Why All The Love?

[pax]

Oh my god, I had never heard of this site. Hilarious reading, as the whole thing comes across as set up by someone who was burned in a past relationship. When trying to find out more about the totally legitimate sounding disorder that NT partners of people with ASD can suffer from (due entirely it seems to our lack of empathy) I was sadly only able to find one independent source. This was Wikipedia, and the page is listed for deletion because:

"The topic seems to be the recent invention of a non-notable person Maxine Aston and has never been peer reviewed. There are only 7 entries in Google, two resolve to Maxine Aston's personal webpage, two resolve to postings promoting Maxine Aston's website on a non-notable MSN group, one refers to a link to a blog, as yet unindexed, promoting Maxine Aston's website, one refers to an index of recent updates for the same, unindexed, blog, and one refers to a blog that has recently been deleted."

Who would have guessed?

This is from the heartless aspergers site:

About the author: I had a year-long relationship with a man who did not disclose his diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome. I also had a female friend with the disorder who chose not to tell me. AS cannot be hidden. Their deficits in empathy and communication became painfully apparent. Both relationships were traumatic. Had I known about AS and its effect on others in relationships, I could have avoided becoming involved with them. People with AS should disclose their diagnosis if they are aware of it, and the rest of us should have access to accurate information about the condition and how it affects others. That would enable us to avoid a lot of unnecessary pain.

O my. How did the author know the "friends" had aspergers if she was never told?Did the author disclose to her friends that she was an immature judgemental ***** with her head stuck up her arse? Hmm. Maybe the friends worked it out, and realised that was a "friendship" that wasn't worth keeping.

I won't get started on Maxine Aston and "Cassandra syndrome". I'd be here for the next week.

 

[pax]

The line""He's just not that into you" springs to mind.

 

[Darthsuhtek]

This is from the heartless aspergers site:

About the author: I had a year-long relationship with a man who did not disclose his diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome. I also had a female friend with the disorder who chose not to tell me. AS cannot be hidden. Their deficits in empathy and communication became painfully apparent. Both relationships were traumatic. Had I known about AS and its effect on others in relationships, I could have avoided becoming involved with them. People with AS should disclose their diagnosis if they are aware of it, and the rest of us should have access to accurate information about the condition and how it affects others. That would enable us to avoid a lot of unnecessary pain.

O my. How did the author know the "friends" had aspergers if she was never told?Did the author disclose to her friends that she was an immature judgemental ***** with her head stuck up her arse? Hmm. Maybe the friends worked it out, and realised that was a "friendship" that wasn't worth keeping.

I won't get started on Maxine Aston and "Cassandra syndrome". I'd be here for the next week.

Could you give me a TL;DR on Maxine Aston?

 

[Mathalamus]

I'm truly the worst person you could ever meet in real-life. I make jokes about tragedies such as shootings. I throw massive temper tantrums that could count in the abusive territory. I try to manipulate people. I've recently taken up victim-blaming; ESPECIALLY if the person in question is on the Autism spectrum. Yes, I even often hate what I am.

So Why do people like me? Just because I don't go through with what I threaten doesn't mean I'm 'good inside.' My old teachers thought I was charming and still love me. I feel like I should tell them their little darling is an awful human being.
Not to mention my Mom and Aunt. They see good in me. I don't.

I'm not good...I'm not nice...I'm...

you sound more or less exactly like me when i was 15. and i wasn't nearly as well off as you were. to make it short, i only got rid of the last major aspects of Evil Matthew (manipulation) in 2015. for pragmatic reasons.

you can probably claim that i never became nicer, just more neutral.

i imagine they see the good in you precisely because you are all talk when it comes to evil jokes and the like. i imagine people actually want you to be a better person, me included.

you are young. there are plenty of room for you to grow up, in time. i do hope youd be faster than i am, though.

 

[pax]

Could you give me a TL;DR on Maxine Aston?

Google is your friend.

 

[Professori]

I'm truly the worst person you could ever meet in real-life. I make jokes about tragedies such as shootings. I throw massive temper tantrums that could count in the abusive territory. I try to manipulate people. I've recently taken up victim-blaming; ESPECIALLY if the person in question is on the Autism spectrum. Yes, I even often hate what I am.

So Why do people like me? Just because I don't go through with what I threaten doesn't mean I'm 'good inside.' My old teachers thought I was charming and still love me. I feel like I should tell them their little darling is an awful human being.
Not to mention my Mom and Aunt. They see good in me. I don't.

I'm not good...I'm not nice...I'm...

Not sure how to read your post. Do you enjoy 'not being nice' or being a horrible person? Don't you want people to like you?

Perhaps those who you say 'like' you are just patronizing you - don't really like you, but recognize that there is something wrong with you, and so hang around.

 

[Mathalamus]

Perhaps those who you say 'like' you are just patronizing you - don't really like you, but recognize that there is something wrong with you, and so hang around.

that's a little inaccurate. not everyone is like that, you know?

 

[Professori]

that's a little inaccurate. not everyone is like that, you know?

No, I'm not saying they are. I was just making a suggestion as a result of the question asked.

However, I am pretty sure that some people do look at us like that.

 

[Koowie]

I'm truly the worst person you could ever meet in real-life. I make jokes about tragedies such as shootings. I throw massive temper tantrums that could count in the abusive territory. I try to manipulate people. I've recently taken up victim-blaming; ESPECIALLY if the person in question is on the Autism spectrum. Yes, I even often hate what I am.

So Why do people like me? Just because I don't go through with what I threaten doesn't mean I'm 'good inside.' My old teachers thought I was charming and still love me. I feel like I should tell them their little darling is an awful human being.
Not to mention my Mom and Aunt. They see good in me. I don't.

I'm not good...I'm not nice...I'm...

I dunno. I doubt you're as bad as you say you are, but from my limited experience (especially with young people) you can get away with being a jerk as long as you are funny. Maybe you're clever enough to get away with it. I had more friends back when I was more of a smart-ass. I think young people especially value that kind of thing more than genuine character or goodwill when it comes to who they admire. Maybe I'm wrong. I probably am.

 

[Darthsuhtek]

Google is your friend.

I hope you don't write that on exams.

 

[paloftoon]

I'm truly the worst person you could ever meet in real-life. I make jokes about tragedies such as shootings. I throw massive temper tantrums that could count in the abusive territory. I try to manipulate people. I've recently taken up victim-blaming; ESPECIALLY if the person in question is on the Autism spectrum. Yes, I even often hate what I am.

So Why do people like me? Just because I don't go through with what I threaten doesn't mean I'm 'good inside.' My old teachers thought I was charming and still love me. I feel like I should tell them their little darling is an awful human being.
Not to mention my Mom and Aunt. They see good in me. I don't.

I'm not good...I'm not nice...I'm...

Something about all of this sounds unnecessarily hedonistic and toxic to say the least. I'm glad you are willing to share these thoughts with us, but I would highly recommend therapy to help you progress as an individual. I'm guessing the people around you think you do not know what you are doing because maybe you play the role of being much lower functioning than you really are. If this is the case, do you do this because maybe your parents wanted to get their "money's worth" from your ability to obtain services so maximize the quality of attention, resources, and services that you do get? If so, this is a dangerous game to play. You aren't simply "getting your money's worth", but this kind of behavior can affect your psyche and morals, and not in a good way. You would do best to work on improving yourself as a person as you seem to fully recognize the faculties of everything involved in your actions.

I can say to help yourself, start with the "usuals." Say one positive thing about yourself daily, preferably looking yourself in the mirror if you can. Drink plenty of water. Stretch or do yoga to relieve stress. If you can, maybe concentrate on saying one positive thing to someone a day. Once that becomes easy, start to increase that number until it becomes natural. I might need to follow my own advice more too, but at a faster pace, lol. It does help. And continuing to talk about your feelings to others if you have that as an option, and trying to change incorrect behaviors as you go along.

 

[pax]

I hope you don't write that on exams.

I hope you don't expect everyone to do your research and submit your exams for you. Seriously, you're on a ### computer. Look it up.

 

[Darthsuhtek]

I hope you don't expect everyone to do your research and submit your exams for you. Seriously, you're on a ### computer. Look it up.

Google why is this guy such a tool? oopps sorry mt.

 

[Judge]

So Why do people like me? Just because I don't go through with what I threaten doesn't mean I'm 'good inside.' My old teachers thought I was charming and still love me. I feel like I should tell them their little darling is an awful human being.
Not to mention my Mom and Aunt. They see good in me. I don't.

I'm not good...I'm not nice...I'm...

Acting badly is not quite the same as perpetrating bad acts. At your age it sounds like older people in your orbit simply cut you more slack than you expect- or deserve. People like teachers, mother and aunt are all adults who likely prefer to see you in the best light, as it reflects well on them. Whether it's true or not. And then there's unconditional love, which simply may not have been tested quite to the brink- just yet.

If you were a juvenile delinquent with a criminal record, they'd probably not be so optimistic about you nor give you every benefit of the doubt. Still others may pity you based on their assessment (accurate or not) of your behavior. I suspect your age has much to do with it. As you get older, expect such social dynamics to change.

And be mindful that in adult life, no one is likely to feel as compelled to like you for any particular reason at all. Where you live on the premise that each day "Sometimes you're the bug, sometimes you're windshield".