Why do some people do this?

[Judge]

It's annoying when some people do it generally too, for example fake coughing in a library can put you off, you could be sending an important email to, or be studying!

I've seen- and heard that as well. Worse when you consider their ire may be based on someone else talking. So they go on to make noise themselves. Dumb, but it happens.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

People are social beings need to recognize each other as part of the group.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I'm in a public library, a member of staff when I asked for a time extension using a PC, asked half an hour or an hour, I wanted a hour but because I was asked this question I ended-up answering half an hour. This confused me as the staff don't usually mind letting members of the public have unlimited time when only a few PCs are in use, (there are three people on pcs including myself) and someone who has been using a pc longer than me.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I was in a bar and someone asked me if I ordered, I nodded but then he asked me again, when he saw a staff member come over.

 

[Owliet]

I was in a bar and someone asked me if I ordered, I nodded but then he asked me again, when he saw a staff member come over.

I guess that is checking up if you have ordered or something like being polite.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

In the same bar, two people sit together to my left there are plenty of seats but one of them chooses a seat then proceeds to stare at me, I move to another part of the room and he does it again. I would love the bar staff to ban him for a period of time for this, in my book this is harassment, if it occurred in a Scottish train staring from this photo you will see, but why is it allowed in a bar

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I am happy with myself though. I had fruit juice and not alcohol. Recently I have not drank at all and I don't think I will or unless it's maybe with a friend or friends but that wouldn't be drinking on my own

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Niether my wife or i are big drinkers. After all bars makes money on drinkers for years, I would order one drink nurse it for hours. My wife was allergic to alcohol, She likes wine and has built up a bit of a tolerance.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I didn't read the whole poster. It says sexual harrasment. Ive never had sexual harrasment staring, but general staring yes.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I guess I"M showing my age gawking? is sexual harassment.

 

[SusanLR]

Isn't that what most men and women go to a bar for?
To see if they see something they like and throw them a line?

They call them Meet and Greet lounges here.
I've never been to one, but they are always crowded.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

saw this in my latest issue of scientific American.

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

In a bar if someone puts on songs they can be skipped by staff even if the customer pays for them or other customers can say they disapprove or mock the choices. And sometimes if a customer wears earphones customers can seem offended when no jukebox songs are playing, I don't understand

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

This is in general too not just in a bar, some people can be wolves in sheep clothing and try and mock people some people do it blatantly, it's cowardly and they are liars who pretend they are good people. Not just if they sense a person has a condition ie autism.
Also in a bar another customer accused someone of trying to avoid electricity costs by asking to charge their phone while they have their drink. Someone could have been out all day ie walking, meeting a friend, the library and their battery is low and normally they wouldn't ask

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Sometimes I rant without really meaning it.
But in a live music bar it's keeping a balance of being on my own and interacting

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

I have started swim lessons through the council. I'm surprised and disappointed that I wasn't advised about eating and drinking before

 

[Nitro]

I have started swim lessons through the council. I'm surprised and disappointed that I wasn't advised about eating and drinking before

https://www.goodrx.com/well-being/diet-nutrition/can-swim-after-eating

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Yeah, swimming now I don't actually mind.

 

[autism-and-autotune]

I don’t look for acknowledgment from strangers in bars, but sometimes I like to strike up a conversation with someone I don’t know, just for fun.

I wish I could do this...sometimes :/

 

[Mr. Stevens]

I wish I could do this...sometimes :/

I don't want to project onto other people here, but I wonder if this is really so hard for us. There are times I've approached people in public, or been able to joke with them, and had no problem. I was also recharged and not in a highly stimulating environment. Even with Allistic people this was easy, in small doses.

But, if we're interacting with those who communicate differently, for long periods of time, this will certainly be taxing. If we're in places which cause sensory overload, this will drain us, too. So it's easy to think we're no good at socializing, or being spontaneous, because we're rarely allowed to try. Instead, we're told we have "social anxiety," which is like this vague, judgmental catchall. I'm not afraid of socializing, I'm afraid of eye contact. And noise. I'm afraid of listening to another Allistic person monologue about their personal life and ideology, mistaking my quietness for low intellect and patience--not the lack of enthusiasm it is. (Talk about ignoring social cues.)

It isn't "social anxiety," but anxiety from masking. I think what we fear is having to look and act just right, to avoid rejection, tantrums, and abuse. This term "social anxiety" that gets thrown at us so much is just self-serving to me. I think we're perfectly social, especially with other Autistics.