Trying to Retire

[Shevek]

So, the problem is that your clients are also your social life, and you don't know how to relate to people without helping. Helping is getting shut down by age, and access to your friends is costing far more busywork now. And, you are in a system that officially keeps you professional and detached, but which does not work well at all unless the people working are doing it because they want to help any way they can and will bend the rules to do it. It is a messy situation all around. The only general advice that comes to mind is "If you want an omlette, you have to break eggs."

Do you have a collection of Christmas cards and other tokens from your clients to enjoy? My counselor was not allowed to accept gifts over $2.00 or so, but I got around that by making presents. We had made tentative plans for her to observe me trying to make friends at a meeting, but never actually met away from the office. I still have her private phone number for emergencies, and she tells me that no client has ever abused that information. I never used it, but it was a great comfort to have available. Maybe that actually works best if it is officially forbidden.

Maybe you can extend your relationships as a pure, unregulated volunteer, to just cover the gaps in the new client services.

I once gave my boss a book for Christmas on "How to Retire." He laughed, but did retire soon after. Are there retirement counselors? My dad got back to physical work he had enjoyed as a younger man, and got a heart attack. Some couples have a lot of trouble over spending more time together. A new skill set is needed, just when we get set in our ways.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Shevek, you have quite the skill in putting the problem into words. So, reading that and thinking on this, I think that it is not so much the socializing that is important to me, but ----this is hard to admit ----I rely on my work for my self-esteen. When working, I never have to go to bed thinking I have not done something good for someone. So, more than the social, I will lose my raison d'etre, so to speak.

This may be less of a problem than I think it is, because I get a lot out fo fostering the growth and flourishing of my plants. But there's no question that it helps me to have the praise of clients and others in relation to my work, even as I realize I don't really do that much. Some of the most grateful families are ones I really don't do all that much for. I guess having an advocate on your side is a big deal for some people floundering in the system.

A few of the state rules and the grant I got will keep me involved with the agency for a couple years at least, but I want to do it with a minimum amount of work. There are a few families I will keep as long as possible. They are wonderful people and without education and not speaking much, if any, English, I am valuable to them just in terms of having someone interpret the weird bizantine rules of this program.

There is one family in particular I think we will remain friends. There are two disabled now adult children in the family. The mother got breast cancer many years back now and I walked her through the entire process, every appointment, the surgery, chemo, radiation. That bonds a couple of women, even though she has minimal English and I have only passable Spanish. We manage to communicate though. She will make me hand made tortillas or trimmed and cut up nopales.

So, thanks again. I do appreciate the input. It shakes up the grooves my brain tends to run in.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

-I rely on my work for my self-esteen. When working, I never have to go to bed thinking I have not done something good for someone. So, more than the social, I will lose my raison d'etre, so to speak.

I understand the impulse to seek external validation. I used to do that but for my sanity has to reign in that part of my ego (Never being desired by any girl/woman). You will be challenged to be self actualizing in retirement, and that will take work. It took me a lot of emotional work to like myself and understand how to enjoy my interests. Now I see myself as a valuable member of the community.

 

[Tom]

Hope you can find a satisfactory solution that allows you to make the change you need, but doesn't leave the clients who have depended on you in the lurch. That may just be seeing it through to a hand off to another living person, at which point you just have to hope that they are managed fairly and know you did what you could within reason for all people involved.

 

[Tom]

I should add I had cancer doctors that helped saved my life who left before I could say goodbye and although I had thanked them would have liked to tell them more and wish them well. But I understood. I was also not in situation of being left in the lurch. Just having to adjust and say hi to doctor # 13. Reminds me of doctor who now that i think about it.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

So, one of my employees quit today. With the loss of her clients (we can't take them on due to state rules), the business will lose about $1000/month. Since I am the owner and just get what's left over after payroll and expenses....this is essentially a $1000/month cut in my pay which was getting pretty low anyway.

We are trying to come up with something. It is extremely difficult to find new employees because, again, state rules. Plus it is very expensive to train new employees. We can try to take on some of them, the number is again limited by state rules, but in my case I have "room" to take many on, but that is going in the opposite direction. More work for me, not less work.

I really feel like just giving up. Which wouldn't be good for anyone, really.

Also, a long time client passed away yesterday, unexpectedly

:-(

 

[Rodafina]

I really feel like just giving up. Which wouldn't be good for anyone, really

Does “giving up” mean moving forward with retirement?

 

[Storm Hess]

Can you delegate the 'bureaucratic BS' to someone else? Or maybe offload a bit of it to someone else?

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

Does “giving up” mean moving forward with retirement?

It might. Or, working harder again.

Can you delegate the 'bureaucratic BS' to someone else? Or maybe offload a bit of it to someone else?

I’ve been working on training up my replacement and giving her more stuff to do. Billing and payroll are out-sourced. The other BS, which could be done by, for example, an office assistant, can’t be done by an OA because, you guessed it, state rules.

Did I mention I have also misplaced $10,000?

 

[Rodafina]

So much stress and the loss of a client, too. This sounds very difficult.

I have a naive approach here, but I wish you could just wrap this up, imperfectly as that may play out, retire, and leave these snowballing stressors behind you. If only your time and energy could be spent on the water, on an adventure, hearing only the tweeting of river swallows as they dart in and out of their nests.

 

[GypsyMoth]

I really feel like just giving up. Which wouldn't be good for anyone, really.

I'm sorry to hear that you feel that way. It sounds like this has been a difficult season for you.

I haven't yet read all 30 posts in this thread so I hope you will forgive me if I am a little in the dark on some of the details. For one, I don't know what industry you're in. So I risk revealing my ignorance. Even so, perhaps there will be something here that may spark an idea?

First, it sounds like you are burnt out. Recharging your batteries might be the best first course of action. Are you able to take a short break? Of course, the timing of when might be complicated, especially that you're short-staffed. But if it's at all possible to focus on the long-term benefits of being able to approach this multi-level problem from a fresh perspective, it just might get you out of this rut faster.

It sounds like you are needing to vision cast to create a new strategic plan. Whether that plan will be an exit strategy or finding a way to recoup the lost profit, it might help to set aside some dedicated time to prioritize and plan for that future. Again, a fresh mindset will help.

Are you aware of SCORE? I used to refer them to a lot of our local business owners when I worked the business license desk of a city I worked for years ago. (My background is accouting.) While I think most people equate them with start-ups, it might be worth seeing if they have any information that might help you either in gaining a new perspective on your lost profit problem, or they may offer further things to consider should you chose to retire. Even though you've been in business a long time, I thought passing along their link might be helpful as I used to run into a lot of business owners who had not heard of them or their free resources to small businesses.

https://www.score.org/

So, one of my employees quit today. With the loss of her clients (we can't take them on due to state rules), the business will lose about $1000/month. Since I am the owner and just get what's left over after payroll and expenses....this is essentially a $1000/month cut in my pay which was getting pretty low anyway.

We are trying to come up with something. It is extremely difficult to find new employees because, again, state rules. Plus it is very expensive to train new employees. We can try to take on some of them, the number is again limited by state rules, but in my case I have "room" to take many on, but that is going in the opposite direction. More work for me, not less work.

Second, have you considered restructuring? Of course there are your industry's standards to uphold and state requirements. What I'm picking up on is the "more work for me" part. I don't even know if this would be possible for you, so if it's not, please just chalk this up to the 'nice idea--next!' bin.

What if you brought in someone who would only handle administrative tasks? This person would not require licensure or certification because they would have no decision-making ability. They would not interact with clients in a decisive manner. They would, however, and under supervision, handle some of your more rudimentary day-to-day workload so that you could A.) take on more clients or B.) have the freedom to train the level of staff you need to bring on more clients.

The great thing about this idea is that you don't have to hire an employee. Look for either a contract worker (1099-able) or go through a temp agency. There will be no fully burdened rate to plan for, no healthcare or retirement benefits to pay out--just an invoice once every week or two at the hourly rate agreed upon through the staffing agency. Just some short-term help to help you get through this rough spot. They're cheaper than employees, they come vetted by the staffing agency with the skillset you specify, and they stay only as long as you have need of them. (Gosh, reading this back to myself I'm thinking, gee, I sound cold! But no, not at all. I've worked a number of short-term assignments myself and have always benefitted from the new experience.) Plus, as you're only handing over your more rudimentary tasks, it's not like you're training a new employee. You're just bringing in a pinch hitter with experience.

I really feel like just giving up. Which wouldn't be good for anyone, really.

No, I don't see you as giving up. There has been nothing in anything you have written (that I have read) that says you take the passive approach to anything. You're just overwhelmed.

Here's another idea.

Let's say you do decide to retire, but maybe you aren't quite sure if now is the right time. Have you considered restructuring your ownership dynamics? What if you sold an interest in your business to someone, under contract, who would eventually assume full ownership control. But in the meantime, you would stay on as the full owner, then later as an advisor, then maybe even later, as an employee? It could be a way of stepping out from the responsibility while remaining productive and planning for your future retirement. Your lawyer on retainer could help setup the sales contract. I'm sure there's a specific term for this arrangement, I just don't recall what it is.

Also, a long time client passed away yesterday, unexpectedly

:-(

I love how close you are to your clients! There is this absurd idea in the corporate world that a business should operate in a rather Nietzschean manner in determining its own course of action--outsmart the competitor! Make more money! But business, the word itself, embodies a very human activity--the act of being busy. What's busy? We are. People are. It's a community word. To be in business is to be intimately involved in one's community, whether it's a professional community or a neighborhood community or an online community. It's very natural to mourn the loss of someone in your business's community. If it weren't for the fact that you value your clients, you wouldn't have any business to be in business with. You seem to be a very compassionate person and have managed your business well. I am sorry for your loss.

 

[Shevek]

My best friend was starting a long-planned move back west, after many delays and some nagging doubts. He got as far as my place, and lost his wallet, with over $2k for the trip. He decided that so many things were going wrong, he should stay around here instead. He then found his wallet. We It

 

[Shevek]

We decided that it was Nature's way of telling him he was pushing too hard.
Retirement is a new adventure, that often involves learning to economize in some areas, while finding new ways to fill the day.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I want to thank all of you for your thoughts, kindnesses and suggestions.

It has been pretty chaotic trying to cover all the duties and clients of the employee that quit. And of course, also discovering all the things she hasn't done and have left us to deal with.

When one is up to one's a** in alligators, it is difficult to remember the goal was to clean up the swamp. Meaning, it is difficult to plan or think ahead when so much is coming at one at light speed.

 

[Aspychata]

Wow, you have some serious alligator poop to clean up. At the end of the day, does this say to you go on, or to get out of the never ending pit? It's tough when it's your own business. Maybe just make a tentative date to leave?

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

At this point, maybe it will change tomorrow or next week, I feel defeated. I had a plan in place for years and that was put asunder by the state dramatically changing the rules. This was implemented July 1, 2021.

The new rules required restructuring of the business and thousands more in operating expenses and about a 30% reduction in pay. We met as a team and decided to try it for one year. Although now, in retrospect, that seems foolish. I guess we all just wanted to keep doing the work we loved.

Since then, I have implemented two plans to retire. Circumstances have interfered with those plans also. The state has had a goal of ridding itself of small agencies like mine and many more have already gone under.

At this point, and this is hard to write in black and white, my business cannot survive in this climate. I am not able to retire and leave behind a flourishing operation of benefit to clients and employees. I need to accept that.

 

[Hypnalis]

@WhitewaterWoman

You seem to have taken on some unnecessary and inappropriate responsibilities.

You don't owe you clients or colleagues permanent support. Naturally if you leave the possibility, people who are satisfied with the status quo will be happy that things continue unchanged, but you are no longer one of these people.

And waiting isn't free - there's a very large opportunity cost. If you're old enough to retire, you have a limited amount of time with enough energy and capability to do physical things.

You won't be able to move forward until you accept those things, and act on it ... or you become to old or too ill to work, and then it will really crash and burn.

Step one is to look at your finances. If there's enough money/assets, step two is to decide how quickly you (personally and independently of anyone else) can disengage.

When those are clear, make an initial plan using the timeframe you chose above. Adjust it if necessary (longer or shorter depending on purely practical considerations).

At step 4 you might look at smoothing the way for other people without sacrificing yourself in the process.

But as the saying goes: "Don't set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm"

 

[Rodafina]

I am not able to retire and leave behind a flourishing operation of benefit to clients and employees. I need to accept that.

Sound so disappointing. I imagine you worked very hard to get your operation on its feet and doing good work in the world.

Perhaps, your legacy will be the ways in which you changed and enriched the lives of clients and employees over time.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

@WhitewaterWoman

You seem to have taken on some unnecessary and inappropriate responsibilities.

You don't owe you clients or colleagues permanent support. Naturally if you leave the possibility, people who are satisfied with the status quo will be happy that things continue unchanged, but you are no longer one of these people.

And waiting isn't free - there's a very large opportunity cost. If you're old enough to retire, you have a limited amount of time with enough energy and capability to do physical things.

You won't be able to move forward until you accept those things, and act on it ... or you become to old or too ill to work, and then it will really crash and burn.

Step one is to look at your finances. If there's enough money/assets, step two is to decide how quickly you (personally and independently of anyone else) can disengage.

When those are clear, make an initial plan using the timeframe you chose above. Adjust it if necessary (longer or shorter depending on purely practical considerations).

At step 4 you might look at smoothing the way for other people without sacrificing yourself in the process.

But as the saying goes: "Don't set yourself on fire to keep somebody else warm"

Harsh, but correct. I did get myself into being too self-important. What a stupid, messy place to be.

I had forgotten that of course I can’t take care of people forever. Duh. And I am killing myself trying to do it all.

And waiting IS COSTING me. Duh again.

I’ve made some deadlines and will start today - actually did start today - telling people no.

Thank you.

Thank you also Rodafina. I do know I’ve made a difference and have put people in the right places to continue their journeys. Thank you for helping me make that the focus now.

Thank you to all who read and put those little thingies in that let me know you were there.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

After much internal trauma, I have put in motion the termination of my business.

I have worked out a plan whereby my employees and their clients can move to a different agency, with minimal disruption for most. It is a bit more complicated than that, but that is the general idea.

I have notified the state agency with personal calls to the ROM and my liaison. Also called the woman who has been my billing agent for a bazillion years. Everyone is stunned. Talking to people about it makes all the feelings of loss and grief over abandoning my clients come up again. Emailed the payroll company. Still lots of people to notify, but that will come.

Inside I am torn up, but mostly handling it pretty well. This email, from the ROM, put me totally into tears:

I am sure this decision was not arrived to easily and, while we surely understand the heavy heart, I also hope it is also with a head held high knowing that you have positively impacted hundreds and hundreds of lives. You are a tremendous advocate that has a done a wealth of good for the families we all serve.

I hope this next chapter brings you much well deserved comfort and joy.