what kinder people do you attract

[David Rosales]

I attract the weirdos. I mean that in the nicest possible way, the few friends I do have are all weirdos haha. We all have the same warped sense of humour, we all like stuff that's maybe not popular and we get on well.

This is very true in my life! My dearest and most loyal friends all fit in my Top 10 Favourite People of All Time because when I'm with them I actually feel okay to be me

 

[Rich Gray]

I attract geeks and nerds. Either they live in their parents basements, or they own huge houses and make a gazillion dollars a year. Hardly anyone is in the middle.

My wife agreed to go out with me because I was kind to those who were honorably outcast. Mostly, by this point in my life (age 17-19), I did not give a crap about what other people thought. I attempted to join the cool kids, but did not like what it felt like to be fake friends with people, so I basically said screw this noise. But a heap of is was also likely Asperger's.

The hardest part about relationships, for me, are starting them. Just find people with the same hobby and you have a really good shot at finding some friends.

 

[Rich Gray]

I think this is why I changed my appearance after my accident. I now look odd. I wear a knit hat even in summer. At first I needed it to make me feel safe. Now? Now to me it's a beacon. Maybe it's a beacon to leave me alone or a sign that I am not like NTs. I am not sure. But I feel safe with it on. So I wear it. And I only wear the same kind of clothes day after day after day.........

I wear a spicific type of Carheartt knit hat the breaths very well. It makes me look a lot more approachable to Hispanic and black folks for some reason (I am a white guy).

Mainly I wear this because I shave my head (balding) and I am cold year around without a hat.

I think this is the one (model A207) Fleece Hat Black-A207

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I reckon that your guess is incorrect. I thought that forever...but I got lucky with very strong - willed women. The truth is that mostly males are expected to call the shots regardless of the outcome.

Aspies are generally not equipped for effective courtship.

I'm not sure if it'll be that simple. I think I'm asexual as well.

 

[OkRad]

I wear a spicific type of Carheartt knit hat the breaths very well. It makes me look a lot more approachable to Hispanic and black folks for some reason (I am a white guy).

Mainly I wear this because I shave my head (balding) and I am cold year around without a hat.

I think this is the one (model A207) Fleece Hat Black-A207

I LOVE THAT HAT! That is my favourite styleI am a sucker for knit hats. I just might buy one of those. It's that blunt style.

A lot of them you have to fold over and that is OK. But then they are not so sleek.

Then some are too tiny and could only fit a newborn. They plainly scalp you when you when you wear them.

Other have that crease and then you are either dealing with being a conehead or the devil because if you tunr it the one way, it leaves a point at the top, and if you turn it the other way, it leaves two points on the side .BRILLIANT! (Not)

Others frame your face to make you look like you have no face at all.....too much around the edges.

But THIS is my fav style!! I have two that I never wear because I never could find any others!!

It's been hit or miss because mostly I buy in stores and you can never find them in stores and now I know why. They are WORK hats! SO thank you!! Now if you see a weird looking person wandering around in various colours of this hat, well, that would be a happy OKRAD!

 

[Moviefan2k4]

I'm not really sure what kind of people I attract, because I don't go out much by myself. A lot of my friends during childhood were significantly younger than me, and to this day I feel some sort of bond in that regard. I'm just not used to people constantly screaming, running around, or pulling pranks.

 

[Maelstrom]

I tend to attract aggressive users....who see my sweet side as me being easy prey.

And I attract what I call picture frame straighteners who see me as a aberration to correct. They start out nice but End up being mean when I don't correct quickly for them.

But I have learned to be warm and friendly and over time I can now attract real sweet people with Golden hearts sometimes. They make great life friends...my best friend in real life is one he is like a Gandhi he helps everyone.

I hate losing friends it makes me ill....sometimes people just go bad on you when they don't get what they wanted.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I attract people who are either:
quiet, thoughtful and sarcastic. I guess they see a kindred spirit in me.
Or loud self-absorbed people who I guess see in me someone who won't interrupt them while they talk about themselves for hours on end.

 

[Rich Gray]

I LOVE THAT HAT! That is my favourite styleI am a sucker for knit hats. I just might buy one of those. It's that blunt style.

A lot of them you have to fold over and that is OK. But then they are not so sleek.

Then some are too tiny and could only fit a newborn. They plainly scalp you when you when you wear them.

Other have that crease and then you are either dealing with being a conehead or the devil because if you tunr it the one way, it leaves a point at the top, and if you turn it the other way, it leaves two points on the side .BRILLIANT! (Not)

Others frame your face to make you look like you have no face at all.....too much around the edges.

But THIS is my fav style!! I have two that I never wear because I never could find any others!!

It's been hit or miss because mostly I buy in stores and you can never find them in stores and now I know why. They are WORK hats! SO thank you!! Now if you see a weird looking person wandering around in various colours of this hat, well, that would be a happy OKRAD!

I found some in a few colors (I will have to find that webpage). Red ones are on clearance for ~$6. You can then say that your hat is soaked with the blood of you enemies (and/or you are a Redcap from English folklore).

 

[Pondering]

I attract the strong, quiet ones. Usually warm, sensitive, and gentle people. The kinds of people who often come across as 'invisible' or aren't understood. The kinds of people who have a lot to say but are one of a few things: 1)shy, 2) comfortable in their own heads, 3) no one ever really bothered to listen to what they have to say so they don't bother speaking, or 4) all of the above.

 

[Merilthel]

Actually I seem to attract the nice ones. Well that is what I have noticed!

The manipulative females seem to not like me at all and I do not think it is because they see that they cannot manipulate me; but because I give of an aura that does not attract them.

What I hate is ones that say amazing things, but is a pretty foul person!

Personally I can relate to that!! I attract to the nice ones, but also people that has likeminded interests &/or in some other ways are relateable! I found that immidiately when I joined this community yesterday, it was a much welcomed break for me!!

 

[fuðflogi]

It's easier to make friends with other people who have "problems" but does anyone else have trouble making any friendship stick?

And how! I chase them away being kind and helpful, and too upfront about my feelings. Besides I think for many hiding behind social convention is safe, not needing to show true feelings ,not having to be vulnerable and not having to see those things in others is normal. So it freaks them out. And in the end they don't know how or can't reciprocate so they run away.

 

[Caitie33]

I seem to always strike up a conversation with other women who seem just like me, no edit, seem aloof. Just like my childhood friends, it seems we are going to be really good friends for a few weeks or months and then they ghost me. There are things that I definitely understand are off putting to most people and realize what I do after the conversation is over. What really has me puzzled though is these women who I meet and bond with so easily and quickly, then they just stop wanting to be my friend and act like I said something wrong or maybe too personal, but they shared stuff that was just as personal.

 

[paloftoon]

I seem to always strike up a conversation with other women who seem just like me, no edit, seem aloof. Just like my childhood friends, it seems we are going to be really good friends for a few weeks or months and then they ghost me. There are things that I definitely understand are off putting to most people and realize what I do after the conversation is over. What really has me puzzled though is these women who I meet and bond with so easily and quickly, then they just stop wanting to be my friend and act like I said something wrong or maybe too personal, but they shared stuff that was just as personal.

This sounds like a slew of situations based on context. Without the specific context, it's hard to know why they might have been turned off. That's unfortunate. It's not necessarily always your fault at all either- something else to keep in mind. Best thing you can do is move on to other people and keep improving yourself and your confidence as much as possible.

 

[Caitie33]

Most people are too polite to tell you what you did wrong, they'll just politely avoid you. Best thing I can do I'm afraid is keep to myself. I assume by improving myself you mean learning to behave more like a NT? Oh I try to all the time and it is exhausting. I've learned it's best to just be polite to people and not try to be friendly.

 

[paloftoon]

Most people are too polite to tell you what you did wrong, they'll just politely avoid you. Best thing I can do I'm afraid is keep to myself. I assume by improving myself you mean learning to behave more like a NT? Oh I try to all the time and it is exhausting. I've learned it's best to just be polite to people and not try to be friendly.

Improving yourself is not necessarily being more NT. Improving yourself could be becoming very knowledgeable in geography, another hobby/interest, and then being able to talk about those things when in certain circles when the time is right. When you can exude confidence in yourself, this can potentially make it easier to be around some people. You might get to a point where you don't really care what you're doing "wrong" as long as no one is getting hurt because you might just find a few people who you do clique enough with because they are more open or get you enough. It's harder for people like us to find other such people, but they are out there. This is what helped me get more to the point of where I am. I had a few people try to tell me that I "needed to get out more", but when they heard all the stuff I did, they completely changed their tune and told me I actually had to cut back. So, keep your options as open as possible and try as many different things as you can stand if one group is working out well for you. Take breaks when necessary. Good luck.

 

[Caitie33]

i have thought about that, trying to make friends more based on common interests and hobbies. Men do this better. Women like to have other women who they can talk to about more personal stuff. It's just every time I make a friend who I click with that way the friendship dissolves quickly. So do you just try to keep the conversation topics limited hobbies?

 

[fuðflogi]

I seem to always strike up a conversation with other women who seem just like me, no edit, seem aloof. Just like my childhood friends, it seems we are going to be really good friends for a few weeks or months and then they ghost me. There are things that I definitely understand are off putting to most people and realize what I do after the conversation is over. What really has me puzzled though is these women who I meet and bond with so easily and quickly, then they just stop wanting to be my friend and act like I said something wrong or maybe too personal, but they shared stuff that was just as personal.

 

[fuðflogi]

i have thought about that, trying to make friends more based on common interests and hobbies. Men do this better. Women like to have other women who they can talk to about more personal stuff. It's just every time I make a friend who I click with that way the friendship dissolves quickly. So do you just try to keep the conversation topics limited hobbies?

Oops...I was just going to say right I allways,(well not always) figure it out after the conversation what I may have said or may have done wrong then it's too late, no unsend worked into my programming.

 

[SunnyDay16]

In real life I tend to attract nurturing people, most of them being female. They're older than me by a few years and it's probably because I give off a quiet but sensitive aura. They tend to call me "sweetie" and "honey" and stuff which I think is kind of cute but a bit bothersome in the sense that they don't really seem to view me as an equal.

On the internet I tend to attract people who have a plethora of issues (which I don't mind) and tend to have really negative views on life. I don't mind it much, but I can't talk to those kind of people for too long because I will find myself feeling negative and down. I don't know if I'm attracting these people because of "birds of a feather", but maybe because I try to be empathetic and listen to other's problems.