Why am I so forgetful.

[Fridgemagnetman]

If you think that's funny, you should see the face I made when I walked through the garage.

When was the last time you saw your wife?

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

When was the last time you saw your wife?

Funny x5. This morning, actually.

 

[LucyPurrs]

See it works!

 

[Gracey]

If I've forgotten something, then I'm less likely to view it as a problem because I've forgotten about it.

My OCD helps me to remember routines and personal items needed to leave the house (no need for technology, my brain is wired for ritual,routine and control in some areas)


My husband is the equivalent of Google reminders or electronic, bleeping things.
He makes a noise to inform me of some abstract notion.
A birthday or appointment in the near future.

 

[Judge]

If I've forgotten something, then I'm less likely to view it as a problem because I've forgotten about it.

My OCD helps me to remember routines and personal items needed to leave the house (no need for technology, my brain is wired for ritual,routine and control in some areas)


My husband is the equivalent of Google reminders or electronic, bleeping things.
He makes a noise to inform me of some abstract notion.
A birthday or appointment in the near future.

Yeah. Point taken. OCD never forgets....and seems to have a mind of its own.

 

[Gracey]

Yeah. Point taken. OCD never forgets....and seems to have a mind of its own.

Probably amongst the rare occasions I can put a positive spin on a mostly dibilitating condition

 

[Judge]

Probably amongst the rare occasions I can put a positive spin on a mostly dibilitating condition

I know exactly what you mean.

I just wish occasionally I could forget about whether or not I need to check locked doors.

 

[Gracey]

x2

I open and close it again, then dead lock it.

Once I hear the dead lock clunking into position, all's well with the universe.

 

[Judge]

x2

I open and close it again, then dead lock it.

Once I hear the dead lock clunking into position, all's well with the universe.

I can't rationalize my OCD in such a manner. Maddening when I KNOW I checked my front door...yet I'm compelled to do it again. And again. Usually at least four times before I go to bed.

Yet with my new car, it automatically locks with two beeps. I'm good as long as I hear the second beep.

Makes no sense...I know.

 

[LucyPurrs]

I can't rationalize my OCD in such a manner. Maddening when I KNOW I checked my front door...yet I'm compelled to do it again. And again. Usually at least four times before I go to bed.

Yet with my new car, it automatically locks with two beeps. I'm good as long as I hear the second beep.

Makes no sense...I know.

Maybe you can get a similar lock for your front door? One that beeps I mean. I wonder if they make something like that for the blind..........

 

[Gracey]

I can't rationalize my OCD in such a manner. Maddening when I KNOW I checked my front door...yet I'm compelled to do it again. And again. Usually at least four times before I go to bed.

Yet with my new car, it automatically locks with two beeps. I'm good as long as I hear the second beep.

Makes no sense...I know.

I disagree Mr Judge.
Makes perfect sense to me.

Both my own and your being reassured by a noise has got me curious.
My clunking deadlock, your beeping car.

Is hearing something more memorable than the physical action?
You hear your car beep, you're reassured it's locked.
I hear my deadlock, I'm reasured my door is locked.

The 'noise' is confirmation.
Silence has us doubting ourselves, not trusting memory.

So what is it about hearing that is more believable or memorable than what our eyes see?

Do you know what I mean?

 

[Gracey]

Maybe you can get a similar lock for your front door? One that beeps I mean. I wonder if they make something like that for the blind..........

And if they don't you've just found a niche in the market
The Judge Gracey Purrs confirmation system

 

[Judge]

Interesting. Though in the case of my lock it's makes a very distinct noise when I turn it. And just seeing it at a "ten o'clock" position tells me it's locked. But neither the sound of it locking or the visual queue of it in a locked position seems to impact my mind in having to recheck it. The "compulsion" aspect of it all.

I get the proper queue from my car, but not my front door.

Where my brain rationalizes it, yet my OCD does not.

 

[LucyPurrs]

Interesting. Though in the case of my lock it's makes a very distinct noise when I turn it. And just seeing it at a "ten o'clock" position tells me it's locked. But neither the sound of it locking or the visual queue of it in a locked position seems to impact my mind in having to recheck it. The "compulsion" aspect of it all.

I get the proper queue from my car, but not my front door.

Where my brain rationalizes it, yet my OCD does not.

Read the book "Brainlock" by Jeffrey Schwartz, M.D. You can actually change your brain chemistry about this if you follow his method. If you want to.

 

[Dwoops]

Thanks for all the replies, it is cool to hear your stories. As for my situation, I was blessed and it went really smoothly. I went to the housing people and they helped me out. Note that today was the contract binding date, basically locking everyone in, so I barely got that luckily. I don't remember if i mentioned this in the original post, but I wanted to get a single-room, for reasons you all can probably guess/relate too. When I realized I was late to sign up for housing I thought I was done for. I am so lucky that this morning was the day that the university chose their RA's for next year. This freed up one single-room, in the building I wanted (there are like 8+ residential halls) because the RA's get a special room instead of the one they sign up for. I can't believe I was lucky enough to have this happen, if I had attempted this any time prior to today I wouldn't have gotten a single-room.
(Only downside is I will have to climb 4 flights of stairs to go anywhere, lol) <-'Tis a joke
To those who wanted some sort of beep for their deadlocks, after I saw that post I thought of 3 separate designs in less than 5 minutes. It wouldn't really be that hard to make a DIY version of it.
To the person who checks if the lock is in the 10 o'clock position, what happens if the lock is on the other side of the door and the 2 o'clock means locked? I'm curious.

 

[Judge]

To the person who checks if the lock is in the 10 o'clock position, what happens if the lock is on the other side of the door and the 2 o'clock means locked? I'm curious.

At three o'clock it means the door is unlocked. Where the dead bolt is completely retracted into the door. On rare occasion I've managed to leave it unlocked in the day time just shortly after returning home, but I've never left it unlocked to the point of when I go to bed.

 

[fuðflogi]

I am very forgetful, too, and there's only one thing that helps me overcome it: Do It Now.

people dont get that, that if its to be done its best to just do and not risk forgetting something important, makes reaching scheduled appointments difficult at times.

 

[grommet]

I am the same way.

Once I forgot to pay my phone bill for 3 months straight and didn't realize I had forgotten even a single month. I only became aware of how long it had been when my phone suddenly didn't work because my service had been cut of.....actually I didn't even realize it then, it was only when I got in touch with them to find out what was going on and they informed me I was 3 months behind on my bills. I paid them all right then, all was fixed...but I was similarly shocked and could not understand how I could have forgotten something so important -- and for so long/so many times.

I now pay virtually all of my bills automatically so this doesn't happen.

If you can (and think it might be useful) maybe set yourself multiple reminders for important things, leading up to them. If you are worried you will start to tune them out, make some of them into alarms on your phone set for irregular frequencies (or increasing frequency as the time/date draws closer) and with different wording or a different tone -- or for written/picture/object reminders, write them differently (different colors or pictures, different sized text, different location on the page, etc.) in a calendar or planner, or move the sticky note or object a little bit each time, or to a different place entirely -- this is so that your brain views the reminders as something more novel and worthy of attending to (as opposed to something you've seen/heard every day in the same place/at the same time, and can therefore not really pay attention to). .

What happened to you is exactly what happened to me. I got a red notice from the utility company saying I had not paid for three months. I was very upset because I am honest and always pay. I spoke to a man on the phone, telling him my record should show that I never missed a payment in the past and that I was autistic and made a mistake. He was very nice and understanding. I paid and fixed the situation. At the time automatic payment wasn't available. Now I use it on every bill. I need to or I would have the problem again.

On your suggestions for reminders, I have tried all those things and they don't help me. One day I had notes on the walls, a reminder email, the alarm on my watch and my appointment on my wall calendar and I still forgot. I wasn't able to notice the notes after a while and after each reminder alarm I would remember then right after forget again and be surprised by the next one. Five times that day I forgot I had an appointment. It is a serious problem. I have found no solution, it is a handicap I live with.

 

[Kathos]

I think aspies tend to hyper focus and can forget the world exists along with all of its mundane chores. I had to shift my hyper focus from my interests into getting organized and spent a lot of time working out to-do list strategies, setting goals and deadlines. Deadlines for everything on the to-do list helps.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

If you haven't always been that forgetful, it's probably that you've had a lot on your plate recently, which is more than your brain can cope with, so something had to go. Think about it. In the last year or so, you've moved house, leaving your family, friends, school and other familiar things behind, to take on something new and strange - a new town, new accommodation, new surroundings, new teachers, different expectations, more responsibilities, need I go on? That is a lot for any young person to take on, never mind somebody with autism. You've had to be sociable, learn a new set of rules, get to know new people, study and pass exams. Is it any wonder your alternative brain is finding it a strain? It is a known fact that if you manage to overcome or do something about one symptom of autism, another one takes its place or gets worse, so it is a balancing act; sometimes, you have to make decisions, basing them on which is the lesser of two evils. The suggestions made above by others are worth considering, but don't beat yourself up about this. If any of your tutors are aware of your condition, maybe you could enlist some help and support from them.