Why do NT people enjoy playing seemingly boring and childish group activities?

[Priti1968]

So nice to see another medical professional here! Internal medicine is awesome I'm in my final year as an intern, getting my medical license this fall.

Congratulations!! It sure was tough but if it's your passion then time goes by quickly. Hugs my fellow MD. Are you planning on any specialty in the future?

 

[Bolletje]

Congratulations!! It sure was tough but if it's your passion then time goes by quickly. Hugs my fellow MD. Are you planning on any specialty in the future?

I'm most likely going into radiology, thus reinforcing the stereotype of all radiologists being on the spectrum

 

[Ambi]

Hi everyone I am not on the spectrum but I am dating a great man with Asberger's. I can tell you that I enjoy silly games because they are fun. I personally do whatever I want. I love doing fun things and usually people thing I'm a bit strange. I'm 49 and if I'm at a park with my young nephews you will find me running around or on the monkey bars. Ice breakers get people to relax. Some people are guarded or have anxiety and it helps them interact. I never needed those myself but heck they are fun. By the way I'm an internal Medicine doctor and can be professional and discuss cases with others too. Being an adult is being free to be yourself without caring who is looking or judging you. Have a beautiful day my beautiful people.

That is so interesting! For me the ice breakers have the opposite effect - instead of helping me relax, they make me far more anxious! I worked at a company where every two weeks we had to have a group meeting, and it always started with an ice breaker - people were asked some kind of "deep" question, but they always answered in some fake way - in my opinion fake, but this thread made me realize it was just banter - the questions weren't serious, they were banter, and they answers weren't serious they were banter. But I can't come up with fake answers (well, now that I understand better the purpose, I could I guess), and I would get frustrated as to why I had to answer such personal questions in public, and why everyone else seemed so immature and shallow. Example: they asked if we could spend 1 week with anyone we wanted, who would it be and why. People answered silly stuff like "Batman". I felt totally invaded, but was only focused on the truth - so for my turn, I said, "my mother. Because she is dead." No one got mad or anything, but it seemed like a strange thing to them for me to say, I guess. I don't know - I guess I didn't realize.....I thought the point was for us to get to know each other (even though I didn't want to), so I was being honest - and I was confused why people would say such silly things, we couldn't get to know them that way. So what they really mean is, the point of the exercise wasn't to actually get to know people - it was to set the social tone for enabling us to converse in a relaxed way, and maybe later on from that point forward we could feel comfortable enough to actually get to know each other. Sigh!

 

[Priti1968]

Wait, they enjoy it? You know if you met me yrs ago I was the one playing with ants and caterpillars. I had no friends except for one when I started 2nd grade and she died. I was super smart and bullied for it. Craziness in a catholic school no less. Today I am friendly and an anti- bullying queen. I go out and make sure everyone is having a nice time. This is how I've met people who are on the spectrum. Sometimes when I go to social events I do my own social circle because a lot of dumb games entail alcohol and I don't need any to relax ever. I've met nice people along the way. Yes it isn't for everyone and a good host/hostess should vary the stuff so everyone is relaxed not just those willing to participate. Some NTs are restricted and I make it my point to tell them so too. Hugs from Brooklyn.

I always thought they were just as uncomfortable as me. Now I will never be able to perform one of those awkward things again.

Maybe this is also childhood conditioning. NTs spend their early childhoods being included and pretend playing and not being made to feel bad for being themselves, so naturally they associate it with feeling good, I guess.

 

[Priti1968]

That is so interesting! For me the ice breakers have the opposite effect - instead of helping me relax, they make me far more anxious! I worked at a company where every two weeks we had to have a group meeting, and it always started with an ice breaker - people were asked some kind of "deep" question, but they always answered in some fake way - in my opinion fake, but this thread made me realize it was just banter - the questions weren't serious, they were banter, and they answers weren't serious they were banter. But I can't come up with fake answers (well, now that I understand better the purpose, I could I guess), and I would get frustrated as to why I had to answer such personal questions in public, and why everyone else seemed so immature and shallow. Example: they asked if we could spend 1 week with anyone we wanted, who would it be and why. People answered silly stuff like "Batman". I felt totally invaded, but was only focused on the truth - so for my turn, I said, "my mother. Because she is dead." No one got mad or anything, but it seemed like a strange thing to them for me to say, I guess. I don't know - I guess I didn't realize.....I thought the point was for us to get to know each other (even though I didn't want to), so I was being honest - and I was confused why people would say such silly things, we couldn't get to know them that way. So what they really mean is, the point of the exercise wasn't to actually get to know people - it was to set the social tone for enabling us to converse in a relaxed way, and maybe later on from that point forward we could feel comfortable enough to actually get to know each other. Sigh!

Your answer brought tears to my eyes just now. You are a wonderful person. Most NTs are very closed in and they mask it with stupid jokes and light convos. In my opinion I am with you there. Sadly there are a lot of fake people out there so when you meet someone real you make them your friend. Ps I am not on the spectrum but sadly I work with a lot of idiots too. Hugs from Brooklyn.

 

[Ambi]

Your answer brought tears to my eyes just now. You are a wonderful person. Most NTs are very closed in and they mask it with stupid jokes and light convos. In my opinion I am with you there. Sadly there are a lot of fake people out there so when you meet someone real you make them your friend. Ps I am not on the spectrum but sadly I work with a lot of idiots too. Hugs from Brooklyn.

Thank you, Priti, that was so sweet!

 

[Laurizzle]

'Mature' and 'childish' are one of the many social constructs society has taught you. I do not care for ice breaking games myself, but I also don't call people names for enjoying them. In some settings it can have it's purpose. I'm okay with seeing people laughing and having fun at a seemingly pointless game, even if I don't understand why it's fun to them.

Everyone has different interests or ways of interacting with society, and if you don't like participating in it you either suck it up, do something to change the situation, make your own social circles, or walk away. Not everyone is going to give you special treatment just because you aren't NT or think you're more mature then others.

 

[Priti1968]

Thank you, Priti, that was so sweet!

You are the sweet one. Have a beautiful day.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Wait, they enjoy it?

I always thought they were just as uncomfortable as me. Now I will never be able to perform one of those awkward things again.

Maybe this is also childhood conditioning. NTs spend their early childhoods being included and pretend playing and not being made to feel bad for being themselves, so naturally they associate it with feeling good, I guess.

Obviously they don't all enjoy it, there are plenty of people who find such games annoying, awkward or tiresome, not just aspies. Personally I love a chance to be silly and have some 'childish' fun, but several of my old NT friends utterly hate such things and can't get past feeling intensely awkward at the situation. They just join in because they acknowledge that it is a social obligation.

 

[deedledee90]

I HATE those stupid games. It's hard enough for me to be out there in a group setting, and now you want me to embarrass myself?! It's humiliating and definitely does NOT reveal my true colors. I feel like the group enthusiasm can be really fake too.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I HATE those stupid games. It's hard enough for me to be out there in a group setting, and now you want me to embarrass myself?! It's humiliating and definitely does NOT reveal my true colors. I feel like the group enthusiasm can be really fake too.

You've set something good stupid up so that I have to answer questions.
I don't want to answer any of your questions, it's none of your business.

That's more my thoughts on it. Perhaps that I will try massively to be honest if anyone asks me anything ,which is difficult when you don't know how I feel about it and especially I'm equally reluctant to be honest as I know what happens when you are.
Humiliation indeed.

So I move more to.... cast not your pearls before swine.

Although, from the other thread, if people could read my thought bubbles Their jaws may drop

 

[toothless]

luckily the social places i inhabit are all based for intellectually disabled people and theres no ice breaker crap with us,its chill with us quietly or chat-which ever you want,i tend to chill on my own in my own world with other people doing that besides me,thats my interaction quota for the week [or month preferred].

 

[Ylva]

In the past couple of days I have watched two period pieces: The Man in the Iron Mask and Pride and Prejudice.

It looks like the old version of this is chasing a piglet.

 

[Samantha mcbay]

Agreed not only are they childish but just plain awkward and uncomfortable. I made the mistake of going to a meeting I was invited to and they were playing truth or dare. Stupidist game I've heard of and also a great way to chase away the introverts. There were so many people and I spent the whole evening wanting to just leave. I wanted so bad to just to home and cry but I couldn't because that would draw attention and questions about why I wanted to leave. I just wanted to leave quietly but my Kids were with me as always and they love being in the middle everything so I couldn't leave without drawing attention so I just tried to stay out of the way and sorta just hid in the doorway of the other room until I could finally go home. I don't like group meetings. I can enjoy board games with a few people but not games where everyone is bouncing around and saying silly things like children. It makes very little sense to me, and I like things that have clear rules and make sense. Where I can understand what is expected of me and what is going to happen.

 

[Riley]

I'm gonna wax lyrical with the words of Jeff Bennett in response to your posing of the question 'shouldn't grown-ups be more mature?' and what they should discuss:

• "But why would you want to? Where's the fun in that?!"

Quick disclaimer: I am 16 years old. I may not be very qualified in this matter. But I will give you my opinion.

I honestly believe grown-up should act a certain way. But MY definition is grown-*** people should show more decorum and rationality than a 16-year old aspie. Contrary to the message spewed out by cartoons, adulthood does not have to be a joyless ride to Death. Nor do you gotta be serious all the time. There will come a time where you must put away childish things. HOWEVER, that does NOT mean you must forgo them completely. As long as you understand you have responsibilities, childish pleasures are alright to have.

Some people just like playing silly games. And some people find mere conversation boring.

Another quote to answer your questions:

• "Maybe it was just you, all the time!"

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

Fairly certain everyone hates them, they are just playing along because that's what is required of them. Social Protocol is weird.

 

[Ylva]

Some people just like playing silly games. And some people find mere conversation boring.

Sure. But they make everyone do it.

 

[NCC]

Where I work the fitting in is talking about others behind their back or sports. There's a group of people who just love this, they're more like braying mules than anything. Since I don't care to talk about others and I really don't like sports anymore, there's not much to talk about with the herd. There's one guy I talk politics with but that's it. Which, if fine most of the time.


I have my own corner where I work, far away from everyone. Which is nice.