Using people's names. Do you do it?

[Misty Avich]

Out at dinner out today I used a couple of my friends names even only ones or twice during conversation but I still did it.

How did it feel? If you keep it up it might start becoming second nature to you.

 

[The Pandector]

Didn’t know I’m autistic until recently, but have known for decades that I have congenital anomic dysphasia. In my 30’s I had a few dozen people working under me, knew all of their names, could remember very few when needed.

I understood that being able to name them on the spot was a critical skill and I tried every trick to memorize each name, to no avail. I could fall asleep at night connecting names and faces, but when I was in the heat of battle I couldn’t remember any of them. I tried to disguise my failure with ‘lady’, ‘dude’, maybe ‘check this out’ to get their attention, then just having my say. No doubt it was noticed, but no one ever said anything about it. A truly crippling social problem; people notice when the boss doesn’t know their name.

One of my earliest memories is of my mother pulling my high chair over to the kitchen window to see the house next door, her yelling in frustration that I didn’t know who she was talking about when the woman lived right next door. I remember learning on the spot that people live in big structures, but it did nothing to solve my naming issues.

 

[Misty Avich]

I do very easily remember names - and birthdays.
In fact as soon as I know someone's name they begin to "look like" their name, in my eyes.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

How did it feel? If you keep it up it might start becoming second nature to you.

It felt good. It was not that bad. I can get used to it and not overuse it.

 

[kriss72]

I do very easily remember names - and birthdays.
In fact as soon as I know someone's name they begin to "look like" their name, in my eyes.

That must be nice, I could use some of that ability

 

[Misty Avich]

It felt good. It was not that bad. I can get used to it and not overuse it.

I think you'll do fine.

 

[GypsyMoth]

I still address most of the time with just an hi, hello then an bye, goodbye.

'Honey' works a lot like 'sweetie', but I find I am always wary of what comes next. Usually it's a veiled request to do something unexpected.

Problems with recognizing or not recognizing a person's face is a real thing but I forget what it's called.

 

[Levitat0r]

Just about everyone knows my name. Even though who just meet me they greet me Hey Tony or Hi Tony or By Tony or Goodbye Tony. But even if I can remember their name which I can remember the women's names easier I still address most of the time with just an hi, hello then an bye, goodbye. I thought was just me but once again I found it was an autistic trait. My current Christian friends don't mind but maybe this is one of the reasons in the past I had no friends.

It helps to use a person's name a lot in your thoughts so that you will commit it to memory. That's something I try to remind myself of, but I seldom meet people, so when do you ever practice? My mom, in particular, seemed not to believe in proper nouns at all, and she always identified people by their description, which is a very poor way to do it, and I don't want to inherit that tendency whether by habit or otherwise.

 

[Jumpinbare]

It helps to use a person's name a lot in your thoughts so that you will commit it to memory. That's something I try to remind myself of, but I seldom meet people, so when do you ever practice? My mom, in particular, seemed not to believe in proper nouns at all, and she always identified people by their description, which is a very poor way to do it, and I don't want to inherit that tendency whether by habit or otherwise.

Maybe your mom, like me, has anomial aphasia (also called anomia). I am always using descriptions for things and people because I can't remember the actual name. One one occasion, I couldn't remember my own name. That was actually a bit scary

 

[Levitat0r]

Maybe your mom, like me, has anomial aphasia (also called anomia). I am always using descriptions for things and people because I can't remember the actual name. One one occasion, I couldn't remember my own name. That was actually a bit scary

You tend to learn from your parents, and that's among numerous tendencies I've worked to unlearn and improve at.

 

[Mary Terry]

A southern dialect usually found along the east coast of the state of Virginia.

LOL. Nope. I wouldn't likely be allowed to post it. An old and not "politically correct" term these days, and not used in many parts of the US anyway. Though I've also heard it used informally as a type of candy.

Is it "titty baby"? One of numerous handy southern putdowns.

I'm tempted to call some folks Booger, Bubba, Gator, etc. when their redneckedness annoys me.

 

[Judge]

Is it "titty baby"? One of numerous handy southern putdowns.

I'm tempted to call some folks Booger, Bubba, Gator, etc. when their redneckedness annoys me.

Nope....but close enough. It was said only to embarrass the girl into reconsidering using terms of affection towards total strangers two and three times their age. It worked, too. Knowing Northerners aren't accustomed to such terms to begin with.

Funny to think though, if a peer addresses me in such a way I just let it slide. There was a time and place in my past when that was pretty common. Just not now, or here.

 

[AuAL]

I almost never forget a face, but find it very difficult to remember names. I call lots of people “mate”.

(Until recently I would have said I never forget faces, but I recently bumped into someone at an event who remembered me, but I came up short. It took a few minutes to recall our past meeting but he excused me because I hadn’t seen him for 16 years.)

I also find remembering street names difficult - I navigate by visual landmarks. Giving people directions I say things like “you turn right at the traffic lights next to the shopping mall, go through the next set of lights, turn left at the cafe, right when you get to the T intersection, then left at the top of the hill.” (That’s one of my shortcuts to avoid the traffic lights at the church that are slow to change.) I may need to look into this anomia thing…

 

[kenaij]

Before learning more about autism and realising it is very very likely I`m autistic I had wondered about this using of names thing for years. It always seemed to odd to me why people felt the need to use my name when it is very clear they are talking to me. I never understood the need for it. I thought it was some sort of confirmation to show they know my name. But I am yet to find anyone who can really explain it to me.
I only use someone's name if there are more people around and it would be unclear I was talking to that person.

But this is just one more thing to add to the list of social behaviour I will most likely never completely understand.

 

[Levitat0r]

I almost never forget a face, but find it very difficult to remember names. I call lots of people “mate”.

(Until recently I would have said I never forget faces, but I recently bumped into someone at an event who remembered me, but I came up short. It took a few minutes to recall our past meeting but he excused me because I hadn’t seen him for 16 years.)

I also find remembering street names difficult - I navigate by visual landmarks. Giving people directions I say things like “you turn right at the traffic lights next to the shopping mall, go through the next set of lights, turn left at the cafe, right when you get to the T intersection, then left at the top of the hill.” (That’s one of my shortcuts to avoid the traffic lights at the church that are slow to change.) I may need to look into this anomia thing…

Yep, I relate. I try to remember to make myself look at the street name so that I can give not only others but also myself better directions.

 

[kriss72]

I also find remembering street names difficult - I navigate by visual landmarks. Giving people directions I say things like “you turn right at the traffic lights next to the shopping mall, go through the next set of lights, turn left at the cafe, right when you get to the T intersection, then left at the top of the hill.” (That’s one of my shortcuts to avoid the traffic lights at the church that are slow to change.) I may need to look into this anomia thing…

I would actually find such a description much more easy to follow than one that used street names, it's much more easy to find the intersection with the mall than some random street name, that I have no idea where is.

 

[Levitat0r]

I would actually find such a description much more easy to follow than one that used street names, it's much more easy to find the intersection with the mall than some random street name, that I have no idea where is.

Pretty much everyone appreciates landmarks. The trouble is when you wind up lacking cartographic literacy of the region because you're not habituated to paying attention to the names. I think a lot of people are like that, and you notice it when you ask for directions.

 

[Mary Terry]

I would actually find such a description much more easy to follow than one that used street names, it's much more easy to find the intersection with the mall than some random street name, that I have no idea where is.

I insist on being given a specific street address - the street name and house number. I can find my way there without obscure references to landmarks, shopping malls, etc. If directions such as turn left or turn right are involved, I insist on knowing if that's east, west, south or north. It's amazing how few people can or will actually provide specific addresses and compass directions.

 

[kriss72]

I insist on being given a specific street address - the street name and house number. I can find my way there without obscure references to landmarks, shopping malls, etc. If directions such as turn left or turn right are involved, I insist on knowing if that's east, west, south or north. It's amazing how few people can or will actually provide specific addresses and compass directions.

It really depends on the context, like if I have a GPS or a map, then yes, I need the address.

 

[Jumpinbare]

I insist on being given a specific street address - the street name and house number. I can find my way there without obscure references to landmarks, shopping malls, etc. If directions such as turn left or turn right are involved, I insist on knowing if that's east, west, south or north. It's amazing how few people can or will actually provide specific addresses and compass directions.

When dating my wife, I was surprised to find that she referenced compass directions rather than left and right. She was a registered nurse doing home healthcare, and had to learn to read maps since gps wasn't a thing yet. I was impressed. I was used to using map and compass from Scouts. I hadn't run into anyone outside of Scouts who did that.