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trust

You made myself ask myself if others can trust me? Is trust and expectation near the same thing? I can be trusted to not deceive, not share secrets shared with me, be a friend through thick and thin, not harm, not tattle, not backstab and never talk bad about. A real close friend or family member can trust me to always be there to help them fight their way through things. So I can be trusted in those regards - not to harm another fellow human being. But I'm probably not going to meet expectations for most people and can't be counted on to be at all your parties, weddings, etc. I can't be counted on to do anything at any time. You may not be able to count on me to say the right things. But don't they kind of go hand in hand?

As far as trusting others, the only time I've done that with other, I found I was wrong. I see myself as an optimist and like to think the best of people, but to really trust someone, I don't think I can or do. I've learned to take care of my own needs - physically, emotionally, holistically because I know I can't trust others. But I remember years ago I was in a situation that I had no choice but to put complete trust in God - and I mean COMPLETELY. It was hard and I realized then that I had never trusted before that time. It was way better than what I could have done myself. That trust feels really good.
 
Trust is hard to earn and even easier lost. The only person I ever trusted fully was my mother.
I have levels of trust with my wife at the very top of that list. Everyone else IRL has broken their word or blew me off (Get your minds out of the gutter) at some point in our relationship.
Next are people who I put certain levels of trust in like coworkers but that doesn't mean I trust them.
As for people trusting me, I have always been one to keep my word or at least give heads up if circumstances prevent me from doing so. Whether others trust me is beyond my control (I do good to control myself at times) so it is pointless and self detrimental to worry about it.
In my case I think it helps that I have a very high level of self confidence, an "I can do anything I put my mind too" attitude and do my best to prevent my disabilities from holding me down.
 
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Open up to people who seem open minded, empathetic, seem to want to connect with you, and seem like people you want to connect with. Trust is a big word that can mean a lot of things. Commitment is something that is built over time. You have to know if you want to make commitments to someone else as much as they have to know that for you - you know?
 
But being on the spectrum means that we tolerate less connections. We need less connections. Trust and commitment are issues for people trying on relationships. Opening up to people is not a requirement for life. Self-preservation is a requirement for life -that over-rules everything.

People have different ideas what friendship is. I don't need your friendship, when it means backstabbing, lie 24/7 and anything else that you consist off. Get real, too many of us have been trapped with people who have hidden agendas. Familiarity is just their stepping stone to seduce you with lies.
 
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In academic literature, there are quite a number of definitions, but first of all please understand that Trust is not a feeling, it is a decision mix and there are types of Trust; mainly Transactional and Relational.

Here is my favorite Trust formula:
f( Risk, Control) = f( Competency, Integrity, Benevolance). Competency and Integrity can be quantified, so the blindspot lies within "benevolance".
Benevolance is "in group" goodwill. That's why the million dollar question is "who to trust".
The answer is on the other side of the equation; Trust is also a Risk/ Control balance. Without control, there is no Trust, so build up a control/ check mechanism.
Do not just focus on character/identity of people, have a 360 vision of them.
 
cnn said:
In academic literature, there are quite a number of definitions, but first of all please understand that Trust is not a feeling, it is a decision mix and there are types of Trust; mainly Transactional and Relational.

Here is my favorite Trust formula:
f( Risk, Control) = f( Competency, Integrity, Benevolance). Competency and Integrity can be quantified, so the blindspot lies within "benevolance".
Benevolance is "in group" goodwill. That's why the million dollar question is "who to trust".
The answer is on the other side of the equation; Trust is also a Risk/ Control balance. Without control, there is no Trust, so build up a control/ check mechanism.
Do not just focus on character/identity of people, have a 360 vision of them.
Click to expand...

This sounds a tab sterile to me. Control does not have to always be a issue in regards to trust. I can see trust in a person without having to have control them. If you control all the possible outcomes then trust doesn't enter in to the equation.
 
These are not from my ideas, but research papers.
You are right, 100% control means, 0% risk, so Trust goes down the drain, but 100% Trust is also dillusional. Moreover what about trust fatigue, how long can you trust?

Aspychata said:
If you control all the possible outcomes then trust doesn't enter in to the equation.
Click to expand...
 
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