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I don't experience restrictions the same way that you mention - but I do place very heavy/strong restrictions on myself within my interests - they aren't rational, but I have this compulsion about it that is very hard to fight (if I even try). Like....if I am into a certain type of thing at a time, I will randomly get the idea that I must have at least 2 of each, or some other number, or some other type of "rule". Following these self-imposed "rules" (I don't even know where they come from) is just as compelling? compulsive? as the special interest/object of interest itself. It can be a bit crippling.Hi guys,
For as long as I can remember, I've always put extreme restrictions on myself when it comes to interests. It's very strange. For instance, I go through phases of obsessing over each one of my interests, and while I'm obsessing over one thing, I can't allow myself to enjoy any of the other interests. I put pressure on myself to choose a favorite interest to focus on permanently because changing from one obsession to the next is emotionally draining and very stressful for me. I want to just settle on one interest and focus on it forever, but I just can't bring myself to choose one, and I'm simply unable to choose more than one. This is a very hard thing to explain, but is this common in people on the autism spectrum? Could it possibly be linked to OCD? I don't understand it, and it really bothers me.
Thanks in advance to anyone who reads/replies; any help is greatly appreciated.
Eggs are healthy? I thought they were full of cholesterol, haha.
Do they taste like strawberries?
I don't feel that I musn't focus on other interest while engaged in one - but that is what happens naturally for me. On the contrary, I feel I *should* engage them all at once, but I simply can't - I neglect all others, I only focus on one at a time.
About the same for me many interests but I generally do one thing at a time, I am not too good at multi-tasking.
It hurts on dating as I focus too much on it when I should be doing other things.
Yes My Mom likes to do things in little bites...that drives me crazy, I do not want to weed the garden one row at a time, I want to weed the whole thing and then go work on something else.Yes - that's the problem for me, too. Well, here it is for me - I wish I could say that my intense focus on just one thing only lasted a couple of hours per day, and then i switched to something else. Nope. My focus on that one thing will be all-consuming for weeks or months at a time if an outside obstacle doesn't block it or break it up. And while I am consumed with that one thing, everything else is being neglected.
Opia, I can definitely relate to a lot of your posts in this thread. I hate having multiple interests all competing for my time and attention. It causes me to get stressed out so I wind up having a love/hate relationship with them.
My current special interest is daydreaming about specific video game characters. Anime used to be my first and only love for many years, but I have been burned out on it for quite awhile. I feel torn between video game characters, which is my true love and passion, and anime, which I still wish I loved but the passion is gone.
I also do the "decorate my entire room with this interest and then take it all down when I'm done" thing too. I've had my room decorated in Pokemon for the past 8 months and I'm getting tired of it. But I'm reluctant to take it all down because it would just prove my dad right, because he predicted that it would all end up in the garage before my collection even started.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could consciously choose our interests instead of being at the mercy of whatever our brains feel like latching onto? For me personally, I've seen so many neat fictional characters that I wish I could be passionate about, but my brain always goes "Nope, we're obsessing over this character instead!" It's frustrating to me because I wish I could be a fanfiction author, but the characters I want to write about are different from the characters I'm passionate about. And in my experience as an amateur writer/artist, inspiration is only born out of passion.I know, right? It's extremely stressful and exhausting.The longest I've ever stuck with a single interest was about 3-4 months, I guess. At the time, I'd thought that I'd finally settled on one, but of course it changed again. I think maybe if I wasn't so susceptible to depression, this problem wouldn't be so severe.
I feel the same about the bedroom thing as well - my sister and mom are always joking about it, and it sucks because I really am trying my hardest to stop being so indecisive. It kind of ruins gift-giving occasions like Christmas and birthdays when someone gets you a present based on what you were obsessed with a month ago, and you're no longer into it. It makes me feel terrible.
Also, did you draw your avatar? I really like it!
And yours too, @ShrodingersMeerkat
Wouldn't it be nice if we could consciously choose our interests instead of being at the mercy of whatever our brains feel like latching onto? For me personally, I've seen so many neat fictional characters that I wish I could be passionate about, but my brain always goes "Nope, we're obsessing over this character instead!" It's frustrating to me because I wish I could be a fanfiction author, but the characters I want to write about are different from the characters I'm passionate about. And in my experience as an amateur writer/artist, inspiration is only born out of passion.
I know how you feel about people making jokes about changing interests. My brother jokingly referred to the garage as "The Plush Toy Graveyard" because I have gone through so many different phases of collecting various types of plush toys - yet another reason why I'm reluctant to take down my Pokemon collection.
And it's always really difficult for me to decide what to get for my birthday/Christmas, because the fictional characters I'm passionate about tend to have little to no merchandise related to them, so I have to settle for things that I'm only somewhat interested in. It makes my birthday/Christmas kind of less memorable.
As for my avatar, I didn't draw it - it's actually official artwork of a character named Charlie as she appears in the video game Don't Starve Together. Charlie is one of those random fictional characters that my brain has latched onto.
I'm really glad you could relate to my post! Whenever I try to tell non-autistic people about the fickle nature of special interests, they seem to have difficulty understanding what I'm talking about. That can be a frustrating thing. That's why I'm thankful for autism forums, where we can post about stuff like this and take comfort knowing that we're not alone in our experiences.That would honestly be a dream come true. I relate so much to that, you have no idea. I've always loved to write, and I always wanted to write fanfiction as well, but my inspiration can't stay in one place long enough. The same goes for my original material - no inspiration, no content. It's sad, because I've been told I have so much potential in that area, and it's just going to waste.
The attic and basement are my current "plush/merch graveyards." My head hurts just thinking about all the money that's been spent on things that I don't want anymore. Ugh, so much guilt.
Anyway, that game looks interesting. I may just have to check it out. Maybe it'll be a new thing for me to obsess over for a month.
I'm really glad you could relate to my post! Whenever I try to tell non-autistic people about the fickle nature of special interests, they seem to have difficulty understanding what I'm talking about. That can be a frustrating thing. That's why I'm thankful for autism forums, where we can post about stuff like this and take comfort knowing that we're not alone in our experiences.
Anyway, a lot of people have praised my creative writing abilities in the past, and I won an award for a piece I wrote in elementary school, so I definitely understand how you feel about "wasting potential". Don't even get me started on the immense difficulty I have when trying to write original pieces! I remember taking a creative writing course in junior high and it was a nightmare. Basic concepts like "target demographics" were completely foreign to me ("Who do you want to read your work?" My answer was "As many people as possible.") Thankfully the teacher was very patient, lenient and kind towards me. He could probably tell I was autistic even though I didn't know I was at that point in my life.
And I totally understand feeling guilty for all the money that goes towards fleeting interests. There have been times where I've wasted so much money at once and I felt so guilty afterwards that I literally wanted to die! It's more manageable if I only spend my money in smaller chunks. But I shudder to think of all the money I've wasted in total!
It would be neat if Don't Starve became your next interest. The lore is pretty lacking but I'm in love with the art style and character designs. (Case in point: Charlie!)
For me the specific focus also changes frequently, but it usually evolves around interests I already have/had or some broader interest categories. This can be useful in a way regarding some areas since I gain knowledge of different areas within the category, but also annoying for myself if a specific interest requires more time, but then my focus suddenly changes and I haven't actually "finished" the former interest in a way before losing my focus again.I do sometimes focus more on one than the other then it will change and I will focus on the other interests but usually my interests evolve around the ones I mentioned,my husband does say to me though "I'm wondering what the next obsession will be next month"
Instead of enjoying the purchase of something interest-related I rather overthink every buying decision and often end up not buying anything at all.Haha yeah, at the moment I'm in a state of hopelessness regarding this - there's really no point in buying anything related to my interest, since I'm so fickle. I hate it.
This is true for me as well.I don't feel that I musn't focus on other interest while engaged in one - but that is what happens naturally for me. On the contrary, I feel I *should* engage them all at once, but I simply can't - I neglect all others, I only focus on one at a time.