What prevented you from accepting your autism?

[Au Naturel]

I think that the OP meant accepting it as an accurate diagnosis --and not something else-- rather than accepting having it.

For my own case, I don't think I make a distinction. If I accept it as accurate I have no choice about accepting having it. In my mind, the two are not severable. The next step is figuring out how to deal with it. In the case of autism, it was such a close match to my reality, the accuracy was never in question.

 

[merithra]

I did not believe it because it felt like a disadvantage to have and I figured my issues were down to laziness.

 

[NB79]

When i read in some article about autism, it rang a bell, but i guess i was resistant to accept the idea because maybe i didn't like change or something of the way i was thinking but after reading about it more i felt i was relating a lot.

 

[Raggamuffin]

My last therapist and current one advise caution as unresolved trauma mimics neurodiverse behaviours and symptoms.

So we'll see how a few months of EMDR therapy goes. I'm still on the NHS waiting list for an assessment. Once the van is done I'll pay for a private Autism assessment later in 2023.

I think they wanted to advise caution as if I say that I have symptom/behaviour x, y, z and say it's due to autism. Where's the room for improvement? If I state I do these things because I have an incurable developmental disability then I'm sort of shooting myself in the foot when it comes to my beliefs and scope for improvement.

I remain open minded. But I'm sure that I'm somewhere along the spectrum. My ADHD diagnosis alone proves that. But both therapists advised the same caution with regards to ADHD too.

It's tricky.

Ed

 

[WildCat]

The stigma surrounding it and general ignorance, along with the little information I had about being on the spectrum. I had little to no idea back then and was quick to associate it with being broken in some way. My being aware of it took a toll on my self-esteem...yeah, those were some rough teenage years I had.

Looking back 20 years ago and now, it being 2023...I think there has been much progress in recognizing what it means to be on the spectrum. Not everyone will understand still, which I expect, but there's much more in the way of resources and information thanks to growing awareness and more people being connected to the internet than ever before. Forums like this one are a prime example of all that, along with being a place to get some kind of support when you really need it the most.

Now, I think I've come to better terms with it, and would rather not associate with people who want to remain ignorant or, worse, the toxic sorts that get mentioned here on a daily basis. Nope, you only get one life to live and that's time better spent elsewhere. I would urge those who are still confused to do the research and listen with a healthy dose of skepticism, more so if the other person is a loved one or someone you're close to, and go from there.

 

[YabbaDabba]

I’m not officially diagnosed. But for me it has always felt like everyone treated me like the problem was me but its not a real problem. I just needed to try harder and apologize.

I also feel like the medical system is just not equipped to understand pain like this.Mental health feels cookie cutter with one answer fits all solutions.

If I tell them I am depressed and lonely they will encourage me to ‘get out there and make some friends’. Like everything else will fall into place if I could only make that effort.

But the reality is I don’t seem to have the social skills to maintain any relationship. Encouraging me to get out there without realizing I need extra help understanding social situations is like sending a soldier to war without a gun.

I can’t accept autism because no one else will accept it either. I think its really sad that us adults who self diagnosed had to invent our own wheels to get to this point.

 

[Crossbreed]

I can’t accept autism because no one else will accept it either.

Does that mean you do not currently accept it...?

 

[YabbaDabba]

Does that mean you do not currently accept it...?

Well I guess I’ll always feel like an imposter. I could have used better grammar. I should have used a word with past tense.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Autism is a continuum like everything is see my physics thread everything is a continuum including length everything is interconnected. once you think like this everything makes sense just read an article on women. With high testosterone levels so even, sex is on a continuum.

 

[Au Naturel]

I’m not officially diagnosed. But for me it has always felt like everyone treated me like the problem was me but its not a real problem. I just needed to try harder and apologize.

I also feel like the medical system is just not equipped to understand pain like this.Mental health feels cookie cutter with one answer fits all solutions.

If I tell them I am depressed and lonely they will encourage me to ‘get out there and make some friends’. Like everything else will fall into place if I could only make that effort.

But the reality is I don’t seem to have the social skills to maintain any relationship. Encouraging me to get out there without realizing I need extra help understanding social situations is like sending a soldier to war without a gun.

I can’t accept autism because no one else will accept it either. I think its really sad that us adults who self diagnosed had to invent our own wheels to get to this point.

Not accepting something doesn't change reality. It only makes the reality hurt more. If you are autistic, there are things to be done to improvise, adapt, and overcome. If you aren't, there will be different approaches to take. None of these require the cooperation or even awareness of any third party.

It is what it is. Autistic people often do not properly understand social cues. Sensitivities to things like noise and light and crowds and certain textures and foods. They may have special interests that others are not interested in. Often have stims that others find irritating. They may have valuable skills and abilities but can't get them recognized because of social handicaps. Clumsy in sports. At work or school, they are usually the ones who "didn't get the memo." People confuse the extremely literal interpretations autistic folks make with oppositional behavior. Been there, done all that, and didn't even get a t-shirt for it.

If autistic traits weren't handicaps in the neurotypical world, this forum wouldn't exist. Dismissing mental health assistance as "cookie cutter" is a mistake. A lot of people here have benefitted from it.

 

[YabbaDabba]

Not accepting something doesn't change reality.

I feel this is the second time this sentence has been taken out of context. Please allow me to make my point again.

The title of this thread is what has prevented you from accepting your autism. I feel the medical system has prevented me from accepting autism because they won’t accept it in me. It’s discouraging to ask for help and be treated like you have been helped while not helping me understand the underlying cause of my issues is autism.

For example. Years ago I decided to get therapy. I spent a little over a year and way more money than I want to admit. I took many of those multiple choice tests with the therapist and the computer suggested I am autistic. The therapist disagreed and was angry with me for acting like I’m worse than I am.

At that time I was not considering autism and had no knowledge of it. The therapist was positive that its not autism. I never gave it a second thought.

Today my understanding of autism is much different. Once I started to research it I felt like every single confused piece of my life and my mothers life made sense. Plus that one awkward uncle, and cousin…

Today - from a logical factual standpoint, I am not the slightest bit unsure if I am autistic. From an emotional standpoint autism is hard to accept because so many in my past have been so positive I’m just not trying hard enough.

I’m not sure if that made it more clear?

I have a few other responses to make on your post but I don’t know how to quote your post a second time in this post. I’ll need to make
additional posts to voice my opinion. It will take a few hours. I’m at work and need to get back to it.

 

[Stuttermabolur]

I have a few other responses to make on your post but I don’t know how to quote your post a second time in this post.

If you select a text segment as if you were copying it, +quote and reply options should appear to the side and under the overlined text in black (at least on a computer). If you click on the reply option, you reply only to that segment and can do that multiple time, but the +quote option is handy as it allows you to save multiple quotes, and then insert them at the appropriate places in your message one at a time.