Why don't people listen to my stories?

[Flammie91]

I made an introductory thread when I first joined, and a thread about having cancer when I came back. I don't think there's any need, or any point, in making such threads, the idea makes me feel a bit uncomfortable actually.

Sometimes people may feel its a bit too heavy of a subject for them to comment on, or they dont feel its in their place to 'intrude' on your problems? I dunno Im just guessing. Like when people in my family have gotten cancer I got the impression that it was a "hush hush" type of situation that was taboo to elabourate on.

 

[WereBear]

If you have just met these people, you need to start with a sentence, not a story.

It's like trying a new food; they don't want a whole plate, they want a taste.

That might be part of it.

 

[Lula1989]

I have found through my own experiences that it depends on the people in the group. I typically feel the way you do when there is A. either two very, very close friends in the group, so they just become self indulgent in their conversation. B. There is a very self-centered person in the group discussion who always, no matter if it;s a 1:1 conversation or group, turns it back on themselves.

I usually only join group conversations when my instincts tell me that the people in the group are kind hearted. Those people always own their ears to listen to everyone.

This does, however, limit which group conversation make me feel truly part of them. Though, try to remember, human nature is to bounce around the room in conversation. They probably did hear you and were interested, but were excited about their own thoughts. Like you already said..

 

[Progster]

Sometimes people may feel its a bit too heavy of a subject for them to comment on, or they dont feel its in their place to 'intrude' on your problems? I dunno Im just guessing. Like when people in my family have gotten cancer I got the impression that it was a "hush hush" type of situation that was taboo to elabourate on.

I made the cancer thread because I wanted there to be a place where people on the spectrum with cancer could come and discuss it and get support.

 

[Flammie91]

I made the cancer thread because I wanted there to be a place where people on the spectrum with cancer could come and discuss it and get support.

I see, well maybe there just didnt happen to be that many who seen it and had it themselves, or they just didn't want to talk about it. I dont see why people would ignore you, I enjoy reading your posts :}

Edit: I believe I misunderstood, you commented in the thread earlier about being ignored, I thought the cancer thing was about being ignored as well, sorry.

 

[Judge]

The curse of being an Aspie. Where in group discussions, "timing is everything". It really is, at least from my perspective. Where at times you may feel like you just can't get in a single word.

 

[Tom]

I tend to go with the vibe I get about how patient/sharing everyone is at the moment. If its at all competitive or over excited I just don't participate. It helps me to think of it in scientific terms sometimes, that people are just the highest form of jabbering monkey.

 

[Tom]

I made the cancer thread because I wanted there to be a place where people on the spectrum with cancer could come and discuss it and get support.

Its a kinda intense thing for me, and generally I don't like to discuss it (cancer). I want to discuss anything else to free my mind from it for a time. I do mention it as a matter of course, in a factual way or if I think I can aid someone else. So don't feel bad. It is a good idea, because it was well meant and there might be someone who feels differently and has a burden to share.

 

[vangelis]

The curse of being an Aspie. Where in group discussions, "timing is everything". It really is, at least from my perspective. Where at times you may feel like you just can't get in a single word.

I agree, more than two or three others and I just don't bother as it's too much effort, easier to let them waffle on.

 

[Siobhan]

I definitely have an auditory processing delay, and take long pauses when I'm talking so what sounded so good in my head doesn't come out of my mouth sounding like nonsense. I've always had to repeat others' sentences in my head to understand what they're saying. I think that's why I find it so frustrating; I have to be pretty strict with myself about when it's my turn to talk, and I listen to a lot of stuff I don't find interesting, so I always feel like other people should do that too, even though they don't and don't necessarily have to.

 

[Siobhan]

I made the cancer thread because I wanted there to be a place where people on the spectrum with cancer could come and discuss it and get support.

That was really brave of you. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say, you reminded me I should try a little harder. I'm sending good thoughts into the universe for you.

 

[Progster]

That was really brave of you. I didn't say anything because I didn't know what to say, you reminded me I should try a little harder. I'm sending good thoughts into the universe for you.

I think that there's been a misunderstanding here - I wasn't referring to the cancer thread when I said that sometimes people ignore me, these are two separate things - I don't expect anyone to post in it if they have nothing to say and there is no obligation whatsoever to do so. I also understand that Not everyone is going to have anything to say or will want to talk about it. I made the thread because when I was going through the treatment, I looked for such threads on ASD forums because I wanted to see how people coped with various aspects of the treatments and what coping mechanisms they had, and I found nothing, so I wanted to create a place where people on the spectrum could come and talk, if and when they feel the need. I had no intention of making one of these 'social obligation threads' like "it's my birthday" where people feel obliged to respond because that's the social norm. I want people to respond because they are genuinely interested and have something to say, and not out of social obligation. It is an information sharing thread, not a social one.

 

[Siobhan]

That makes sense, I did misunderstand. Thanks for clearing it up.