Why I fear my wedding day will NEVER come

[artfull dodger]

I was a late bloomer as well, but didnt get my diagnosis till I was almost 41. I did achieve the girlfriend/virginity loss/marriage till I was 27, didnt date till I was 26 and lived at home that whole time. It can and does happen to those who want it bad enough to find ways past whatever holds you back. It just took me those 27 years to find ways around my fears of meeting and talking to girls. Then finding the right one that loved me for who I was at the time, and now with my diagnosis, she loves me even more and better understands why I am the way I am. Keep your head up, Mike

 

[Ereth]

Ereth, let him keep the princess thought. I think a guy who thinks like that is adorable - maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic. I agree about marriage not being easy, but he's just trying to find a gf at the moment. Dating should be fun and if it turns into more than that then seriousness should follow.

Yes, dating should be fun, and I suppose from a certain perspective, seeing someone as a princess or prince is romantic and cute. But he needs to be firmly grounded in reality at the same time, and to me, at least, being called "princess" would seem condescending. Be a gentleman, yes, but don't fawn over a lady (and vice versa or same-sex---whichever applies).

 

[Mattymatt]

Dating should be fun but it isn't always. I'm sure a large part is attitude.

 

[Elsbett]

I too agree on the princess.


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[Grumpy Cat]

Yes, dating should be fun, and I suppose from a certain perspective, seeing someone as a princess or prince is romantic and cute. But he needs to be firmly grounded in reality at the same time, and to me, at least, being called "princess" would seem condescending. Be a gentleman, yes, but don't fawn over a lady (and vice versa or same-sex---whichever applies).

I agree with you - don't call them princess right outta the box - it should be reserved for later (I was meaning to let him keep the "thought" about finding a princess). And he should be a gentleman too, that is very important. I would love to be treated like a princess!

 

[Ste11aeres]

Off the subject but...great avatar! now my avatar-fluttershy can have an avatar-friend.

 

[FromEquestria2LA]

BTW, spoiler alert: One of my wedding wishes is that I want the U.S. and Canadian anthems be played.

 

[FromEquestria2LA]

"Take it one step at a time. I had my first girlfriend and first breakup this year and I've got a decade on you. In time, it will come. You would be better off getting married to the right woman for all of the right reasons. You're going to be just fine."

Don't forget, I will also move to L.A> upon my marriage......... unless I see someone like me is from that particular area.

 

[Ste11aeres]

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no. You need to get the "princess" idea out of your head right this minute. A potential girlfriend is not someone to be idealized and idolized----she is a human being. No "princess" is going to just pop into your life. Dating isn't a fairy tale, and neither is marriage. Not even when one's partner is everything positive in the world.

I bet that being an actual princess isn't a fairy tale either. "Princess" in our culture, basically means somebody who wears old Disney style dresses.

 

[Judge]

Outside of an actual monarchy I've heard the term "princess" used for the last 30 years in a more or less unflattering and stereotypical manner.

 

[Flinty]

I bet that being an actual princess isn't a fairy tale either.

Well, since in the UK it means being a breeding vessel (heir and a spare) over all else, no, it's not a fairy tale.

By the by, there are over 1300 people in line for the throne of the UK. Just so you know.

 

[Randomperson]

You are not the only one that has no clue on dating and relationships, and I am 35 now. If you went to college and got a degree in something that is useless for getting a job stop using that as an excuse, there are lots of job fields hiring now, where I live there is an oil boom if you are up for putting in the effort, they are also building a heavy farm machinery factory they will need 200 workers for, and an oil refinery. Personally I am okay with my current job for now as the pay to work ration is good (although the amount of work is low enough that even though the ratio is good I am not getting rich off it), but hey I do not have to live with my horrible abusive family either.

My problems stem from trying to find a single female that I would get along with, my personal standards and those I apply to this potential female are just too damn high for where I live, because I will not tolerate smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, dishonesty, infidelity, and frankly I do not want to date anyone is not just as much of a virgin as I am, because it would bother me terribly.

 

[Aeolienne]

I would love to be treated like a princess!

I got into a bit of an argument on Plentyoffish with someone who kept referring to me as "princess" and I, ever the royal-watcher, said: "Which one? I hope I'm not Diana or Masako. Although I wouldn't mind being compared to Mary of Denmark or Maxima of the Netherlands." The sender couldn't seem to understand why anyone would object to being compared to someone as intelligent, attractive and with-it as Diana...

 

[Otenba]

I'd hate to be called princess, or similar. It would make me not trust your motives towards me (like, why is my name not endearing enough? Are you trying to pretend I'm someone else? Do you not see me as an equal?), especially if you carried on calling me stuff like princess when I'd said not to. That would be disrespectful.

Can't understand why you'd obsess over a wedding day when you've not even started the relationship with the person you want to marry. One thing at a time. You'll scare people off telling them on date one you want to marry them. Most people do not think that far ahead and relationships take time and effort. Wedding days are minor things that people hype up.

 

[paloftoon]

Dating is fun, but can also be taxing and emotionally heart breaking if break ups happen. It's all on par for the course. You might never be able to prepare yourself for it. Just be okay with trying and not giving up. You might feel down on yourself temporarily, and that's normal. Seek counseling if necessary and within your means if going through a breakup and you aren't handling it emotionally well.

You are wise enough to know that it is very hard to get a job in your current status. So, work on yourself and do things that make yourself stand out positively as feasibly as you can. It can be as simple as taking one course at a time or volunteering for an activity for more job related experience. you have nothing to lose, and you will be a happier person when you grow, regardless if you end up with a significant others or friends. It takes time. There are other people lost just like you and me that care. People that care are hard to find. Many can only manage being with a few in their own inner circles even if they really do care.

you've already made a good first step. You made a post here and expressed your concerns, and we were able to give you some feedback

 

[George Newman]

BTW, spoiler alert: One of my wedding wishes is that I want the U.S. and Canadian anthems be played.

I didn’t get eye of the tiger played at my wedding. Darn it! Good luck on the anthem thing.

 

[George Newman]

I got into a bit of an argument on Plentyoffish with someone who kept referring to me as "princess" and I, ever the royal-watcher, said: "Which one? I hope I'm not Diana or Masako. Although I wouldn't mind being compared to Mary of Denmark or Maxima of the Netherlands." The sender couldn't seem to understand why anyone would object to being compared to someone as intelligent, attractive and with-it as Diana...

Maybe he means like a Disney princess?