What is this called?

[Phanelope]

I can have words perfectly formed in my mind but when they come out its just a load of nonsense. Its very frustrating, and its why I prefer to communicate in text. Although even when it comes to the written word I sometimes struggle to get it out the way I intend it.

 

[Phanelope]

Yes, I relay on scripts and set phrases for things.

Does this happen to you?

Them: "How can I help you today?"
Me: "Good, thanks."

 

[Gritches]

I'm the same way. I usually just don't speak unless I can articulate what I'm trying to get across. I find that analogies help with that.

Just a theory about why:

I don't remember exactly why I know this, but there are apparently four levels of thought:

1. Public speech - what you say to others
2. Private speech - talking to yourself
3. Inner monologue - thinking to yourself
and
4. Conceptual thinking - Thinking in wordless concepts

My theory as to how this applies to ASD is that we spend a great deal of time in the fourth layer of thought, where we can understand vast and complicated concepts without necessarily turning them into words. Why would we do that? Because words are much slower and more constrictive than wordless concepts. The brain is, above all else, efficient, and for whatever reason we can tap into the fourth level of thought as effortlessly as NTs can tap into the first level.

Some, of course, can take it further than others, like those that can visualize the entire workings of a car but not necessarily be able to spend the hours that would be required to put that all into words. I figure it's why one of my favorite phrases is "oh my God, get out of my way, I'll do it." Because I know how to do whatever "it" is, but I can't necessarily explain it.

 

[Progster]

Does this happen to you?

Them: "How can I help you today?"
Me: "Good, thanks."

Sometimes

 

[ksheehan88]

Yea I'm terrible at articulating my thoughts... Often drops me in the proverbial.

 

[Apleba]

I can relate with this as well. Usually when I talk under stressful conditions, thoughts run away, I cannot think about what I am saying. It seems that I want to grasp a thread that is running away from me - I clearly see that thread, it is there and I understand it, but I cannot grasp it (put it into words properly). That is my experience.

 

[tree]

This thread has a similar topic>

https://www.autismforums.com/threads/difficulty-putting-thoughts-to-words.22364/#post-443187

 

[Hadarian]

Most people are not deep thinkers, and if you're trying to get something complex or subtle across then a message that another deep thinker might have no problem with might simply be too much for most people

I have often observed groups of people, many of whom have difficulty understanding me when I try to talk of something complex or subtle, who seem to have no problem communicating with each other in spite of them contradicting themselves and using trite popular phrases nearly devoid of meaning.

People with 4x4s of unusual ability will tend to get stuck more often than someone who drives a low-performance sedan to the store and back and asks no more of it than that.

I agree with this. I have become very good at articulating myself, especially in writing. However, it was a skill I was forced to learn in order, firstly, to defend myself against my family, and also for academics and for one or two guys I had a relationship with who didn't understand the deep and consistent ways in which they were hurting me--I really bent over backwards linguistically (not even in English for one) to explain in very calm and clear, simplistic terms how some way they were treating me was traumatizing me--to no avail.

I was in my mid-30's by the time I was actually starting to get good at this. Prior to that, I really had no voice. Nowadays I keep forgetting that I had no voice, because I've gotten so good at expressing myself and different concepts. And in spite of that, people still don't understand me often, because I try to express things that they don't even know exist--often they think they know, but I know they don't know. I try to express levels and nuances of experiences they have had, so they think they understand, but they don't. So I rarely bother talking to people much anymore, except about the most meaningless things, what everyone normally talks about anyway.

A problem is the words that we have are used in such shallow, superficial contexts which are rooted in nothing, that when a more profound nuance of a similar phenomenon comes along, there is no language to express it. Our words have no meaning. And I know I am not understood, they think I am understood.

 

[Loren]

Yes, this phenomenon is the bane of my existence.

I'm not sure if there is a term or name for it, but, in my case I have chalked it up to a combination of sensory processing, executive functioning, obsessive thinking, social anxiety and residual effects of being repeatedly miss-understood throughout life. It can be exhausting.

I will, either, avoid communicating, all together, or, spend exorbitant amounts of time, editing, perfecting, minimizing, and, most of the time, deleting in the end. On multiple occasions, I have had to refrain from participating in forum discussions, as a result. There are a few, current discussions that I have wanted to join/have something I wish to add, but, haven't been able to put my thoughts into coherent words.

It feels similar to being on sensory overdrive. Another thing I have noticed about myself, is that I will either, completely, shut down, or, become utterly speechless, upon noticing that I have multiple things in common with another person. I freeze and go inside myself, when I would actually, like to express it to the other person.

 

[Lily Muffet]

I have a hard time, sometimes, not always, getting my questions into words that others can understand what I am asking. Or explaining things so others don't get the wrong idea.
Does anyone else struggle with this? Is it common in ASD?
I can understand exactly what something means, I just cannot get it across to others, or explain it.

Oh yes!!! This is one of my most frustrating problems. I think is it quite common amongst Aspies. I can write or type the things I want to say but I can't connect my brain with my mouth. Or I can't seem to put what I want to say in any kind of "order". Often I tell people a story or something but I leave out the crucial information and they are left looking rather politely confused I also forget what I was saying or go off on a strange tangent.
People sometimes take what I say the wrong way too. Although, I would argue that many of my friends and family are Aspie too so it may actually be them or me or a bit of both!
Another problem is that I feel the need to get the words out quickly which only adds to the frustration and difficulty, but if I don't I find that people interrupt me and then I am completely lost.
Overall, I tend to be a listener rather than a talker. Unless it's about one of my special interests Get me on the topic of cats or Aspergers and I'm away

 

[Lily Muffet]

Definitely. Sometimes I don't know when to start when explaining a challenging problem or situation, because there is a lot of background info and I can't immediately suss out what is and isn't relevant.

That's exactly it!

 

[Lily Muffet]

Yes, this phenomenon is the bain of my existence.

I will, either, avoid communicating, all together, ......

......... Another thing I have noticed about myself, is that I will either, completely, shut down, or, become utterly speechless, upon noticing that I have multiple things in common with another person. I freeze and go inside myself, when, I would actually, like to express it to the other person.

I can relate to this. As I get older I honestly just feel like I haven't got the energy or ability to talk sometimes. I just want to do hand gestures, nod or shake my head, or just switch off / shut down completely. It's really odd. It just seems like too much effort.

 

[Lily Muffet]

Oh yes!!! This is one of my most frustrating problems. I think is it quite common amongst Aspies. I can write or type the things I want to say but I can't connect my brain with my mouth. Or I can't seem to put what I want to say in any kind of "order". Often I tell people a story or something but I leave out the crucial information and they are left looking rather politely confused I also forget what I was saying or go off on a strange tangent.
People sometimes take what I say the wrong way too. Although, I would argue that many of my friends and family are Aspie too so it may actually be them or me or a bit of both!
Another problem is that I feel the need to get the words out quickly which only adds to the frustration and difficulty, but if I don't I find that people interrupt me and then I am completely lost.
Overall, I tend to be a listener rather than a talker. Unless it's about one of my special interests Get me on the topic of cats or Aspergers and I'm away

Also, I cannot complain or argue as I can't get my words out. But I can write a wonderful polite and assertive letter. So when email really took off I was very happy - no more face to face complaints or phone calls to people

 

[DesertRose]

Oh yes!!! This is one of my most frustrating problems. I think is it quite common amongst Aspies. I can write or type the things I want to say but I can't connect my brain with my mouth. Or I can't seem to put what I want to say in any kind of "order". Often I tell people a story or something but I leave out the crucial information and they are left looking rather politely confused I also forget what I was saying or go off on a strange tangent.
People sometimes take what I say the wrong way too. Although, I would argue that many of my friends and family are Aspie too so it may actually be them or me or a bit of both!
Another problem is that I feel the need to get the words out quickly which only adds to the frustration and difficulty, but if I don't I find that people interrupt me and then I am completely lost.
Overall, I tend to be a listener rather than a talker. Unless it's about one of my special interests Get me on the topic of cats or Aspergers and I'm away

Me exactly!

 

[Vitamin Sea]

Me to. I go through the same difficulty everyday trying to express words that seem to get caught up in my mind, in my throat, in my mouth or where ever. NTs talk too much with a limited time for listening. And that really bothers me when I pause for a few seconds because the moment I find the right words to say, their limited listening time is over. That's why I would rather be silent most of the time.

Writing is so much better than speaking because I've got more time to think..

In speaking with NTs, I developed a trick over the years I usually prepare in my mind what topic would be usually discussed with my friends or colleagues, so I anticipate all the topics, questions, and answers. It can be the weather, local or global news, celebrations, mundane affairs, etc. So I have rehearsed an outline in my mind of what I'm going to speak. Then I would usually hear comments like, "You're brilliant." Haha.. with all that mental preparation I go through.

That trick helps me get through but I've lost my spontaneity.

 

[Progster]

Another problem is that I feel the need to get the words out quickly which only adds to the frustration and difficulty, but if I don't I find that people interrupt me and then I am completely lost.

I have this problem, too. People interupt me when I pause and don't let me finish what I want to say. It's so frustrating. People have no patience, especially in groups, I have no chance.

 

[Phanelope]

Up until the age of around 30, I would rush to get my words out before I forgot or got interrupted. What came out was unintelligible. It still happens at times now.

 

[Sloth]

I think that as an Aspie you can sometimes see things in a different way than others, this ability can be highly valuable sometimes but can make it difficult to explain how you think.

I think I'm a super logical person. But I found out early on that my logic isn't the exact same as what other people count as logic. If in school for papers I would write out naturally how I think things, I would get a failing grade for being "illogical and irrational" . I had to make an effort to understand and lay out ideas in the format teachers could understand, then I'd be praised as "creative".

It is supposed to be people on the Spectrum who are bad at "theory of mind" and understanding the way other people's brains work, but to be honest I don't think NTs are that great at it either, they often can't understand us after all.

On top of that, I might be lacking in social experience, and live in constant dread of messing up socially, so sometimes when I realize I made a social mistake and don't know what to do, I freeze up like a dumb deer in headlights which makes it even more awkward .

 

[Hadarian]

Another thing I have noticed about myself, is that I will either, completely, shut down, or, become utterly speechless, upon noticing that I have multiple things in common with another person. I freeze and go inside myself, when I would actually, like to express it to the other person.

I'm having something similar to this experience in this very thread relating to those who posted after you. I didn't freeze, per se, but I read Lily Muffet's post and I got excited and thought "Yes, me too, I have always had this chasm or disconnect between my mind and my mouth--but a connect between my mind and my hands--typing or writing. I have tried to analyze the difference, as it is clearly a different process to write out thoughts than to speak them. And I think, "Oh, I have to post..." Then I read further in her post and think "oh, people are always interrupting me and talking on top of me," so I also usually just sit and listen. Every now and then I will run into a "special" person who actually wants to listen to me, and then it's hard for me to shut up, unfortunately.

So then I read further still and I think "Oh my God TOOOOO MUCH." Decades I have been trying to explain that it takes so much energy and effort for me to say something or talk, that I actually choose not to, even when I think of something to say. I literally don't have the energy to make myself heard. I will only force myself to say something if I think it is important and worth the effort for me to say it. And I have never heard anyone else say this before aside from me!

So in the end I get so overwhelmed with things people are writing that mirror me, that I just leave, because it's too much in too short a time.

I think I'm a super logical person. But I found out early on that my logic isn't the exact same as what other people count as logic. If in school for papers I would write out naturally how I think things, I would get a failing grade for being "illogical and irrational" . I had to make an effort to understand and lay out ideas in the format teachers could understand, then I'd be praised as "creative".

It is supposed to be people on the Spectrum who are bad at "theory of mind" and understanding the way other people's brains work, but to be honest I don't think NTs are that great at it either, they often can't understand us after all.

This is what is so messed up about it all--we are supposedly the ones who fall short, yet we have been forced to adapt, analyze and understand both ourselves and them in order to present ourselves to them in a way they will accept and understand. I have been doing things like this all my life, especially with my family members and they have no clue at all.

By the way, I love the sloth baby--so cute . When I was young, in gymnastics, the others called me "sloth" because I used to hang upside-down on the balance beam.

 

[LearnedCoward]

Up until the age of around 30, I would rush to get my words out before I forgot or got interrupted. What came out was unintelligible. It still happens at times now.

I have the tendency to speak very slowly and deliberately, but lately I've been speaking faster and faster out of fear of being interrupted.