first name. I don’t know why.
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Yes, I do not like for others to use my first name when speaking with me. It is uncomfortable for some reason.
 
MMPATT01 said:
Strange question I suppose.....but does anyone else ever have trouble addressing other people by their formal names? I can do it; however, it does not feel natural. Many times I lead my conversations with "Hey".

An example would be if I am with Freida and Harry. I would be able to say to Harry, "Freida will be out of the toilet in a minute" without hesitation, but I would struggle to say, "Harry, would you pass me that taser?" Thoughts??
Click to expand...

totally. I’m not good with names

I still call my buddy bro

unless it’s someone I really trust, I wouldn’t call them by name
 
MMPATT01 said:
Strange question I suppose.....but does anyone else ever have trouble addressing other people by their formal names? I can do it; however, it does not feel natural. Many times I lead my conversations with "Hey".

An example would be if I am with Freida and Harry. I would be able to say to Harry, "Freida will be out of the toilet in a minute" without hesitation, but I would struggle to say, "Harry, would you pass me that taser?" Thoughts??
Click to expand...
Yes, I have this with most people. I notice everyone uses each other's names when socially interacting so I know it wouldn't be weird if I did, but even so, it still feels weird for some reason. I feel bossy or nagging when using people's names, even though I know and they know it wouldn't be.
 
I only refer to people by their names if I'm talking about them to someone else.

I 99% of the time never call people by their name to their face (or if they're in the conversation, if I'm engaged in an online chat).

I dunno, it just seems too personal to do that.
 
I used to have that problem. I would usually stand there and wait for the person to look at me and then say what I wanted to say. It was suggested to me that I address people by name, so I started doing that. There was also a period when people would say to me, “Hi [my name],” and I’d just say, “Hi.” Now I usually respond by saying hi along with their names.

One thing I’m told is good is to use people’s names regularly when talking. That still needs work.
 
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