Why ask a complete stranger how they're doing? Just me?

[Crossbreed]

...and kind of you to ask.
Me: That wasn't kindness! I'd never ask such a question just to be polite. Just invested in his story now.

Even though s/he said "kind of you to ask," s/he meant "it was kind that you cared enough to follow the story."

1. Many colloquial phrases leave out key words, because they are assumed.
2. Most people learned about his/her "kid's" thesis through (I assume) small talk. They weren't expected to retain that information over the long-term. It was a pleasant surprise that you did. (That is what s/he considered to be "kind.")

 

[Au Naturel]

"How are you?" < "How do you do?" is very close to a rhetorical question and is interchangeable with "Hello," with its key intent being
"I acknowledge you."

This is most clearly seen in its derivative, "Howdy."

"Fine. How are you?" or "Fine, thank you," are scripted responses intended to convey "Thank you for acknowledging me; I acknowledge you, too."

(FYI, Alexander Graham Bell wanted to use "Ahoy" as the standard telephone greeting, ☎ but Thomas Edison's "Hello" won out.)

Where I lived in LA for a while, the common pleasantry among men was, "How's it hangin'?" Not meant literally.

 

[Crossbreed]

Where I lived in LA for a while, the common pleasantry among men was, "How's it hangin'?" Not meant literally.

That was a joke in Liar, Liar (1997).

 

[Joshua the Writer]

Where I lived in LA for a while, the common pleasantry among men was, "How's it hangin'?" Not meant literally.

And in South Carolina, along with other Southern states, it's "Hello, y'all." Or "Hello, all y'all" if there is a lot of y'all.

 

[Soleil]

Where I lived in LA for a while, the common pleasantry among men was, "How's it hangin'?" Not meant literally.

I have never understood this phrase. Like, I understand what it means, but why does it mean "what is going on?"?

Saying "something is up" means "something is happening", so asking "what's up?" means "what's happening?" So where does "hanging" come into play? How does one respond to this? "Oh, it's hanging well!" is not a thing anyone has ever said...

 

[Owl]

I don't mind the rhetorical social ritual aspect of "how are you" "fine" type exchanges though I'm no good at initiating them and have to remind myself to mirror them back when people use them on me. What I object to is people refusing to accept "fine" as a reply and insisting on getting a deeper reply. I once had someone do that and I couldn't think of anything to say back other than an honest "I don't know" which the person tried to pressure their way past and then assumed I was trying to say I was doing badly when really I was pissed at their trying to pry for some kind of profound answer to a question I didn't know the answer to.

 

[tree]

 

[Autistic Yoda]

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@tree, that's a cool cartoon. People openly speaking their negative thoughts in such a manner wouldn't be ideal either. But there must be a middle ground between wearing such negativity on one's sleeve (too honest), and pretending to care about a stranger's day (too insincere).

 

[GrownupGirl]

I don't see why it's such a big deal except for when I am feeling really bad or sick. Then I wish I could say the truth. Especially if a doctor asks, "How are *we* doing today?", and then I could answer "Well I don't know about *you*, but *I* feel like garbage right now."