Ways you've felt opposite to others on the spectrum?

[Sofi]

I've definitely felt opposite/different to others on the spectrum in the 'Speech - loudness and talkativeness' category. I go to a few groups and clubs for people on the spectrum and it seems a large proportion of these people I've met talk at a very loud volume and talk a lot one-sided. They also repeat the same story over and over again, each week I see them for example they will say the same story they said last week. I appreciate these are Autistic traits but I am nothing like this - I barely talk in a group and when I do, I talk at a normal volume or quieter than average volume and don't talk in speeches. I am capable of a two-way conversation. This difference is so obvious that it has made me question if I really do have ASD at all!

However, I seem to be more sensitive to their loud volume than others on the spectrum. I can't listen to this loud volume of constant speech for very long, especially if there's other voices around too, before I get overwhelmed and have to leave. Whereas, others seem to tolerate it. more I also find it quite annoying!

 

[Gritches]

What do you mean by this - how will it throw you off? Sorry if I'm asking too much.

It's hard to describe, but things just won't feel right, and everything else will be off schedule from when it should be. Like, the other day, I ate a big meal at 3:00 pm because I was hungry, but I'm used to eating at 6:30. So I ate again at 6:30. If I didn't, I'd probably wake up during the night to eat. Then I wouldn't wake up in the morning hungry at all and then I couldn't eat breakfast. Waking up at night would also disrupt my sleep, meaning I'd wake up tired, or wouldn't wake up on time at all. Then I'd either be tired all day and/or late and running behind all day. Everything would be screwed off the next day from when it should've been, so instead of dealing with all that I just ate at again 6:30 like I do every single day, and everything turned out fine.

 

[55853]

With your format:

1. Speech.
   1. Loudness. When I get exited, that is when I get loud.
   2. Talkativeness. I can social like a champ, and with people I know and like, it's much easier than with strangers.
   3. Sociability. On a 17 year marriage and have friends stretching back for years.
   4. Use of language. Huge vocab, love to read, a writer myself.
   5. Topics of conversation. Shared interests, which can be the lives of others.
2. Emotions. I feel them MORE than average.
3. Imagination. Metric tons. Also, a novelist.
4. Coordination. My ironic nickname is "Grace."
5. Organisation. It depends. If it is electronically based, I'm fantastic. I can write code which is extremely fussy. But my closets tend to be disaster areas.
6. Routines/flexibility. I'm fine with change about most things, but I do like to know where we are going and when we will get there.
7. Blending in. No one had a clue about me being on the spectrum.
8. Getting others to believe they are on the spectrum. But once I was officially diagnosed, a lot of those close to me were unsurprised But people who don't know me well would probably not believe it. (I only share with trusted people who have some clue.)

Thanks for sharing, it's interesting just how many ways we are different.

Firstly, they talked a lot. And really fast, and about things that I have little knowledge of or their special interests, and I got completely behind the conversation and lost. I don't talk much and can't think that fast, I'm slow to process. I had the impression that they were processing much faster than I was and were kind of way ahead of themselves - I talk little, and slowly. Also, they type fast, I can't.

This has been my experience, although I can type fast if I know what I'm typing. I'm typing slowly replying to these posts because of the thinking involved, rather than my typing ability, if that makes sense.

Secondly, I'm not into pop culture, celebrities, social media, TV shows, Disney, video games, pop music

I'll watch TV, but I'm not really "into" anything on it, and could easily live without one - there's not much I like, and I really can't stand dramas which is a lot of what's on there. I listen to pop music, have messaging apps installed on my phone to keep in contact with people, but I don't use any other part of social media. But otherwise, I'm not involved at all with anything else you've mentioned.

I enjoy learning languages and am good at it, many on the spectrum find language learning difficult.

I do too, but I'm not sure that I'm good at it. In school I didn't find learning them harder than similar subjects.

I don't have issues with foods toughing each other or needing to eat bland foods - I love spicy food.

Me neither to both, although I'm (physically) sensitive to spicy food so I don't tend to eat it.

Some people on the spectrum love brightly coloured things. I don't. I like darker colours.

Me too for clothes, but otherwise I don't have any feelings to colours.

I've noticed that some have a really abstract way of thinking - I struggle with abstract thought, and like things to be straighforward and literal.

This is something I'll need to look into, thanks.

Its the one thing I do well at. Not trying to brag...

It doesn't come across as bragging, don't worry.

I don't talk much about my own situation (out in real world). I try to avoid the whole discussion if possible...

I do as well, thanks for sharing.

I've definitely felt opposite/different to others on the spectrum in the 'Speech - loudness and talkativeness' category. I go to a few groups and clubs for people on the spectrum and it seems a large proportion of these people I've met talk at a very loud volume and talk a lot one-sided. They also repeat the same story over and over again, each week I see them for example they will say the same story they said last week. I appreciate these are Autistic traits but I am nothing like this - I barely talk in a group and when I do, I talk at a normal volume or quieter than average volume and don't talk in speeches. I am capable of a two-way conversation. This difference is so obvious that it has made me question if I really do have ASD at all!

However, I seem to be more sensitive to their loud volume than others on the spectrum. I can't listen to this loud volume of constant speech for very long, especially if there's other voices around too, before I get overwhelmed and have to leave. Whereas, others seem to tolerate it. more I also find it quite annoying!

Similar experience to me. I assume it's because the quieter and less talkative people either have never considered going or they've went and found they don't fit in and stop going, making the louder and more talkative people represent more and more of the people there.

It's hard to describe, but things just won't feel right, and everything else will be off schedule from when it should be. Like, the other day, I ate a big meal at 3:00 pm because I was hungry, but I'm used to eating at 6:30. So I ate again at 6:30. If I didn't, I'd probably wake up during the night to eat. Then I wouldn't wake up in the morning hungry at all and then I couldn't eat breakfast. Waking up at night would also disrupt my sleep, meaning I'd wake up tired, or wouldn't wake up on time at all. Then I'd either be tired all day and/or late and running behind all day. Everything would be screwed off the next day from when it should've been, so instead of dealing with all that I just ate at again 6:30 like I do every single day, and everything turned out fine.

I see, that makes sense, but it's somehow never happened to me.

 

[Judge]

Given considerable thought, my answer would be "none". That over the years here I've found others to simply have a wide range of traits and behaviors at varying amplitudes.

I continue to find very few people who seem to be void of envy and jealousy as myself, yet I'm not even convinced this is something within the realm of autism. And in terms of exemplary executive functioning, I've found others all over that spectrum as well.

In essence I have far too many traits and behaviors that are more or less common to others than any that I would seriously consider to be the opposite of others. Just my observation, anyways. Just another indicator to me that I am indeed on the spectrum.

 

[Tom]

HF autism has a lot of variation. I think as you interact with more Aspies you'll get a better feel about the tendencies and which are usually shared and which are only sometimes shared. We all have our own personality inside (more or less separate from autism) that has a big effect on how things go.

 

[Crossbreed]

I don't know if it's the giftedness, autism or both, but my intelligence feels like it is inverted.

When I feel like I've done or said something clever, others will respond like, "Everybody does/knows that."

When I feel like I've done or said something mundane, others are blown away by my apparent innovation...

[I misread the OP question. The above is how I feel among NTs.]

 

[Katleya]

Right now, I can only think of one thing that seems to be going against the grain: I need my clothes to be tight. Mind you, I don't like feeling choked in my clothes, but ever since the day I noticed that tight layers under my clothes helped me with balance and with spatial orientation (and proprioception, not trying to throw in big words, but it's really that: the perception of my own body and its volume in space, which is what helps people walk through a door frame rather than walking into it, for example), I made it a point to get used to the tightness because I saw the immediate benefits of it. I did hate tight clothes as a kid, I spent years refusing to wear socks, even in the middle of winter. But give me flowy clothes, and you can watch me bang into every single piece of furniture around, and then some. Worse yet, make me wear jeans, and chances are I will stay away from stairs because I'm bound to fall, but I'm fine in a skirt for some reason (maybe it also channels my energy, and by having clothing that restricts my movements and slows me down I become less accident-prone because I'm forced to be careful).

I continue to find very few people who seem to be void of envy and jealousy as myself, yet I'm not even convinced this is something within the realm of autism.

Oh, hi! No one ever believes me when I say I don't have those feelings. I just don't understand envy or jealousy, they don't seem like an effective way of achieving anything. Don't think it's inherent to autism either, maybe it's just a matter of personality or rearing? Don't know.

 

[Crossbreed]

@Katleya , I agreed with your second paragraph. (I'll just take your word about the skirts... )

 

[Sherlock77]

I think the biggest thing I doubt...

So many people on here describe not liking big crowds, loud music, loud things... As a photographer and someone who enjoys the arts, I wade into situations like that reasonably often and it doesn't bother me that much...

Also, my ability within my photography to approach strangers and ask if I can take their photo (as a street portrait), and occasionally in these situations begin long conversations, it seems to be very non-aspie, although it is typically one-on-one which can be an Aspie trait

At the same time, ask me to take party portraits at an event where everyone is just mingling, especially inside, I almost can't do it, and I have tried it... I used to work with a poetry festival (defunct now), I did great with the stage photography... The organizer always wanted me to try to get some crowd portraits as well, in between sets, I always made some attempts but struggled with it...

 

[WereBear]

I just don't understand envy or jealousy, they don't seem like an effective way of achieving anything.

I am there as well. I feel them... but then almost instantly there pops up a good reason why this is pointless, and I stop.

So many people on here describe not liking big crowds, loud music, loud things... As a photographer and someone who enjoys the arts, I wade into situations like that reasonably often and it doesn't bother me that much...

It is different being IN a crowd but not OF the crowd.

I guess this is why I am fine with a couple of hours sitting in a cafe, writing... I am being left alone, with few social expectations.

 

[Judge]

Oh, hi! No one ever believes me when I say I don't have those feelings. I just don't understand envy or jealousy, they don't seem like an effective way of achieving anything. Don't think it's inherent to autism either, maybe it's just a matter of personality or rearing? Don't know.

Good to know. You're the second person here who has mentioned having the same condition as I do.

And yes, it can be oddly problematic to others in our orbit who routinely feel jealousy and envy.

In my own case I just have a very strong sense of logic about having to live my own life for better or worse. Where there is no point in being jealous or envious of others because it's my own life I must live and not any others. It helps ground me to living within my means as well.

 

[Katleya]

In my own case I just have a very strong sense of logic about having to live my own life for better or worse. Where there is no point in being jealous or envious of others because it's my own life I must live and not any others. It helps ground me to living within my means as well.

It works in a similar manner for me. Occasionally, seeing what someone else has accomplished will inspire me (when others might just seethe with jealousy), and I'll work to achieve the same result. Perhaps jealousy has something to do with a lack of self-confidence and trust in one's ability to do as well as others? As in, some people think, rightfully or not, that they wouldn't be able to have the same as another person, so they choose to resent that person instead of coming up with ways to be in a similar position.

Did the absence of jealousy and envy get you in trouble, though? It has been at the root of a lot of harrassment for me, because I failed to see when people were jealous of me (possibly also because I know how much I struggle with life, and can't really see what there would be in my life to be jealous of... ).

 

[Judge]

Did the absence of jealousy and envy get you in trouble, though?

Oh yes. Where it went badly for me in one particular relationship. Where at first my girlfriend seemed to like my point of view which seemed favorable to her at the time. However later it began to bother her over a particular issue and she decided that it was more of a liability than an asset under the circumstances.

 

[Crossbreed]

Did the absence of jealousy and envy get you in trouble, though? It has been at the root of a lot of harrassment for me, because I failed to see when people were jealous of me (possibly also because I know how much I struggle with life, and can't really see what there would be in my life to be jealous of... ).

BTDT

 

[Siobhan]

My major things where I feel different are with routines and information.
I've never been any good at memorizing things or taking in a lot of information all at once, or even remembering what I was researching in the first place. I often don't seek information even when I'm interested in it because the process of acquiring it feels like a huge uphill battle and makes me feel stupid, even though I know I'm intelligent. Conversely, I feel like I need to know how to do something "the best" way before I try and do it, and give up easily when I get overwhelmed.
I have some special interests, but they fade and get replaced very quickly so I have a base knowledge of a lot of stuff, but not a lot of detailed knowledge about anything but my favorite shows and beverages, and when I absorb information, it's hard to apply it to other situations.
The best I can describe it is that everything feels new every day and I have to consciously figure out every step of every action I take, and I don't know how to do a lot of things. It's hard to get into a routine because I have to chunk the task of brushing my teeth, let alone anything more complex, and day to day life is a jumble in my head so I just kind of shamble along doing the best I can. The idea of planning out a routine is so overwhelming because the amount of information I need to process just to do one thing is so much that thinking about planning a whole day of that exhausts me. The rest of the things on the list, I'm high/low depending on my mood and energy level, but usually not in the middle, although I'm really good at faking it.

 

[Progster]

I feel like I'm not super-intellegent like many Aspies are - while I'm certainly not stupid and probably have at least average intelligence, I don't have genius levels of it that others have. I feel like I'm much slower than others.

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

I expected to find other people with intense special interests.

 

[abby normal]

I am an emotional aspie, not a logical/dispassionate aspie. I don't have the maths talent genes either.