What are some of the biggest lies you heard about highly sensitive people? (supportive thread)

[Neri]

I respect your intent to explain and seek validity for yourself. I just think the generalization is unhelpful toward that goal. It also invalidates other people. If I said most black people were ignorant, but this doesn't apply to all of them, would that be a worse statement?

I'm also confused about generalizing as a way of explaining things aren't the same for everyone. That sounds contradictory.

Its seems like this to me. People thought there were loads more Autistic men than women for years. In fact it was seen as a male condition, because female autistic people often present differently. One of the hypothesis around why this is, is that females, in general, are far more "wired" to work very hard to fit in socially, and thus we tend to be better at mimicking, masking and generally being fairly invisible, as autistic people
In my case, I am 50 and just recently received confirmation of my autism because of how I've gone about being invisible, as a child (a very quiet, bookish girl, who hid in the library at school) and then an abused (by a man twice my age) teen mum who learnt how to talk to people via performance art and who hid behind my role as a mother of a large family.
As a "late diagnosed" female autist, (and I'm diagnoses as ASD2 mind you), with both sides of my family showing autistic traits and having subsequent generations of children getting diagnosed, I didn't inherent a small dose of the auties.

Being female and working EXTREMELY hard to "go under the radar" is not at all uncommon, in comparison to the majority of males. Not all, but many. My youngest sons are much like me, but my second oldest is very noticeably autistic

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Its seems like this to me. People thought there were loads more Autistic men than women for years. In fact it was seen as a male condition, because female autistic people often present differently. One of the hypothesis around why this is, is that females, in general, are far more "wired" to work very hard to fit in socially, and thus we tend to be better at mimicking, masking and generally being fairly invisible, as autistic people
In my case, I am 50 and just recently received confirmation of my autism because of how I've gone about being invisible, as a child (a very quiet, bookish girl, who hid in the library at school) and then an abused (by a man twice my age) teen mum who learnt how to talk to people via performance art and who hid behind my role as a mother of a large family.
As a "late diagnosed" female autist, (and I'm diagnoses as ASD2 mind you), with both sides of my family showing autistic traits and having subsequent generations of children getting diagnosed, I didn't inherent a small dose of the auties.

Being female and working EXTREMELY hard to "go under the radar" is not at all uncommon, in comparison to the majority of males. Not all, but many. My youngest sons are much like me, but my second oldest is very noticeably autistic

I see your point. It was the use of the word understand that bothered me. I would disagree with the word wired, but I won't disagree with your experience. It's basically mine.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

It’s not unhelpful or any worse if I use the contradiction as an example to illustrate what other people believe and see how they feel for themselves. Like they told me, autistic HSP’s are weird (which I find to be inappropriate), so I combat that with another generalization (which is also inappropriate) so they can get a clue of what they say might cause a negative reaction to other people. Just because I make a generalization about something doesn’t mean I believe it.

What I’m saying about other people in response is SUPPOSED to be a contradiction. That’s the point! And I’m fully aware of what I might say may be offensive to some people, but the reason I do this is because I want them to acknowledge about their words. For example “you make generalization X and I feel hurt, I make generalization Y and you feel hurt, see how that makes you feel bad? That’s how we feel when you make one”.

Think of it as a “taste of your own medicine” if you will. That’s my intention.

Thank you for listening and explaining more.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

Thank you for listening and explaining more.

You’re welcome.

 

[bard]

He didn't call you or anyone else weird. He said "It's all kind of weird..." As if it's an interesting concept to try to get one's head around. I don't think this is a time to take offense.

That was the heart of it. ASD and HSP feel like they principally have different aims. ASD: blueprints and keeping order; HSP: infographics and animation director of education

Referring to the writer, [author deleted]

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

That was the heart of it. ASD and HSP feel like they principally have different aims. ASD: blueprints and keeping order; HSP: infographics and animation director of education

Referring to the writer, [author deleted]

But think of it this way, with having both of these conditions, it becomes an entirely different aim: to combine both aspects together means you’re completely in charge of everything. How exactly does that NOT make sense??

 

[Neri]

How about the mind scramble of my co-occuring conditions? I am a HSP with ASD2, ADHD all types & complex ptsd. Also "2e".

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

How about the mind scramble of my co-occuring conditions? I am a HSP with ASD2, ADHD all types & complex ptsd. Also "2e".

Think of them as similarities instead of differences. The main problem with insisting having combinations of varied disabilities doesn’t make sense is because you only focus on the differences.

My point is, think of things that are SIMILAR to these factors. For example, all of those you listed have sensory issues and extreme sensitivity. You might argue that autism is physical sensitivity while HSP is emotional sensitivity, but I’ll counter it with, so what? Sensitivity is STILL sensitivity.

 

[Cryptid]

What are some of the biggest lies you heard about highly sensitive people?​

1. They're all gay.
2. They're all desperate for attention.
3. They're all manipulative.
4. They're all trying to avoid responsibility.
5. They're all immature / afraid to "grow up".
6. They're all hopelessly spoiled.
7. They're all just putting on an act.

Disclaimer: These are all things that have been said about me when I have shown any degree of sensitivity, sympathy, or compassion, and especially when I have expressed these things around toxic "Uber-Macho" males. Getting away from and 'ghosting' such people (even members of my own family) has always been my single best option.