Was your social anxiety with you since birth?

[DudBomb]

I remember unsuccessfully trying to shave my nose down when i was 7, because kids mad fun of its size . I wet the bed till I was 15 .So I wet the nap mat a lot in preschool and kindergarten. I had to bring a towel to put over it. I was picked on daily cause I was big, "shy", and wouldn't fight back. I've always taken abuse whether from peers or verbal abuse from parents, very personally. I remember at my 7th grade banquet one of the other mothers asked my mom why I was always so serious.
At about 16 I really started to have anxiety especially at school. But not as much in public places. I live 13 miles from town so I was isolated my growing up years. I dropped out of school in the beginning of the tenth grade. I couldn't take the anxiety any more. The only classes i was passing was art and science. Also I enjoyed Geometry, but it became sleepy time.
I have a few other reasons for anxiety but I dint feel comfortable discussing in an open forum just yet.
Now pretty much anywhere I go triggers my anxiety. It's like I cant take it all in and get overloaded. Being 6'5" 380 pounds doesn't help matters. Sweat rolling down my forehead and dripping from my beard like a broke faucet by the time I get to the checkout. Forgetting to grab a bag or take change. Then fast-walking out like i stole something.
Now church has me anxious. I keep finding myself staring at the preacher's wife. No particular thoughts in my head good, bad, or indifferent.
It could be worse.

 

[Pixen]

I have had social anxiety since I was old enough to realize I was different and other kids didn't like me. Around grade four or five. I still dislike large groups of people or people I don't know. I just want to be accepted. It doesn't seem to happen.

 

[MrSpock]

I've never had a problem with self-confidence outside of social interaction, and even then I wouldn't describe what I experience as a lack within myself, more of an incompatibility between myself and the local system which I just happen to be in. If the local system were different I might be very good socially, I seem to get along with most people pretty well on this site.

I haven't ever been very needy for friendships, although I was often called shy as a child I really had no problems walking up to people and talking, and if there's something I already want to talk about with a particular person I just do it. I simply have no interest in talking to most people, and am quite content to have only as many friends as there are people who are rewarding to be around and have a genuine interest in me, rare as they may be.

I was unaware that I was any more different from the other kids than they were different from each other until grade 6, and then the difference was made clear to me in an extremely positive and shocking manner. I was to learn later on that there had been a heated debate involving many kids at the school regarding the girls being smarter than the boys. Out of nowhere a large group of boys grabbed me and hoisted me onto their shoulders, they then proceeded to do a lap around the school with me, exhibit "A". That ended the debate. It would be a long time before any difference I noticed between myself and 'normal people' would cause me anxiety.

I'd kissed girls before that, but only desired girls that I had already talked to and become fairly familiar with. Not until after graduation did I start to desire girls that I didn't know at all and I wanted to talk to someone when actually talking to them wasn't the purpose of talking to them. If I am curious about something a stranger is carrying, for example, I have no problem just walking up to them and asking about whatever it is, then going away with my information never to see them again. But starting a conversation without already wanting to talk about something in particular (besides how incredibly attractive the other person is) feels very awkward, and knowing that I can't interpret her emotions in the way that almost everyone else can is definitely a disadvantage. This is depressing. Although I have less need for social interaction than most, at this point in my life the inability to connect to potential mates is perhaps my biggest fear, I may well be single for the rest of my life. Perhaps more important than interpreting emotion is interpreting hints, where I fail miserably and feel stressed about it. Previously if I failed to understand hints I just wasn't aware of my 'failure', as I was not aware that the hinting took place.

It wasn't until I was in my 30's that I began to really appreciate the social disadvantage I had, and it bothers me somewhat more. Not enough that I would trade my differentness to fit in, there is no doubt even for a second, except where finding love is concerned. As I get older I become more willing to trade things for that, it seems more important, and I suppose it really is more important for my well-being.

people with ASD have a delayed realization that our peers are judging us based on our behavior, and it usually happens around early to middle teens while with most NT people it happens around 4 or 5 when they're beginning to interact with the world outside the home.

Can you expand on this? I also did not have "trouble" before about 14. If we are not realizing that our peers are judging us, what are we doing with our relationships up to that point ? How are we different?

I'm not sure that I interpret this correctly, but took this to mean that judgement takes place but according to different criteria. NTs are learning to judge each other according to the emotional signs which they are learning to read at a young age, whereas we are only recognizing that this happens at all later on. Personally I tend to judge people on what they think and believe more so than on how they react to me emotionally, and whatever aspies base their early childhood friendship choices on I really doubt it is heavily based on reading the emotions of other children.

 

[Bloodline]

My social anxiety increased as my experience with people expanded, the more I found out how F...up NTs are and how the all lie constantly sometimes maliciously, sometimes not to hurt feelings, sometimes to protect themselves, but they are always fundamentally dishonest in their human interactions.

 

[Jusdifferent]

My social anxiety increased as my experience with people expanded, the more I found out how F...up NTs are and how the all lie constantly sometimes maliciously, sometimes not to hurt feelings, sometimes to protect themselves, but they are always fundamentally dishonest in their human interactions.

They can be. But not always. I think the reason is - they simply care more what people think of them, therefore there is more incentive to lie? Maybe???

 

[Jennacide]

I was a scared child, always been scared around people... diagnosed with social phobia.. sucks

 

[justin_havu]

I was pretty shy as a kid, especially at lunchtime during school, even though I was forced by my special ed teacher to sit with other kids, I always wanted to be by myself. I got teased and picked on a lot which only added to my discomfort.