Whether to have my son tested

[menander]

^This^

Here is a list of autism-competent resources,

Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Finding Support Resources in the USA...

Yes.

Those aren't endangered by an ASD1 diagnosis, only if his co-morbid conditions were severe enough. It is the same bar as for NTs who have mental illnesses. Without those issues, we can own firearms, get driver's licenses, vote, etc. just like everyone else.

It seems to be automatic disqualification for participation in military in the US.

The Army Is Investigating How a 19-Year-Old Diagnosed with Autism Was Recruited

Military Entrance Processing Questions Answered

 

[Crossbreed]

It seems to be automatic disqualification for participation in military in the US

It is, but not for civilian ownership of firearms, if otherwise qualified. After majority, the only way that right can be taken away is by court order. There are neuro-psychological conditions that do warrant such a court order, but basic autism [ASD1] is not one of them.

All of the ex-military here have used firearms. Many have used firearms prior to that.

I was a fair shot with a civilian .22 rifle and a military pistol. I wasn't so accurate with an M16, though. I enjoyed it to a certain extent, but I don't keep any firearms now because my ASD3 daughter is just clever enough to hurt herself (and I can't justify the expense of bullets).

 

[menander]

It is, but not for civilian ownership of firearms, if otherwise qualified. After majority, the only way that right can be taken away is by court order. There are neuro-psychological conditions that do warrant such a court order, but basic autism [ASD1] is not one of them.

Aren't some state stricter than others?

 

[Crossbreed]

Aren't some state stricter than others?

Possibly, gun hobbyist would know that better than I do. But I have never heard of any ASD1s being denied conventional, federal civil rights or privileges just for being ASD1.

If you have autism, can you own firearms or airsoft guns? - Quora
(The first answer is from an attorney.)

 

[SDRSpark]

How about going through all the research, available tests/tools and resources that many of us (older, self-identified people who were missed in childhood due to the clinical landscape at the time) have done? Then, if you and he think that he's likely autistic, you can decide together whether or not a formal diagnosis is worth pursuing.

He's 15, that's well old enough to understand this stuff and decide for himself if he wants a formal diagnosis.

I will caution that it's very difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult, so his age is an advantage here - "I'll do it later if it becomes necessary then" may not be a possibility, until things improve to the point that adult diagnosis becomes easier/reliable.

Official diagnosis will open doors for him to supports that he may need as he gets older. He may be managing well now, but as the pressures of life change and increase (for instance, he goes to college, or into the workforce) they may exceed his ability to cope and he could require support that he doesn't currently. If he does, that official diagnosis will be critical for him to access that support and those resources.

I'm in favor of getting an official diagnosis while it's possible and relatively easy to obtain. However at 15, even knowing that he is likely autistic, engaging with the autistic community and having that community support (where he can learn coping skills, skills to manage sensory issues, etc.) will put him leaps and bounds ahead of where many of us were at his age (I didn't really figure any of this out until I was in my late 20s and didn't understand most of it until I was in my 30s.)

You don't need an official diagnosis to take advantage of the community resources (information, online groups such as this one, articles) that are freely available. If you and he decide not to pursue the official diagnosis though, he may regret it later, which is something to consider. There could also be drawbacks to having that diagnosis (depending on where you live and what his career aspirations are - I don't want to attempt to get into it because every situation is different and there may be no drawbacks for him.)

It's all important to consider and he's really, really lucky to be in a position where he gets to consider it all. Many of us weren't. Kudos to you for doing the absolute best that you can (I wish more parents would reach out to the autistic community instead of blindly accepting what they're told by schools/psychologists!)

 

[Trophonius]

When I started school (5 y/o), apparently they advised my parents I should see a psychologist, but they dismissed it as quackery. Twenty years later a therapist I was seeing for other reasons (social anxiety, screwing up my public speaking) told me I might be autistic, which would fit with many thing that have happened throughout my life — unfortunately I cannot get officially tested as an adult, at least where I live.

Now I wished my parents had paid more attention to what my school teacher said. If you're diagnosed with autism early in life, there are many treatments that the child can undergo and will improve its later life substantially. I don't think the child should be aware how different he is at that stage, but the parents should definitely know and take appropriate measures.

 

[menander]

@SDRSpark makes a good point. Autism CAN be disabling for some and you cannot tell. If someone is disabled before age 22, there is often more help available , even later in life. So if you think it MAY be disabling, pay very close attention to getting early DX.

 

[wonderingmom]

I'm not sure what would be gained form a diagnosis either. Usually a diagnosis at a later age is is based on the parent wondering what is wrong with their child, or the child wondering what is wrong with themselves. Like let's get this mystery solved.

I don't see that knowing for sure he is on the spectrum will make any difference in his situation. And he might end up with a diagnosis on his record that he doesn't want there when he becomes an adult.

^This^

Here is a list of autism-competent resources,

Autlanders, Thriving Outside of the Box: Finding Support Resources in the USA...

Yes.

Those aren't endangered by an ASD1 diagnosis, only if his co-morbid conditions were severe enough. It is the same bar as for NTs who have mental illnesses. Without those issues, we can own firearms, get driver's licenses, vote, etc. just like everyone else.

Thank you for the link to Autlanders - I spent a good chunk of time today browsing around there!

 

[wonderingmom]

I'm not sure what would be gained form a diagnosis either. Usually a diagnosis at a later age is is based on the parent wondering what is wrong with their child, or the child wondering what is wrong with themselves. Like let's get this mystery solved.

Yes, this is exactly what I’d been thinking.

I'm not sure what would be gained form a diagnosis either. Usually a diagnosis at a later age is is based on the parent wondering what is wrong with their child, or the child wondering what is wrong with themselves. Like let's get this mystery solved.

Right! Yeah, since I’m already quite sure that he’s on the spectrum (testing would be more to make it official than to provide enlightenment), I’ve wanted to be sure that there is something genuinely useful and supportive on the other side before we make the leap. The responses here are giving me a much better sense of that.

 

[wonderingmom]

How about going through all the research, available tests/tools and resources that many of us (older, self-identified people who were missed in childhood due to the clinical landscape at the time) have done? Then, if you and he think that he's likely autistic, you can decide together whether or not a formal diagnosis is worth pursuing.

He's 15, that's well old enough to understand this stuff and decide for himself if he wants a formal diagnosis.

I will caution that it's very difficult to get a diagnosis as an adult, so his age is an advantage here - "I'll do it later if it becomes necessary then" may not be a possibility, until things improve to the point that adult diagnosis becomes easier/reliable.

Official diagnosis will open doors for him to supports that he may need as he gets older. He may be managing well now, but as the pressures of life change and increase (for instance, he goes to college, or into the workforce) they may exceed his ability to cope and he could require support that he doesn't currently. If he does, that official diagnosis will be critical for him to access that support and those resources.

I'm in favor of getting an official diagnosis while it's possible and relatively easy to obtain. However at 15, even knowing that he is likely autistic, engaging with the autistic community and having that community support (where he can learn coping skills, skills to manage sensory issues, etc.) will put him leaps and bounds ahead of where many of us were at his age (I didn't really figure any of this out until I was in my late 20s and didn't understand most of it until I was in my 30s.)

You don't need an official diagnosis to take advantage of the community resources (information, online groups such as this one, articles) that are freely available. If you and he decide not to pursue the official diagnosis though, he may regret it later, which is something to consider. There could also be drawbacks to having that diagnosis (depending on where you live and what his career aspirations are - I don't want to attempt to get into it because every situation is different and there may be no drawbacks for him.)

It's all important to consider and he's really, really lucky to be in a position where he gets to consider it all. Many of us weren't. Kudos to you for doing the absolute best that you can (I wish more parents would reach out to the autistic community instead of blindly accepting what they're told by schools/psychologists!)

Thank you for the kudos, that brings tears to my eyes. It’s sometimes very confusing being a parent.

I think your suggestion makes a lot of sense - I suspect that’s how we will apporoach this. I feel like I have a lot of exploring and absorbing to do - beginning with all the ideas and resources I’ve gotten right here. (Thank you!)

 

[wonderingmom]

When I started school (5 y/o), apparently they advised my parents I should see a psychologist, but they dismissed it as quackery. Twenty years later a therapist I was seeing for other reasons (social anxiety, screwing up my public speaking) told me I might be autistic, which would fit with many thing that have happened throughout my life — unfortunately I cannot get officially tested as an adult, at least where I live.

Now I wished my parents had paid more attention to what my school teacher said. If you're diagnosed with autism early in life, there are many treatments that the child can undergo and will improve its later life substantially. I don't think the child should be aware how different he is at that stage, but the parents should definitely know and take appropriate measures.

@SDRSpark makes a good point. Autism CAN be disabling for some and you cannot tell. If someone is disabled before age 22, there is often more help available , even later in life. So if you think it MAY be disabling, pay very close attention to getting early DX.

Why is it so hard to get a dx as an adult? Is it just that adults mask symptoms better so they aren’t believed, or is there more to it?

 

[SDRSpark]

Why is it so hard to get a dx as an adult? Is it just that adults mask symptoms better so they aren’t believed, or is there more to it?

There are a number of factors (which can vary widely depending on where you live.) The biggest factors I can think of at the moment are: lack of professionals willing and able to work with adults (in large part because of masking- diagnosticians who aren't experts in adult presentations of autism tend to miss us) and lack of funding (insurance may not cover adult evaluation.) Depending on where you live, there may not be anyone who does adult evaluations in your area.

 

[menander]

Why is it so hard to get a dx as an adult? Is it just that adults mask symptoms better so they aren’t believed, or is there more to it?

People care more about kids than adults, and I guess that is fair

But also, early intervention is important AND a lot of disability services are linked to prior to age 22 (meaning it is sadly quite set)

 

[Trophonius]

Why is it so hard to get a dx as an adult? Is it just that adults mask symptoms better so they aren’t believed, or is there more to it?

It is harder to make a diagnosis. A person can develop autistic traits for many reasons throughout his life, and the older the person is, the harder it is to determine whether the cause is autism or other, e.g: depression, dysfunctional family, extended bullying. Unless a person is in the "low end" of the spectrum, you don't usually get a diagnosis.

 

[Crossbreed]

Why is it so hard to get a dx as an adult? Is it just that adults mask symptoms better so they aren’t believed, or is there more to it?

Many of these services are geared toward ASD1.x+. They are easy to spot even by incompetent providers who end up pushing CBT (a.k.a. ABA).* There has been an unexplained epidemic of ASD2/3s starting with the Millennials.

ASD1 children are easy to spot, too, because they are more unconventional to raise for parents & teachers (similar to intellectually gifted children).

Once they reach majority,

• they are better at masking,
• they lack extreme co-morbid conditions, &
• they are no longer subject to parental analysis of their behaviors.

Only seasoned professionals can recognize their more subtle traits. Such are better-suited to deal with ASD2/3s, too. They know that base autism is a difference, not a defect. And they know where the base autism ends and their co-morbid conditions begin. That is, they will support its positive features while addressing its negative ones (if present). Incompetents do not acknowledge that base autism is generally positive (including organizations like Autism Speaks).

*Applied Behavioral Analysis

from our own @Autistamatic​

 

[wonderingmom]

People care more about kids than adults, and I guess that is fair

But also, early intervention is important AND a lot of disability services are linked to prior to age 22 (meaning it is sadly quite set)

Wow, that’s unfortunate.

 

[wonderingmom]

Many of these services are geared toward ASD1.x+. They are easy to spot even by incompetent providers who end up pushing CBT (a.k.a. ABA).* There has been an unexplained epidemic of ASD2/3s starting with the Millennials.

ASD1 children are easy to spot, too, because they are more unconventional to raise for parents & teachers (similar to intellectually gifted children).

Once they reach majority,

• they are better at masking,
• they lack extreme co-morbid conditions, &
• they are no longer subject to parental analysis of their behaviors.

Only seasoned professionals can recognize their more subtle traits. Such are better-suited to deal with ASD2/3s, too. They know that base autism is a difference, not a defect. And they know where the base autism ends and their co-morbid conditions begin. That is, they will support its positive features while addressing its negative ones (if present). Incompetents do not acknowledge that base autism is generally positive (including organizations like Autism Speaks).

*Applied Behavioral Analysis

from our own @Autistamatic​

It seems like without having an inside scoop, a person is very likely to end up seeing someone who has minimal experience and/or very bad ideas. That’s really frustrating. As someone coming from outside, I might easily have stumbled in a very different direction than this forum - I could easily have ended up at the Autism Speaks website and assumed that that represented the standard view. And once there I would have read about ABA and thought, I’m definitely not going to get my son diagnosed if THIS is what it leads to. Well, I’m glad I ended up here!

 

[SDRSpark]

It seems like without having an inside scoop, a person is very likely to end up seeing someone who has minimal experience and/or very bad ideas. That’s really frustrating. As someone coming from outside, I might easily have stumbled in a very different direction than this forum - I could easily have ended up at the Autism Speaks website and assumed that that represented the standard view. And once there I would have read about ABA and thought, I’m definitely not going to get my son diagnosed if THIS is what it leads to. Well, I’m glad I ended up here!

I'm really glad you ended up here too! Stick around, you can learn a lot here. Your son would be welcome here as well!!!

 

[wonderingmom]

I'm really glad you ended up here too! Stick around, you can learn a lot here. Your son would be welcome here as well!!!

Thank you - I appreciate you all!

 

[VictorR]

Hi! In your jurisdiction, is there funding for those on the spectrum? Where I currently am, there is funding available for those up to age 18, and so there's a strong incentive for those potentially on the spectrum to be assessed as soon as possible.