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"Where's the bathroom?" is that an insult to AS?

NothingToSeeHere said:
Are you seeing a therapist? You would probably really benefit from help to let these things go.
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Yes since I was 19 years old at the same clinic nothing changed. Also it is one of those city run type clinics so I go once a month not good I need to go more but they are so dang busy.
 
It can be awkward to break into a group's conversation to ask a question like that.
They'd have a few people's attention at once, looking directly at them while they ask. Then there's a few people who's only social interaction with them so far was to be asked about the toilet.
It's much less daunting and embarrassing to ask someone who is on their own, especially if they look like they are just coming back from the bathroom.

I don't expect it meant anything. :)
 
I agree with others that you were probably seen as more approachable than other people. Not sure where exactly the event happened, but also maybe your body language was similar to an assistants/employees? Maybe your clothes were similar to a uniform? It happened to me quite a few times in shops or restaurants after working in the hospitality for some time - seems that I learnt to carry myself in a specific way that made people think I work there.

Although, I think it's the 'approachable looking' one. It's rude to disturb other people when they're talking, so if you were just standing around, it would be easy to come and ask.
 
Approachable looking makes more scene one don't remember if I got a haircut before going. I might have had very short shaved hair. I know I shaved before going as I usually do when going out. However my weight and sloppy dressing does not make me so approachable so I don't buy that either.

Although, I think it's the 'approachable looking' one. It's rude to disturb other people when they're talking, so if you were just standing around, it would be easy to come and ask.
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That makes much more scene.
 
Did they ask, "Where's the bathroom?" or did they something more like, "do you know where the bathroom is?"

And I know how you're thinking when you say it's a stupid question and that they could have figured it out. I used to have trouble with that kind of thinking, mostly as a teenager, where anything I could figure out I was bothered when everyone else didn't. The more I interacted with people, the more I did the same thing as them though, not knowing things that other people realized. I think it's related to theory of mind.

It wasn't a stupid question. People don't want to wander around a stranger's house. They want to go straight to the bathroom, and asking someone isn't a big deal for typical people so why not just ask? I often prefer wandering than asking, but most aren't like that.
 
My first thought was that it sounded like a thing called "benevolent ableism", where people who mistake their own condescension for niceness will pester you in a nice way that will make them feel better about themselves for including the disabled person.

On the other hand, it could just have been an NT thing of respecting people's right to their own bathrooms, a sort of "asking permission" to use someone else's.
 
Now that I remember it was do you know where the bathroom restroom is. They said thanks. I replied no problem until the 3rd and 4th girl then I said nothing as I was irritated.

Now I remember I did talk to a girl that kind of knew me but I went through that same she says I say she says I say dead air she says people should be here soon ending talking.
 
You are easily irritated.
Next time stand in the kitchen and no one will ask about the bathroom, probably. No guarantees though, people are unpredictable.
But you might get questions about coffee, soda, Cheetos and ice.
If the worst thing, the most traumatic thing to happen to you in the last 10 years is that four girls asked you for directions to the bathroom, then count your lucky stars.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
Yea but four times too me it seemed like it. I have horrible social skills.

Also forgot to say they did not ask anyone other guys that was also standing around the same stupid question. They just socialized with them.
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They may have perceived you as someone who looked like they would know their way around, or who looked like a safe person to ask.
 
When I was high enough to be asking strangers things like that, I just asked whoever was closest when I thought to ask. It could have been that! Not the high part, maybe, but the closest person thing.
 
Ylva said:
On the other hand, it could just have been an NT thing of respecting people's right to their own bathrooms, a sort of "asking permission" to use someone else's.
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That's the feeling I have if I'm at someone's house and need to use the bathroom.
I try not to use it unless absolutely necessary. But, if I have to go, I would ask someone who wasn't
chatting because I would feel I was interrupting with the question of where's the bathroom.
 
Your posts give me the sense that you were expecting one of these girls to give you more conversation. And maybe you were hoping for a date, and are super upset because you didn't get one.
Best way to develop interest is to try to find an activity they are doing that you can talk about and if they don't reciprocate well, look for someone else to speak with. If no one talks, that's your cue to leave.

If there is a girl sitting by herself, you can go up to her and try to talk to her and if she doesn't respond, move on. If you can go with a trusted friend who can advise you possibly at such an event, this could help.

Also, if you don't feel you are able to attract what you desire, consider things to help yourself out. Could you exercise more, study and become more intelligent, find hobbies and groups that like to do the same hobbies as you such as board games? Doing these type of things will help you develop as a person and will help you level with people where you aren't leveling with them now. It will help you know intuitively yourself when you need to move on, stand up for yourself if being disrespected, and help with when something positive is occurring to know how to accept it. Being able to accept rejection, platonic connections only, and a building up of dates will help you a lot too.
 
Maybe Paloftoon is onto something, and the negative emotion is caused by people "only talking to me if they're looking for the bathroom," or something like that. It would make more sense why the experience would stick for so long.
 
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Fino said:
Maybe Paloftoon is onto something, and it the negative emotion is caused by people "only talking to me if they're looking for the bathroom," or something like that. It would make more sense why the experience would stick for so long.
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Years ago I sold a T-shirt which said 'bathroom attendant' on the front.

Please double check. I've been careless about what I've bought in the past.
Buying blouses and all sorts accidentally.
 
Okay once in a waiting room I came in and I was going to sit down and a woman patted the chair to sit next do. Of course saying really nothing I was a nervous wreck. BTW this happened more recent a couple years ago.

So any NTs woman what does that mean a flirt or what?
 
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