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Why I don't approach women I don't know?

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Steelbookcollector217 said:
If only it was more common for women to do that or if women did that just as much as men did then there would be a lot less single and a lot less lonely people in the world
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You are absolutely right. There is no way we would have gotten together if I hadn't made the first move. I was with my children's dad at the time, but he was incredibly abusive toward me. So there's that.

Plus my guy was very a very under confident Aspie who was also sporting a Traumatic Brain Injury from being nearly murdered with a hammer.

At one stage he told me "You don't want me, I am damaged goods" to which I replied "Yes, I do, I'm damaged too".

So you see, I pursued him, and we wouldn't be this happy couple if I hadn't done that.
 
Neri said:
You are absolutely right. There is no way we would have gotten together if I hadn't made the first move. I was with my children's dad at the time, but he was incredibly abusive toward me. So there's that.

Plus my guy was very a very under confident Aspie who was also sporting a Traumatic Brain Injury from being nearly murdered with a hammer.

At one stage he told me "You don't want me, I am damaged goods" to which I replied "Yes, I do, I'm damaged too".

So you see, I pursued him, and we wouldn't be this happy couple if I hadn't done that.
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Yeah but unfortunately the majority of women are stubborn and adamant in which they have the mindset that a woman should never pursue a man.

I hear these comments from women who are like that and their frequent comments are "men court women, it's been like that traditionally, or because men are hunters"
 
That's why I will most likely remain single. I just can't approach women and ask them out with all the negative reactions I got.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
Yeah but unfortunately the majority of women are stubborn and adamant in which they have the mindset that a woman should never pursue a man.

I hear these comments from women who are like that and their frequent comments are "men court women, it's been like that traditionally, or because men are hunters"
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There are nearly four billion women on the planet—and no, they’re not going to magically and spontaneously rebel against 300,000 years of human mating rituals just because you don’t like approaching or forming relationships with them. The world isn’t going to bend to your deficiencies.

Women aren’t being “stubborn.” We simply don’t think about this stuff most of the time, and nor do men—because it’s just the way it is. It’s how we are all taught to behave, and it works for the vast majority of us. If it doesn’t work for you, then you need to change, or accept that you’re not willing to change, or sit around waiting for women to approach you. Those are your choices. In the meantime, repeatedly making the same resentful, bitter comments over and over about women being responsible for your issues just makes you seem negative and sexist.
 
All I know is the past couple of weeks with the women who approached me, knew me or acknowledge I was there already have been so kind to me. Both in yoga classes and a church/life group. Like yesterday after class an attractive woman who been too my class last week offered me and our teacher cookies she baked. I thanked her and she said you are welcomed. We all talked after class. I have also been greeting them with a smile and thanking them.
 
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Kalinychta said:
There are nearly four billion women on the planet—and no, they’re not going to magically and spontaneously rebel against 300,000 years of human mating rituals just because you don’t like approaching or forming relationships with them. The world isn’t going to bend to your deficiencies.

Women aren’t being “stubborn.” We simply don’t think about this stuff most of the time, and nor do men—because it’s just the way it is. It’s how we are all taught to behave, and it works for the vast majority of us. If it doesn’t work for you, then you need to change, or accept that you’re not willing to change, or sit around waiting for women to approach you. Those are your choices. In the meantime, repeatedly making the same resentful, bitter comments over and over about women being responsible for your issues just makes you seem negative and sexist.
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reminds me how my mindset and perspective has changed on courtship and dating or seduction over the years but I get very annoyed and irritated and enraged when people call it something you learn or something that can be learned or when people call it a learnable skill or learnable behavior or something you learn but it's long and difficult to explain why it makes me mad and angry when people call it that or refer to it something like that
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
reminds me how my mindset and perspective has changed on courtship and dating or seduction over the years but I get very annoyed and irritated and enraged when people call it something you learn or something that can be learned or when people call it a learnable skill or learnable behavior or something you learn but it's long and difficult to explain why it makes me mad and angry when people call it that or refer to it something like that
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Check out Tony’s comment above yours. Happy, receptive people are attractive to others. Honestly there’s really no secret beyond that.
 
Steel I was thinking negative like you and even put on a ticked off mad, sad face hoping woman would approach me. Not only did not single women approach me but I was starting to push away the friends I had until a wise yoga teacher, pastor and people here told me otherwise. Now since I am smiling more and trying to be more friendly to anyone who will talk to me, before I was only trying to talk to attractive women and avoiding men and old people. Since then the attractive women have been approaching me more. Not in droves but occasionally and I been friendly back to them as they have been too me.
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
Jad T Jones and a guy called Tripp Advice, they mentioned that.
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This isn't something that requires formal proof (though it's available).

If you were to look at the entire "dating market", you'd find:
A smallish minority of men have a relatively easy time of it, and a large majority of women have a relatively easy time of it.

The split isn't symmetrical, but the "80/20 rule" is a reasonable enough approximation for casual discussions.

There are other closely related "markets" of course.
The one that "reverses the script" is formal permanent relationships, where access is controlled by men rather than women.

Social media and various social movements have changed this domain (dating -> raising children) a lot, and of late the rate of change is amazingly fast.
So it's safe to say it's a very dynamic environment, and predictions are chancy at best. Also analyses of the past, which is being re-written /sigh.

There are some interesting numbers of course, but this isn't the right forum, let alone the correct thread, to discuss them. The point is that expectations and decisions can neither be based on the recent past (last 150 years or so) nor on the immediate future (say 30-50 years, out to when the population collapse really kicks in).

The best advice (but universally ignored of course /lol) is to make peace with the present, and do the best you can.
 
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Hypnalis said:
This isn't something that requires formal proof (though it's available).

If you were to look at the entire "dating market", you'd find:
A smallish minority of men have a relatively easy time of it, and a large majority of women have a relatively easy time of it.

The split isn't symmetrical, but the "80/20 rule" is a reasonable enough approximation for casual discussions.

There are other closely related "markets" of course.
The one that "reverses the script" is formal permanent relationships, where access is controlled by men rather than women.

Social media and various social movements have changed this domain (dating -> raising children) a lot, and of late the rate of change is amazingly fast.
So it's safe to say it's a very dynamic environment, and predictions are chancy at best. Also analyses of the past, which is being re-written /sigh.

There are some interesting numbers of course, but this isn't the right forum, let alone the correct thread, to discuss them. The point is that expectations and decisions can neither be based on the recent past (last 150 years or so) nor on the immediate future (say 30-50 years, out to when the population collapse really kicks in).

The best advice (but universally ignored of course /lol) is to make peace with the present, and do the best you can.
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Reminds me of a pattern I've noticed about the TV series Love on the Spectrum, which of course the theme of that series is of course the theme of this forum or site as well
 
@Tony Ramirez

How you interpret facts is up to you. It's an adult decision.
But I didn't say anything that shapes your future. What you do with the facts is a 100% your choice.

FWIW you're in a much better place than you were 12 months ago.
But you seem to think you're done with your personal development and your ongoing social interactions.

Given your stated objectives, you're perhaps half-way to being your best self. Keep going.
 
I remember one quote or statement by a guy made me angry even more, when one guy was ranting about the unfairness of dating as a guy, the guy said to him "at least the road of doing work has rewards".

That made me more angry
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
I remember one quote or statement by a guy made me angry even more, when one guy was ranting about the unfairness of dating as a guy, the guy said to him "at least the road of doing work has rewards".

That made me more angry
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What would you have liked to hear him say instead?
 
Steelbookcollector217 said:
That either men have it harder than women do in dating or human mating or that men in general have to work much harder than women do in order to attract someone or to get into a relationship with someone
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I see. But I think you would have felt even angrier if he had said that. It would have reinforced your resentment toward women.

It’s easier to just despise women than it is to break down the irrationality and unfairness of your opinions and deal with the pain behind your misplaced anger. Easier, but ultimately the most damaging and self-sabotaging.
 
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