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What's on your mind right now?

Wanting my own place to keep clean myself

Cleaning and tidiness - wish we had some of that around here, but I don't want to be solely responsible for getting and keeping the house clean when there are three other people living here, yet knowing that's what's going to happen - at most, the other people will stick with it for a week, then start slacking on it again
 
Trying to focus on and be grateful for what I have instead of focusing on what I don't.

If I can never live on my own, does it really matter if I can still be content? That's what I should be aiming for.
 
After decades of it, I’m finally accepting just because ur a family of origin member doesn’t mean ur not a selfish jerk. That’s where I get it, Sherlock. I’m a chip off the old blockhead.
 
Where do I start, besides the several homewors I have to do this week, less than an hour ago I drove near a motorcycle crash site. The crash happened like 3h ago and still there it was, the inert body of a person who was riding the bike...under a blue "bed sheet" waiting for the judge to arrive and police to take it to the morgue...I have never seen a dead body like that...it is just sad and shocking...
 
The mouse in my house. I first saw him climbing up my living room curtain. On his way to where?
I saw him tonight under my coffee table, approaching my beanbag foot stool. The crackers I've been eating? I should get the vacuum out tomorrow and make sure there's no crumbs in the carpet.
But I'm afraid I can't afford to be sharing space with any wild creatures. I have a lowered immune system which puts me at risk of sepsis and all those things. I don't like the mousy smell either. Or the scratching. He is silent like a shadow when he's slinking around the house but he's a noise monster when he is chewing and scratching inside the walls.
 
Where is the araneus gemmoides spider? Was she eaten by a frog or did she go off somewhere to lay her egg sac(s)? Or what?
 
What will happen to me when my parents are no longer able to assist me? Will I have to just survive until they are no longer here and then go through with my earlier plan? But I'm no longer feeling suicidal. But will I have a choice?

I hate that I have to rely on others so much. I don't want to have to be taken care of for the rest of my life... but it's a very real possibility that I might. And I can't find any way to get outside help that isn't too expensive (one place) or exclusively for the elderly (every place else in my area).

Also my mom seems to not approve of my plan to be happy with what I have. I explained to her that it doesn't mean that I'm giving up any hope of independence ever and that I am still trying, but she still did not react favorably when I mentioned it to her. I suspect she doesn't want to tell me but wants me out sooner rather than later.
 
There are visual aids to describe balanced diets that show healthy (I don't necessarily agree that they are actually healthy, it's just the best way to describe this example) proportions of different food groups. I think the same principal is likely to be applicable to the activities one spends time on.

I don't feel as though I ever manage to get a "balanced diet" of activities, especially in the area of social interaction as it's too costly on resources to ever get enough to be truly satisfied.
 
Still hung up on the same old stuff - feeling like a burden, wanting my own place, lack of available resources for assistance in independent living for me, blah, blah, blah.
 
So many young people seem to have zero ethics. Like they don't like working, they prefer the easy way out and don't care about anything.
 
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