My apologies King_Oni, I cannot calculate everybody?s estimation of what a friend is and if you read further I enquire as to ?How do you actually gauge a friendship?.
I just was curious how people might define friends and/or friendship. But perhaps that question might be a bit off-topic. Mainly because that might give more insight on what to other people some have to qualify for as to be worth X.
But yeah, I understand what you mean by not having an estimate about it, can't really imagine someone having it, so perhaps I just posed a really vague question, my apologies
So, how do I gauge friendship?
I have 2 friends... one being my significant other, the other being a guy I spend some time with (and a big practial reason is cause he lives round the corner). But he's usually up for going to a club, a concert, playing a game here or there.
So, how do I gauge them? Not thinking I'm a complete buffoon cause of my quirks helps. I've lost a lot of so-called "friends" over it. At first it seemed "ok" and "cool" then it got annoying. They thought it was attention, until they realized it's a part of me.
I think there has to be a mutual interest of sorts, so you can share something. I can't really imagine having friends while actually not having something in common. The less I have in common the more vague our relationship is. Add in that there's a certain weight to some things over others that constitutes what we have in common. Having a few background interests in common does not constitute a good "friend" I think. In general I never stuck around with people from the past. We grew apart over a plethora of reasons. That was with friends as well as people who I was in a more intimate relationship with.
I don't really believe in the friends with benefits things as it's being "defined" by society. If I have a friend who can give me a good time in terms of just a quality conversation, that's enough "benefit" I get from it, but somehow that's kinda mutual I believe.
As for friends who can call you in the middle of the night... chances are they're not waking me up anyway. But no... I'm not really the person to call for favors at any time, people know that, and that's probably a "quirK' of mine. Do not disturb me @ random times. It also helps that I live rather remote (in the sense that we have no public transport @ night) and don't own a car, lol. Though, it's not that I don't care for those people/friends. I've had enough situations where I had to take the responsibilty to get a friend home cause he wasn't able to (yay for partying really hard). That doesn't bother me that much, and they know I wont get upset for that. The same goes for another friend I used to have. I spent a lot of time @ his place for a while, thus at some point we cleaned the basement and cleared over 20 bags of garbage with rotting meat and such. In general I'm reliable if it comes to helping a friend out if I get a heads up, but just don't get me started to "come now".
In a way I feel that the best friends are the ones you don't have to talk to. I rather call it the telepathic link, how "weird" it might sound. That guy around the corner I hang out with isn't upset if I don't call him for a month, and he wont be like "oh... you still alive".. he's cool with me backing off for a while, just like I am when he's like that. My girlfriend is a different deal, I don't have to tell her what I'm up to, and neither does she have to tell me... most of the time we pretty much know what the other one is doing... over a 180 mile distance without texting or anything.
In general, no I wouldn't give my life for a friend. That would need to be a really, really weird situation where that might be. Perhaps I'm just a bit more egotistical in that aspect... I'm not donating my organs either.
eople I would enjoy doing things with. Best friends: Like true family that I would do anything short of illegal for.
