What is my Gender?

[Guppyfry]

WHo cares what you like? Since I was kid I liked legos over barbies, target shooting over make-up.

I never felt uncomfortable being a woman, and I have no issues ignoring social norms and living the way I like. Wearing mostly men's clothing because it fits better and is more comfortable and more practical, for example.

Do what you like, you are being yourself, don't let social expectations make you feel anything less than proud of who you are.

 

[WittyAspie]

Believe it or not, but the trinity is a made up doctrine. Jesus is not God and he often said this himself and the holy spirit is a force, not a person!

How would one explain John 10:30 if the Jesus is not God?

(I hope this does not break forum rules. My intent is a respectful discussion.)

 

[Suzanne]

How would one explain John 10:30 if the Jesus is not God?

(I hope this does not break forum rules. My intent is a respectful discussion.)

Respectfully taken and with respect explained. Jesus was in heaven ie the first born of all creation, before coming to earth and so, he is the reflection of his Father in personality. One one can see our Creator, because He is too bright and we would die.

I can show you scriptures to prove this, if you would like?

 

[savi83]

You don't need a label. Labels set limits. Just be yourself and happy [emoji6]

 

[Larisa]

I feel best when I am no gender.

I want to support you about struggling under the outward society's pressure to 'take the role (gender) in the prescribed scenarios of the allowed human behaviour'.
Society DENIES being just the person at all - no, you should fit into one of the boxes neither of which is roomy enough to accommodate you without squeezing.
When I talked to people debating about gender - I'm baffled: how can you feel a gender from inside? How it is even possible to feel 'female' or 'male'?
There are plenty examples in the wild nature that the she-wolf or the mare can be the leader of their group - if we talk about social expectations on the genders.
Gender can not be felt from inside, physically - it's social carvings into standart forms - that encourage some actions and forbid the others for every person.
So I feel sympathy to the people who desperately miss the parts of themselves which the socially imposed concept of 'gender' cuts from them raw and for ever.
I can't comprehend and nobady can explain me why was it FINE when the Romans wore dresses (togas) and proudly posed for creating of their statues in that apparel - and why is it so WRONG if a man wishes to wear a dress now?

 

[Aster]

Because I noticed there is some confusion while reading these posts, I'll just say: Sex and gender are two very separate and distinct entities.

 

[WittyAspie]

Respectfully taken and with respect explained. Jesus was in heaven ie the first born of all creation, before coming to earth and so, he is the reflection of his Father in personality. One one can see our Creator, because He is too bright and we would die.

I can show you scriptures to prove this, if you would like?

Suzanne, I am going to send you a message so we can continue our discussion without taking this thread way off topic.

 

[Suzanne]

Suzanne, I am going to send you a message so we can continue our discussion without taking this thread way off topic.

Before you do, I just want to say, that I answered your question and so, in truth, if it is to bash back and forward regarding the diety of Jesus, then may I request that you do not message me?

You see, I have had many who have argued the point and my aspie brain cannot cope with it.

If it is to have an interesting discussion and to answer each other, by each point the other raises, then that is fine, but I generally get: tons of quesions and I give answers and I get no response back from my answers, but just more "pointing" fingers.

 

[Full Steam]

It's all concepts isn't it?

Does a bull "feel" male and a cow "feel" female?

Of course not - they simply "are". They exist just as they find themselves.

Society has constructed concepts of what male and female are, and expects people to attempt to fit themselves in there.

It's nothing to do with autism - maybe that's just helping you see the concept for what it is.

Trying to conform to a concept is to have an impossible goal, and it can only create misery.

The only thing any of us is just "I".

I am - you are - let the rest of the world deal with that..

 

[WittyAspie]

Before you do, I just want to say, that I answered your question and so, in truth, if it is to bash back and forward regarding the diety of Jesus, then may I request that you do not message me?

You see, I have had many who have argued the point and my aspie brain cannot cope with it.

If it is to have an interesting discussion and to answer each other, by each point the other raises, then that is fine, but I generally get: tons of quesions and I give answers and I get no response back from my answers, but just more "pointing" fingers.

I would hope to be the latter. However, our discussion could easily lead to the former, so I will refrain from messaging you.

On a side note: I am glad I found a forum of adults who understand how to respect each other. I am beginning to realize that this site is a gem.

 

[Suzanne]

I would hope to be the latter. However, our discussion could easily lead to the former, so I will refrain from messaging you.

On a side note: I am glad I found a forum of adults who understand how to respect each other. I am beginning to realize that this site is a gem.

Oh if NT's were like this lol

 

[Diagnosed2015]

I was born female. I was married and raised three children and one have one grandchild. There is no doubt I'm "female" by birth, but I don't like being referred to as a girl or a woman.

I can't "consider" people as being male or female (except for the obvious differences) without considering them weak or needy (female) or potential abusers (male). I also know that even the best marriages can turn into a cheating situation if the right opportunity presents itself, and I continually proved that to myself when I was much younger.

Some of this comes from life experience, family disfunction, etc. but for my entire life, I've always thought I'd make a better boy than a girl. I have friends of both genders and several different sexual orientations, but if I allow myself to see them as heterosexual males and females (as appropriate) I can't seem to see them as just "people," which is how I want to be seen.

I wear a lot of black because I don't want to be known for how I look, and a cancer-related double mastectomy only further strengthened my desire not to be seen as male or female.

While I am occasionally attracted (aesthetically) to someone's looks, I don't necessarily want to meet them, I just want to notice them now and then.

I have no idea how to explain this better -- I've been trying for a while. My kids call it gender blindness when I can't remember someone's gender, but I have no idea how it fits with me, other than perhaps "undefined" based on NT societal norm.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

Since all this hit, I am all mixed up.

I don't feel male but I LOATHE anything female. I was looking at the med braceletts and felt ill looking at the frilly ones. I went to the Mens section and YAY! I saw ones I liked. I buy t-shirts only in hte male section because female section does cutesy things with tshirts I hate.

I guess I am seeking to look androgynous just automatically.

Has this happened to anyone?? I had clothes that were female of course. Jeans and stuff. DUMPED!

I feel best when I am no gender.

Yet, when I do vids on my special interest (not autism ) then I DO look like my gender (F). I even comb my hair!

So I am all mixed up. I never FEEL female, but I do present as F in some occasions. I never feel male, either.

I FEEL like a prepubescent child of no gender. I think I am going crazy,

Has anyone just had their gender drop right off??

The term I have heard is Agender

 

[OkRad]

I was born female. I was married and raised three children and one have one grandchild. There is no doubt I'm "female" by birth, but I don't like being referred to as a girl or a woman.

I can't "consider" people as being male or female (except for the obvious differences) without considering them weak or needy (female) or potential abusers (male). I also know that even the best marriages can turn into a cheating situation if the right opportunity presents itself, and I continually proved that to myself when I was much younger.

Some of this comes from life experience, family disfunction, etc. but for my entire life, I've always thought I'd make a better boy than a girl. I have friends of both genders and several different sexual orientations, but if I allow myself to see them as heterosexual males and females (as appropriate) I can't seem to see them as just "people," which is how I want to be seen.

I wear a lot of black because I don't want to be known for how I look, and a cancer-related double mastectomy only further strengthened my desire not to be seen as male or female.

While I am occasionally attracted (aesthetically) to someone's looks, I don't necessarily want to meet them, I just want to notice them now and then.

I have no idea how to explain this better -- I've been trying for a while. My kids call it gender blindness when I can't remember someone's gender, but I have no idea how it fits with me, other than perhaps "undefined" based on NT societal norm.

That is interesting, about how you do not see gender. I do see it, but to be on my guard because I have to. When I was younger I would not notice and get into situations where a guy might try to think it was about something else. It was like kids hanging out to me, but to them, well.......

I just wanted to talk about stuff like theology etc when the ladies always wanted to talk about **** like makeup and how to be a godly woman. I mean I like the idea of being a godly woman and all, but I wanted to get into some Thomas Aquinas and they would discuss Bible cover and stuff.

And the guys always thought I was trying to get it on when I REALLY WANTED TO UNDERSTAND AQUINAS!!!!!

So it never worked.

IF I had been in a place where gender and roles were not so marked, I may have had better experience.

 

[WittyAspie]

That is interesting, about how you do not see gender. I do see it, but to be on my guard because I have to. When I was younger I would not notice and get into situations where a guy might try to think it was about something else. It was like kids hanging out to me, but to them, well.......

I just wanted to talk about stuff like theology etc when the ladies always wanted to talk about **** like makeup and how to be a godly woman. I mean I like the idea of being a godly woman and all, but I wanted to get into some Thomas Aquinas and they would discuss Bible cover and stuff.

And the guys always thought I was trying to get it on when I REALLY WANTED TO UNDERSTAND AQUINAS!!!!!

So it never worked.

IF I had been in a place where gender and roles were not so marked, I may have had better experience.

I am going to assume devotionals aren't your thing. I had to submit a reflection essay today about some early Christian writings and ended up going on a rant about how not enough Christians are willing to dig into theology. Have you read much of Thomas Aquinas? I know his basic spot in the history of theology and philosophy. I am a little more intriqued by Soren Kierkegaard though.

 

[Alcyon]

I am going to assume devotionals aren't your thing. I had to submit a reflection essay today about some early Christian writings and ended up going on a rant about how not enough Christians are willing to dig into theology. Have you read much of Thomas Aquinas? I know his basic spot in the history of theology and philosophy. I am a little more intriqued by Soren Kierkegaard though.

The study of Kierkegaard specifically, and existentialism generally, should be a requirement for all, but certainly for those who struggle with being different. At first I was afraid that this might be taken as derailing the thread; actually, obliquely, it is very relevant.

 

[Diagnosed2015]

"That is interesting, about how you do not see gender. I do see it, but to be on my guard because I have to."

I used to (still) miss cues which imply flirtation, because I don't read any more into a conversation than the topic at hand. I had an incident where a bunch of us on a thread were talking about making a salad.

Someone PM'd me and we continued the salad discussion (stuff like, I like to peel tomatoes and add bacon bits). After several minutes, the person in the message said, "You know, I hardly ever do this." When I replied, "What? Make a Salad?" they replied, "Flirt."

I wrote back, "Oh, were we flirting? I was just making a salad." (I've had a lot of those instances in my life, because I wasn't thinking of flirting at the time. I know when I'm flirting, but often don't recognize when someone else is).

 

[SimonSays]

@OkRad

For what it's worth, there's a lot of male energy in the way you speak and the words you say. So the fact that you are female is interesting, but would only be relevant in real life when perhaps it is obvious that is what you are when looking at you.

So there is something quite liberating about interacting in words only so that what you say is who you are, not who you are is what you look like.

I am male and have always identified that way. But I have often felt myself to have a feminine brain. Many people have said similar things to me over the years and some of that that could perhaps just be them picking up my Asperger traits without knowing I have them.

I prefer the company of women and rarely spend time with men. I always dress for comfort because that seems the most practical thing to do. I shave my head and my face because I don't need to be concerned with the bother of grooming, but have also experienced bushy hair and beard when I couldn't be bothered to do any of it.

I think it would be difficult to feel like I was a different gender as some people do, sometimes to the point of literally having to change how they appear on the outside, through drugs and surgery. It sounds like a difficult challenge to accept yourself as you are, and I can understand why some people go ahead and do that, to try to eliminate some of what they feel interferes with living their life as they know themselves to truly be.

Anyway, I like you whatever your gender.

 

[SDRSpark]

I identify openly as non-binary and privately as genderfluid (I don't tend to want to explain gender fluidity so I go for the catch all of "doesn't fit the gender binary" because it's easier).

I've never fit the "girl" or "woman" mold, but growing up, it never mattered much. I was always a tomboy (though I do also enjoy some feminine things). I have always fit in with men more though.

I only recently (within the past 5 years or so) started identifying as non-binary. The tipping point was that the current political climate made me feel a lot of social dysphoria that I never felt before. It's become increasingly clear to me as I get older that I do NOT share the same perspective as many women and it started to actually cause me discomfort in social situations (whereas before, I was pretty much the same as I am now, but I didn't feel that discomfort).

I've also (as a result of understanding sensory processing differences) started focusing on wearing more comfortable clothing day to day, which means I've gotten away from most of the "feminine" stuff - my wardrobe is pretty androgynous at this point. And I've been androgynous for so long that if I try to dress in feminine clothes I feel like I'm playing dress-up. It's fun, but it doesn't feel like me. I feel like I'm playing a role.

"That is interesting, about how you do not see gender. I do see it, but to be on my guard because I have to."

I used to (still) miss cues which imply flirtation, because I don't read any more into a conversation than the topic at hand. I had an incident where a bunch of us on a thread were talking about making a salad.

Someone PM'd me and we continued the salad discussion (stuff like, I like to peel tomatoes and add bacon bits). After several minutes, the person in the message said, "You know, I hardly ever do this." When I replied, "What? Make a Salad?" they replied, "Flirt."

I wrote back, "Oh, were we flirting? I was just making a salad." (I've had a lot of those instances in my life, because I wasn't thinking of flirting at the time. I know when I'm flirting, but often don't recognize when someone else is).

I'm pretty sure that either a) I definitely come across as queer and so the majority of men assume they'd be barking up the wrong tree and don't bother or b) I really can't tell that someone is flirting with me unless they're going so far it borders on inappropriate. (It's likely a mix of both, honestly). Either way, it's actually pretty rare that I'm aware of anyone attempting to flirt with me.

 

[OkRad]

@OkRad

For what it's worth, there's a lot of male energy in the way you speak and the words you say. So the fact that you are female is interesting, but would only be relevant in real life when perhaps it is obvious that is what you are when looking at you.

So there is something quite liberating about interacting in words only so that what you say is who you are, not who you are is what you look like.

I am male and have always identified that way. But I have often felt myself to have a feminine brain. Many people have said similar things to me over the years and some of that that could perhaps just be them picking up my Asperger traits without knowing I have them.

I prefer the company of women and rarely spend time with men. I always dress for comfort because that seems the most practical thing to do. I shave my head and my face because I don't need to be concerned with the bother of grooming, but have also experienced bushy hair and beard when I couldn't be bothered to do any of it.

I think it would be difficult to feel like I was a different gender as some people do, sometimes to the point of literally having to change how they appear on the outside, through drugs and surgery. It sounds like a difficult challenge to accept yourself as you are, and I can understand why some people go ahead and do that, to try to eliminate some of what they feel interferes with living their life as they know themselves to truly be.

Anyway, I like you whatever your gender.

Well, back at ya!

I think it's funny I seem male. I have heard that before. But I am small and unassuming. No wonder I am treated so oddly, come to think of it! I think when you are a small female and you are making assertions about some strange philosophers, it's just plain unacceptable. I really got the idea I was supposed to like fluff, but I don't I soared with the mystics and philosophers and for some reason, it made people poed. Do you get that as a male? Because i know you also are not one to be tethered to the earth.