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What woke you up, what alarm went off?

wight said:
3 or 4 months ago, I realized that I didn't need to worry about being killed at any given random moment.

Which may sound strange, but that was life for me in the military a lot of the time... worrying about randomly being bombed, shot at, kidnapped, or otherwise meeting the end.

It took 10 years it to dawn on me. And now I don't know how to feel about it... being alive I mean. When you spend 30 years of your life waiting to be dead, being alive is confusing.
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Think a lot of Vets suffer because they walk around with their training and they identify with it, and can't change back to civilian clothes mindset.
 
wight said:
I appreciate the sentiment. It doesn't feel like a "well done", it feels like I'm lost in a strange dark place with no way out. There was a light, but it went out. :(
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They often do,

The light comes back on again :)

(And goes out and comes on again)
 
garnetflower13 said:
I can mention two here: One, was after meeting a man at an Adult Aspie support group, and waking up later that same week with that "a ha" moment; knowing that this man was going to be my husband.

The other was realizing that my younger sister was truly toxic, and that she had always been jealous and resentful of me. I had that moment after a restless night, and I woke to the "A HA!" when I came to that realization. It had been weeks since she had pretended to offer to help with my wedding, and then ignored all my calls, emails and messages on FB. Since my marriage, she still ignores me.
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That reminded me of another Aha moment - when I realized that my invitation to my nieces wedding was not to attend but to work. My one sister and I had gone for our nieces wedding of the oldest sisters. The day of the wedding we were asked to stop and pick up the food that had been ordered. Then when we arrive with the food we were asked to set it up, which ended up being set up everything for the reception and serve the guests. (While the wedding was going on we were running around trying to get everything set up for the reception). All that didn't bother me so much until we were finally finished working and I had gone over to greet the bride and groom. The groom said they needed a picture with her two aunts. She got huffy and said they didn't have time for more pictures, so they walked off and had their pictures taken with a few other friends before leaving. It still wasn't as bad though, as when I asked my sister if her older son was in the family pictures because he had been helping us with ice and drinks and my sister had an oops moment. Guess the bride forgot she had another brother. (And he was still young and in the house when she was growing up).
 
I've been to two awful weddings where people were rude, impolite and uncaring towards me. I kind of thought, If getting married does this to you, what will your marriage be like? :eek::confused:
 
I can say 'me too' to how I interpreted this post, to walking away from an abusive marriage, and to my late in life discovery of my place on the spectrum.
 
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