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Weird insults that made you smile/laugh

AGXStarseed

AGXStarseed

Well-Known Member
Have you ever heard any strange insults that managed to make you smile or made you giggle/laugh - whether you heard them while out and about, read them from a book/webpage or heard them from a TV show/film?

I'll list a couple to get us started:

1. "Bumder" - I came across this one when my brother was watching a Tv show called The Inbetweeners. Apparently, the guy saying it tried to say "Bender" or "Bummer" and accidentally combined both words together.

2. "Rotten old Rot-Rasper" - Heard this one in the original animated adaptation of Roald Dahl's "The BFG".
The BFG himself says to it to refer to Mrs Clonkers; the lady who runs the orphanage he took Sophie from, when Sophie says how she gives horrid punishments to people who do even the slightest thing wrong - such as locking kids in the dark, rat-infested cellar for not folding their clothes properly.
(Around 15:50 in this video - The BFG)
 
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"You Ding-Dong!"

A line from Maston Thrust in the film "The Last Dinosaur". You can hear the line here at around the 24 second mark:
 
I like the irony of the over weight, work shy male accusing the post graduate female who will be starting her masters in September of being too thick to get “a proper job” because she’s managing a shift at McDonalds out of term time.

Like he’d know what a “proper job” was...
... or even a work ethic
... or not relying on government handouts.

It makes me smile.
 
'The only culture you have is bacteria'

Yep. That one never fails to make me smile. I think I saw it on a meme in one of my extended googling sessions
 
“A face like a Bulldog licking the p••s off a thistle”


In my mind the Bulldogs face is hilarious whilst trying to do just that.
 
"You couldn't catch a cold!":mask:
This was said by Bugs Bunny and other characters, usually while being pursued by someone who is too slow and/or stupid to catch them. Not long I leaned that in Japan there's sort of a weird superstition that really stupid people are somehow immune to colds, so if someone in Anime catches one, someone else might say, "Looks like even idiots like you get colds.", which is sort of the like the western insult I just mentioned.
 
Gracey said:
I like the irony of the over weight, work shy male accusing the post graduate female who will be starting her masters in September of being too thick to get “a proper job” because she’s managing a shift at McDonalds out of term time.

Like he’d know what a “proper job” was...
... or even a work ethic
... or not relying on government handouts.

It makes me smile.
Click to expand...

The annoying thing is, I've been accused on various forums of being that very same "Workshy slave to the benefit system", despite over 20 years of experience in voluntary work, and over 20 years of attempting to get a "proper" job, I applied to CEX (Computer Entertainment Exchange) in Town last week.

What some people say, is that if I can do all that voluntary work, why can't I get a real job? I'll tell you why! Discrimination (IMO) against disabled adults in the UK, I can't prove it, but it HAS and STILL DOES happen.
 
My friend and I were walking together in town.
Small town. Place we lived. Population under
10 thousand. Not an urban metropolis. No
gang action. We were 16.

OK...

Another pair of girls is walking toward us on the
sidewalk. For some reason the other girls seem
to find the fact that we exist to be infuriating.

My friend gets entangled in an obscure argument
regarding who has the right to walk on the sidewalk.
Wrangle started by the other girl.
"You ain't slut enough."

This seemed absurd to me.
I thought, "True. I'm not a slut,"
and kept walking.
 
Of course the undisputed maestro of eclectic, irrelevant insults is Captain Haddock.
Have a go at this generator!
upload_2018-5-30_16-29-53.png
 
In the old Masters Of The Universe cartoons, Skeletor was a master of insults. He insulted his bumbling minions as well as He-Man and his friends.

"Why can't I join your gang?"
"Because you're a wimp scientist and you could be a wimp villain!"

*To his minion Whiplash* "They should call you Wimp-lash!"

*Taps his finger on his minion Trapjaw's head* "Just as I expected. Hollow! You metal-munching moron!"

*Trapjaw, amazed as he watches Skeletor twirling his staff* "I-I didn't know you could do that!"
"I could write a book about what you don't know!"

"Skeletor to King Randor, Skeletor to King Randor! Come in, you royal boob!":smile:
 
Mr Allen said:
The annoying thing is, I've been accused on various forums of being that very same "Workshy slave to the benefit system", despite over 20 years of experience in voluntary work, and over 20 years of attempting to get a "proper" job, I applied to CEX (Computer Entertainment Exchange) in Town last week.

What some people say, is that if I can do all that voluntary work, why can't I get a real job? I'll tell you why! Discrimination (IMO) against disabled adults in the UK, I can't prove it, but it HAS and STILL DOES happen.
Click to expand...

Perhaps the difference with you Rich is that you wouldn’t try to humiliate a hard working, intelligent young lady in front of many other customers and her colleagues?

Would you shout insults across the lobby of a fast food restaurant at the crew working there in order to ‘grandstand’ in front of your mates?
 
Gracey said:
Perhaps the difference with you Rich is that you wouldn’t try to humiliate a hard working, intelligent young lady in front of many other customers and her colleagues?

Would you shout insults across the lobby of a fast food restaurant at the crew working there in order to ‘grandstand’ in front of your mates?
Click to expand...

No.

But I don't have any mates so that would be a moot point anyway :(
 
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