When conversations don't go as planned

[Suzette]

I feel like I should have this figured out at my age but I don't.

Sometimes I will want to share some little quirky thing with another person, like fact I learned, an observation I made or something I thought was fun. Random stuff really.

Some times though that little thing will be somehow more important than I realized to the other person and they might give me a much bigger response than I was expecting.

Then I just feel instantly overwhelmed and panicky. This does not happen all that often, just sometimes.

For example: one time I saw a video that stated you could check your bodys iodine level by rubbing your inner arm with iodine. If you are low, your skin will abdorb the iodine and the stain will be gone within an hour. I thought "Hey, neat" and tried it out and discovered the iodine was absorbed by my skin. Cool!

But when I told someone else about this they jumped at it with a lecture about how iodine is a poison and you can get too much. I felt instantly defensive about iodine of all things! Suddenly I found myself feeling cornered and wanting to "fight back" even though the subect iodine wasn't important to me at all.

Does this happen to anyone else?

 

[Ban]

Sometimes before a conversation I have an expectation of how it will go. I think it's to protect against saying the wrong thing and then when the other person goes off script it feels like "hang on a minute, I didn't account for this"

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

I feel like I should have this figured out at my age but I don't.

Sometimes I will want to share some little quirky thing with another person, like fact I learned, an observation I made or something I thought was fun. Random stuff really.

Some times though that little thing will be somehow more important than I realized to the other person and they might give me a much bigger response than I was expecting.

Then I just feel instantly overwhelmed and panicky. This does not happen all that often, just sometimes.

For example: one time I saw a video that stated you could check your bodys iodine level by rubbing your inner arm with iodine. If you are low, your skin will abdorb the iodine and the stain will be gone within an hour. I thought "Hey, neat" and tried it out and discovered the iodine was absorbed by my skin. Cool!

But when I told someone else about this they jumped at it with a lecture about how iodine is a poison and you can get too much. I felt instantly defensive about iodine of all things! Suddenly I found myself feeling cornered and wanting to "fight back" even though the subect iodine wasn't important to me at all.

Does this happen to anyone else?

It has happened, and I usually then dive into their upset to understand if their statement is to be trusted and if not, I don't think about it anymore after correcting them.

In your example I would ask the person if they have the MSDS (Material Safety Data Sheet) and I woild point out for Iodine a lethal dose is on the order of g/kg body weight, and the trace of Iodine used in that test does not approach the more than 60 grams needed to poison a 150 lb. person, and, even if you are using a full 1 ml of tincture (not likely) it is unlikely to be greater than 500 mg of I.

 

[Ken]

I feel like I should have this figured out at my age but I don't.

Sometimes I will want to share some little quirky thing with another person, like fact I learned, an observation I made or something I thought was fun. Random stuff really.

Some times though that little thing will be somehow more important than I realized to the other person and they might give me a much bigger response than I was expecting.

Then I just feel instantly overwhelmed and panicky. This does not happen all that often, just sometimes.

For example: one time I saw a video that stated you could check your bodys iodine level by rubbing your inner arm with iodine. If you are low, your skin will abdorb the iodine and the stain will be gone within an hour. I thought "Hey, neat" and tried it out and discovered the iodine was absorbed by my skin. Cool!

But when I told someone else about this they jumped at it with a lecture about how iodine is a poison and you can get too much. I felt instantly defensive about iodine of all things! Suddenly I found myself feeling cornered and wanting to "fight back" even though the subect iodine wasn't important to me at all.

Does this happen to anyone else?

Pretty much the story of my life.

 

[Aspychata]

You did it. You helped me figure out my mom. This pretty much describes any conversations with my mom. I hold my breath and say something and then step back to see if the shitakki fan is on and if the shitakki is going to fly right back and hit me and cause me to hyperventilate. It sorta depends on her moods. And l now don't go out of my way to seek her company. This causes me to be a tab fearful in my dealings with her. She is quick to wrongly judge me.

 

[Judge]

Conversations that go as planned?

Interesting concept.

 

[Suzette]

Conversations that go as planned?

Interesting concept.

Haha, yes I did state that wrongly.

The point is, I just wanted to share a small thing. But the person I shared with wanted to debate the part I wasn't prepared to debate.

@Gerald Wilgus, I would have no way to make a counter argument. And that's rather my point. To me the subject was NOT about the safety of iodine. To me the subject was the bodies ability to absorb the iodine if needed as the test ported to confirm. See, two different subjects. Unlike you, my dear, I have not read the mds on iodine. My interests and intellectual capacity are rather more mundane.

And the point of this thread is what to do about that panicky feeling I get when someone overwhelms me? It happens when I am tired or stressed so it feels over the top. My amygdala is fully activated and I want to run away. But it is not like I can do that.

 

[Judge]

Haha, yes I did state that wrongly.

The point is, I just wanted to share a small thing. But the person I shared with wanted to debate the part I wasn't prepared to debate.

@Gerald Wilgus, I would have no way to make a counter argument. And that's rather my point. To me the subject was NOT about the safety of iodine. To me the subject was the bodies ability to absorb the iodine if needed as the test ported to confirm. See, two different subjects. Unlike you, my dear, I have not read the mds on iodine. My interests and intellectual capacity are rather more mundane.

And the point of this thread is what to do about that panicky feeling I get when someone overwhelms me? It happens when I am tired or stressed so it feels over the top. My amygdala is fully activated and I want to run away. But it is not like I can do that.

Never fear. Sometimes I can be quite cynical about my own autism. Where even the most benign circumstances can occasionally reflect a field of social land mines. A tiresome social dynamic that never truly ends for me.

 

[Binary_Bark]

Think this is why we don't talk to NT people a lot, or liked to very much.
Lots of the time we learn something new and exiting, like your example. We plan everything on what to say and what might be the replay and so forth.
Think this is also one of the many reasons most of us just stay silent. Also, to do with the thing that we have with social interactions.
I used to try to talk to some about things I know and find exciting/ interesting, only for them to either carry on talking about what ever they were talking about, or just completely ignore one.

I have given up sometime ago to try to share my “special interests”.

Oh, and by the way. Iodine was and still is being used to treat and clean wounds. It's in plenty of vegetable foods we eat. What does this defensive person think table salt consists of? Sodium-Chloride-Iodine (NaClI)

Think there are just, abrasive people whom are stuck in their beliefs and nothing not anyone or proven science will sway them.

The extra large Big MacMeal with diet coke this person eats would probably be a lot more poisonous. (Just some conjecture)

 

[Ken]

And the point of this thread is what to do about that panicky feeling I get when someone overwhelms me? It happens when I am tired or stressed so it feels over the top. My amygdala is fully activated and I want to run away. But it is not like I can do that.

It doesn't seem to matter if I'm tired or stressed. That happens to me unexpectedly almost anytime. It's always a surprise.

Over the years, I have learned that when a response is that far off, any attempt to steer it back on point is never successful. Almost always, it just gets further off. With that, I have learned to just stop. I go mute, no further conversation. Simply isn't worth it. That is very difficult as I always feel compelled to correct the confusion, but I've learned it is futile.

 

[Binary_Bark]

It doesn't seem to matter if I'm tired or stressed. That happens to me unexpectedly almost any time. It's always a surprise.

Over the years, I have learned that when a response is that far off, any attempt to steer it back on point is never successful. Almost always, it just gets further off. With that, I have learned to just stop. I go mute, no further conversation. Simply isn't worth it. That is very difficult as I always feel compelled to correct the confusion, but I've learned it is futile.

Usually when one tries to correct, things go sideways, specially with a person like that.
Also go silent and most of the time just turn around and walk away. Apparently doing as such is considered very rude

 

[Suzette]

Thanks guys! Sorry, but misery loves company and I m glad I am not alone. Haha!

Of course, I just mean that I feel better knowing my experience in this is not unique. If everyone commented that they coundn't relate I would feel much worse. That actually does help as it puts my experience on the spectrum side of normal. Rather than just freaky, crazy. I actually feel calmer.

 

[Judge]

Thanks guys! Sorry, but misery loves company and I m glad I am not alone. Haha!

Of course, I just mean that I feel better knowing my experience in this is not unique. If everyone commented that they coundn't relate I would feel much worse. That actually does help as it puts my experience on the spectrum side of normal. Rather than just freaky, crazy. I actually feel calmer.

Well done.

I mean, to me this is what this place is all about. Finding out that we are not alone over experiences that so many others cannot possibly relate to.

 

[Gerald Wilgus]

Haha, yes I did state that wrongly.

The point is, I just wanted to share a small thing. But the person I shared with wanted to debate the part I wasn't prepared to debate.

@Gerald Wilgus, I would have no way to make a counter argument. And that's rather my point. To me the subject was NOT about the safety of iodine. To me the subject was the bodies ability to absorb the iodine if needed as the test ported to confirm. See, two different subjects. Unlike you, my dear, I have not read the mds on iodine. My interests and intellectual capacity are rather more mundane.

And the point of this thread is what to do about that panicky feeling I get when someone overwhelms me? It happens when I am tired or stressed so it feels over the top. My amygdala is fully activated and I want to run away. But it is not like I can do that.

You are right, @Suzette , I think some people need to play gotcha, even if they are stupidly wrong. I just walk away from thatand don't say a word. The times I called them on that never went down well.

 

[Yeshuasdaughter]

@Suzette , you were right, Iodine is one of the most important nutrients a woman can get. It is a vital ally against graves disease, fibrocystic breasts, endometriosis, etc.

You don't want to ingest the topical, synthetic iodine that kills germs on wounds, but Lugolls Iodorol is such a lovely supplement, and yes, you can test to see if you need it by rubbing a bit on your abdomen. The synthetic, highly toxic, topical Povidine is man made, from nasty things that can harm the human body, but natural Iodine comes from kelp and seawater, and every cell in your body craves it. The type of iodine in iodized salt, and in many cheap supplements is kind of bad for you, as it's not well absorbed by the body. But if one can't afford a natural, kelp-sourced iodine supplement, it's good enough.

It sounds like your friend knows only about allopathic medicine. There's a whole natural world of holistic medicine that works in harmony with the human body, and many of the rules are in opposition with Westernized Medicine.

***************

On your original subject, I was just mentioning this very thing to another person earlier this week.

When asked a direct question, I often start stuttering and fighting through a very limited spoken word bank to try to create a sentence that makes just a little sense. But it usually makes me sound like a liar and a fool. I hate it.

When I write, ideas often flow, but speaking, especially when faced with a direct spoken question, even if they ask it in a friendly conversation, my mind goes blank, and I nearly go back to nonverbal. Sometimes I can't even speak at all.

 

[Aspychata]

Thanks guys! Sorry, but misery loves company and I m glad I am not alone. Haha!

Of course, I just mean that I feel better knowing my experience in this is not unique. If everyone commented that they coundn't relate I would feel much worse. That actually does help as it puts my experience on the spectrum side of normal. Rather than just freaky, crazy. I actually feel calmer.

This is your tribe. We will not let you go. (Scary music in the background. Lol)

 

[Suzette]

@Yeshuasdaughter
I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes I try to articulate my thoughts and what comes out of my mouth is vastly different than what is in my mind.

For those whom might not understand, it's a bit like mentally constructing the molecular formula for chondroitin sulfate (C13H21NO15S, a random ingredient on a near by package), and what comes out your mouth is something like "good jointy stuff".

 

[Judge]

This is your tribe. We will not let you go. (Scary music in the background. Lol)

"Just when she thinks she's out, we pull her back in!"

 

[ZebraAutismo]

Same I think it’s because I rehearse conversations in my own head

 

[Au Naturel]

I feel like I should have this figured out at my age but I don't.

Sometimes I will want to share some little quirky thing with another person, like fact I learned, an observation I made or something I thought was fun. Random stuff really.

Some times though that little thing will be somehow more important than I realized to the other person and they might give me a much bigger response than I was expecting.

Then I just feel instantly overwhelmed and panicky. This does not happen all that often, just sometimes.

For example: one time I saw a video that stated you could check your bodys iodine level by rubbing your inner arm with iodine. If you are low, your skin will abdorb the iodine and the stain will be gone within an hour. I thought "Hey, neat" and tried it out and discovered the iodine was absorbed by my skin. Cool!

But when I told someone else about this they jumped at it with a lecture about how iodine is a poison and you can get too much. I felt instantly defensive about iodine of all things! Suddenly I found myself feeling cornered and wanting to "fight back" even though the subect iodine wasn't important to me at all.

Does this happen to anyone else?

I suspect the person greatly overreacted and you played off that in the opposite direction. It is a common human trait to instinctively move one way when someone tries to yank them in the other.

Take anything you see on a video with a grain of iodized salt. (Do you have a link?) Huge amounts of misinformation out there. Your chances of being low on iodine is close to zero unless you completely avoid iodized salt. Topical iodine is only partially adsorbed into your system and the amount of iodine in your system has no effect on the rate. It is considered a potential alternative to taking iodine tablets in a radiological emergency. Iodine is also a common water purification additive.

Yeah, iodine can be a poison but you aren't swallowing it and you're not applying large quantities. You'd have to be extremely sensitive to it for it to irritate your skin. The sting of applying iodine to a wound as an antiseptic is really from the alcohol it is dissolved in. Betadine (povidone-iodine) is a different chemistry for delivering it that does not sting and is more effective. It is what is typically used in hospitals during surgery. Whole generations have been raised using iodine tinctures on minor owies with no ill effects.