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"Where's the bathroom?" is that an insult to AS?

Tony Ramirez

Tony Ramirez

Forever Alone Aspie
V.I.P Member
I have not gone to any social events in about 14 years but the last one I did well you can say it was a train-wreak socially.

Really and BTW this was a Christmas Christian party use to try to hang out with them because they generally understand me "thought they did another topic" but anyway as this happened to to and it is a insult?

You are just standing there near a wall or table observing everyone around you. They are chatting happy generally normal people easy talking activities. Some girl comes up to you as ask you "Where's the Bathroom" some say "Wheres the restroom" too in the states. Okay first time I say it's in the back. I think it is a stupid question were do you think it is okay brush it off.

Then it happens again another girl okay a bit irritated keep my cool say it is the back start to think really. Okay a third time it happens I feel like saying something but I don't. The forth time it happens I am about to scream at the party so what do I do I leave where I am really and sit somewhere in the corner where I won't be bugged by stupid questions.

So that was my last social event and although I want to get back into the Chruch I am afraid stupid people will do that again. Anyway has this happened to you and does it just tick you off? Thanks.
 
How could asking where the bathroom is possibly be an insult?

It's not as if they were asking you if you were the toilet or whatever.

For some reason the girls thought you were a person who was familiar with the layout
and could direct them to the facilities. Maybe the girls believed you were knowledgeable,
approachable, and helpful.

That is not an insult.
 
Yea but four times too me it seemed like it. I have horrible social skills.

Also forgot to say they did not ask anyone other guys that was also standing around the same stupid question. They just socialized with them.
 
It wasn't the same girl four times, though.

Each girl came to the conclusion that you could be trusted to
direct her to the restroom. They may have asked you because
they felt less embarrassed to ask you than asking the other guys.

I don't see that it was a stupid question.
If you needed to use the bathroom, you wouldn't think wanting
to know where it was = "stupid."
 
Still don't get less embarrassed then asking some other guy means that they really wanted to talk to those other guys. Don't buy it makes no sense. Also forgot to say it was a small house one floor and the only place the bathroom/restroom could be in the back. However there were a few rooms in the back and BTW all I said was in the back. There are no other rooms where the main party was so were do you think it is.

Also sorry coming off as sarcastic. It happens over decade ago still bothers me greatly, still feel a grudge that was the last embarrassing social event I attended. I completely left God and the Church after that. Been in a rut since. Now 41 feel like it is too late to go back and if I deal have to deal with this again.
 
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It's possible the girls viewed you as a non-threatening sort of person,
for various reasons. One of them being that you weren't involved in
the socializing.

So there was no lingering aftereffect, in their minds.
They could ask you, and then forget about you.
 
Non-threatening sort of person just standing there but this is not the first time it happened it happened I think very fuzzy memory at a school dance when I was a kid.

Don't buy it Non-threatening this was Christian party no guy there had a scary looking biker gang look. I call that bull.

BTW @tree I see you are a female. No insults too you at all.
 
By "non-threatening" I mean, they didn't see you as a potential
romantic partner. There was no threat to them, in their minds,
of pairing off with you and "where's the bathroom" having
been the major point of interaction, heretofore.

===
So what's your explanation?
You've been telling yourself some kind of story about this
event ever since it happened.

You don't believe any of the benign possibilities (that they
thought you looked like you'd know, or that you were approachable...etc)

Do you imagine they thought you were a loser?
Just a chump whose only function there was to tell people
where the toilets were?

Or what?
 
Without having been there and seen the situation, it's hard to say what actually was going on here, but based on the information given, my reaction would be exactly the same... it would seem like more than a coincidence for 4 girls to ask me where the bathroom is at a party. One gilr maybe, two is plausible, but 4? I would also begin to wonder what was going on. Even though the question may seem innocent, I would suspect that there was some sort of joke and mocking going on and feel very uncomfortable and want to leave - rapidly.

The only plausible explanation I can think of is that perhaps they thought you were the host or an organizer of the party? In that case, it is logical that they would ask you where the bathroom is.
 
Maybe I am too dumb to comprehend but what would the joke or insult be? I just don't understand how it could be a joke or insult.

Even with 4 if you were standing in an area "by a wall or table", you probably has a better vantage point than someone who is in the midst of socializing. They probably assumed you would have the best idea of wherewher bathroom was located.

Also I once went to a house that was 1 story and the only bathroom was through the master bedroom's walk-in closet. It was very odd and I never would have found it if I hadn't asked. It's true that I have never been to another similar house but my point is they probably didn't want to assume and just wander around a house unsure of where they were going.

Lastly, if you flipped a coin 4x and got heads all 4x, you might be surprised you didn't get at least 1 tails but really it's not that uncommon.
 
I'm also not sure where the insult is in this. Maybe you looked like someone who was approachable and not someone they would be embarrassed to approach about needing the loo, maybe because you weren't interacting with anyone you were easy to approach without interrupting anything, maybe they saw the first girl ask you and thought "ok that is the person to ask", maybe it was pure coincidence. If it was a private property they probably didn't want to go poking around looking for the loo, asking someone is the polite thing to do.
 
I know that for years I have said things that mortified my parents and other people and didn't even know until they told me later, I never thought just asking where the bathroom was could be so offensive even if I really don't know where it is or can't find it. Although I did once read somewhere just saying the word bathroom or even washroom like we do in Canada, or anything else that even slightly reminds them you're a human being who needs to relieve themselves is impolite, and apparently girls and women are supposed to ask where they can go "powder their nose".:confused:
 
Maybe you look like a drug dealer and they wanted some cocaine to snort in the bathroom.
I’m sure there was sinister intent, girls never need to use the restroom, that is just common knowledge.
 
My first thought was that they didn't know how to come up and start talking to you and that was all they could think to ask - possibly. And if the other guys seemed to be in a group and you seemed to be alone - you'd be the one I would come to, too. Although, I know I wouldn't ask - I'd search or I'd wait. lol
 
Me too Pats. It would take me soooo long to get up the courage to even ask!
I would try not to ask a guy though, unless he looked especially kind.
 
Pats said:
My first thought was that they didn't know how to come up and start talking to you and that was all they could think to ask - possibly. And if the other guys seemed to be in a group and you seemed to be alone - you'd be the one I would come to, too. Although, I know I wouldn't ask - I'd search or I'd wait. lol
Click to expand...
Okay but when they were done "doing there business" :D they just disappeared into the crowd.

The only plausible explanation I can think of is that perhaps they thought you were the host or an organizer of the party? In that case, it is logical that they would ask you where the bathroom is.
Click to expand...
That is no excuse I was not wearing a uniform or looked like I was wearing one.
 
And it happened over 10 years ago.

Why do you still cling to the experience?

What are you getting out of it by doing so?
 
tree said:
And it happened over 10 years ago.
Why do you still cling to the experience?
What are you getting out of it by doing so?
Click to expand...
Nothing really but my cruddy life I linger over many bad experiences since I was a kid. I can post over 10 topics my college experience. They really upset me.

Also asking on a "normal" forum or chat they would have stoned me alive I just need to get reply if this annoyed people like me.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Nothing really but my cruddy life I linger over many bad experiences since I was a kid. I can post over 10 topics my college experience. They really upset me.

Also asking on a "normal" forum or chat they would have stoned me alive I just need to get reply if this annoyed people like me.
Click to expand...
Yes, sometimes, what can seem like a normal experience for someone can hang with us our entire lives
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Nothing really but my cruddy life I linger over many bad experiences since I was a kid. I can post over 10 topics my college experience. They really upset me.

Also asking on a "normal" forum or chat they would have stoned me alive I just need to get reply if this annoyed people like me.
Click to expand...
Are you seeing a therapist? You would probably really benefit from help to let these things go.
 
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