What woke you up, what alarm went off?

[Aspychata]

Did you have a 'a ha" moment, where you realised that you couldn't tolerate something anymore?

 

[Aspychata]

At some point l walked away from a 18 year marriage. My therapist said many abused woman go back to abusers. Thinking nope, l counted every day because l could not wait to be free. It was hell, l rotated on his sphere, in his little tiny planet of nothing. My moment came when l finally realized l could do whatever it took to walk away, no matter what limitations l had. What have you overcome?

 

[Fino]

Answering the first question, I've suddenly stopped going to jobs twice, realizing a few minutes before I was going to head out that I can't go again.

I've also "realized" I couldn't tolerate how I was feeling and did something stupid about it probably about 10,000 times.

But with your second question and your own anecdote, I'm thinking maybe you meant no longer able to tolerate something bad and then fixed it?

 

[Judge]

For me there was no "aha" moment for most of my life.

At least not until I began to put it all together around the age of 55. Until then I remained a mystery even to myself, not really understanding my own sensory issues. Sounds, sight and especially my sense of smell.

I just thought "my spring was wound too tight".

It still amazes me that after so long a time I was able to piece together who and what I am.

 

[Progster]

When I saw the thread title, my immediate thought was that I don't set an alarm and wake up when I want

In the middle of a school presentation, when you are supposed to clap and cheer and look happy. I just suddenly dropped the pretence, the mask and didn't put back on again.

Yearly end of term burnout. I quit many jobs, many times I swore I wouldn't go back to any form of teaching, but it's the only way I can make a living and there's nothing else for me to do as I have no other skills or qualifications, so I have no choice.

 

[SusanLR]

When I saw the thread title, my immediate thought was that I don't set an alarm and wake up when I want

That's what I thought also.
I was ready to write my internal subconscious brain woke me up!
That's the alarm I use.

I haven't had many of those moments that I realized I couldn't tolerate it anymore.
Finding out about ASD at age 58 and finding answers to my life was an "ah-ha" moment.
Everything I had wondered about myself and some things I didn't even think about all fit when
I learned about it!

 

[Gracey]

When I saw the thread title, my immediate thought was that I don't set an alarm and wake up when I want

... me too.

In my head I was already typing ‘bladder !’

Until the penny dropped,

 

[Aspychata]

Answering the first question, I've suddenly stopped going to jobs twice, realizing a few minutes before I was going to head out that I can't go again.

I've also "realized" I couldn't tolerate how I was feeling and did something stupid about it probably about 10,000 times.

But with your second question and your own anecdote, I'm thinking maybe you meant no longer able to tolerate something bad and then fixed it?

It's a open-ended question, feel free to answer in your way.

 

[Gracey]

I don’t know if it was an ‘aha !’ Moment.

It was certainly ‘a moment’
but more ‘rug pulled from under me’ type.
Knocked onto my butt, yet again.

Unlike previous experiences, the difference this time was I felt broken.
Not helpless, just broken.

Sink or swim.

Turns out I’m a pretty good swimmer, I’ve had to be.

During my search for ‘what the heck is wrong with me this time ?’
I stumbled across Aspie traits.
Then read some personal accounts of aspie women,
Then read some more,
and more ... you know how that goes.

A lot fits, equally some traits don’t.
Still haven’t ‘aha’d’

but have a reasonable explanation for patterns I appear to have kept on repeating over my lifetime to date.

 

[Aspychata]

For me there was no "aha" moment for most of my life.

At least not until I began to put it all together around the age of 55. Until then I remained a mystery even to myself, not really understanding my own sensory issues. Sounds, sight and especially my sense of smell.

I just thought "my spring was wound too tight".

It still amazes me that after so long a time I was able to piece together who and what I am.

It's amazing how far we get with this and then realise we have this thing that makes us senstive to certain things. What's interesting is how someone may use it on you to push your buttons, but you alwayshave the option of not responding

 

[Major Tom]

After my son was diagnosed, I started realizing how similar we are.

 

[onlything]

I had a terrible argument with my brother one time. It ended up really damaging our already moderately bad relationship, he got angry, I got panicked. That was my wake-up call, a moment when I realised that if I stay, I could truly fall apart. I left the city and my origin country a few weeks later and didn't speak to him or any other family members for years, not counting a few short meetings during official family gatherings. It got only a bit better a few months ago after the birth of his son. There is some truth in the saying that having children changes people. It definitely changed him. For now.

 

[wight]

3 or 4 months ago, I realized that I didn't need to worry about being killed at any given random moment.

Which may sound strange, but that was life for me in the military a lot of the time... worrying about randomly being bombed, shot at, kidnapped, or otherwise meeting the end.

It took 10 years it to dawn on me. And now I don't know how to feel about it... being alive I mean. When you spend 30 years of your life waiting to be dead, being alive is confusing.

 

[Pats]

Yes the title question, I was thinking my dog.
But, I guess, yes. I always have to have that "I'm done" moment before making the move. I'm not sure if it's because my first husband used to tell me all the time if I ever left I could not come back or if it's just how I need to do things, but I don't make the move until there's no doubt in my mind that I'm done.
I actually had warned my last husband that that's how I tend to do things, but I don't think he believed me. Once I got to that point he started trying to be nice and offering to help with bills, but I was already done and when I get to that point I can't get it back.

 

[Pats]

3 or 4 months ago, I realized that I didn't need to worry about being killed at any given random moment.

Which may sound strange, but that was life for me in the military a lot of the time... worrying about randomly being bombed, shot at, kidnapped, or otherwise meeting the end.

It took 10 years it to dawn on me. And now I don't know how to feel about it... being alive I mean. When you spend 30 years of your life waiting to be dead, being alive is confusing.

There needs to be a wow emoticon. Because, Wow! We have no idea what it's like unless we live it.

 

[Pats]

And, of course, I'm sure many of us here had an "Ah hah" moment when realizing we could be on the autism spectrum.

 

[Mia]

Did you have a 'a ha" moment, where you realised that you couldn't tolerate something anymore?

Does moving away from my abusive biological family at a young age qualify? Making my own way in the world, gave me freedom that I desperately wanted.

 

[Aspychata]

we need to remind ourselves of these moments so that we focus on change can be good

 

[Gracey]

When you spend 30 years of your life waiting to be dead, being alive is confusing.

Well done

Welcome to the next part of your life

 

[garnetflower13]

I can mention two here: One, was after meeting a man at an Adult Aspie support group, and waking up later that same week with that "a ha" moment; knowing that this man was going to be my husband.

The other was realizing that my younger sister was truly toxic, and that she had always been jealous and resentful of me. I had that moment after a restless night, and I woke to the "A HA!" when I came to that realization. It had been weeks since she had pretended to offer to help with my wedding, and then ignored all my calls, emails and messages on FB. Since my marriage, she still ignores me.