Wishing You Had Known Earlier

[VictorR]

I'm going to pop in an answercI made to a previous thread that seems applicable here as well.

From what I've seen, those with a later diagnosis are more likely to fall in the camp where the diagnosis / identification comes as a relief, whereas those who receive a diagnosis (or self-identify) up to early adulthood (say 25-ish) are more likely to have concerns.

This is likely because the former often already have a lot of life experience and quite often have already developed some sense of self, and so it's easier to learn something about yourself, reflect on how it impacted your past, and then look ahead on how you can use this knowledge to adapt to things going forward.

As a teenager or young adult (as your profile suggests), you're quite likely still very much in the process of finding yourself, maybe still deciding on what you want to do your post-secondary studies or training in. To know you're different can mean getting help and avoiding some of the pitfalls that some of us later diagnosed have fallen into. But at the same time, knowledge, and fear of the unknown can be overwhelming.

Sorry if I'm not making much sense. I'm kind of tired but I did want to respond with some thoughts.

 

[MNAus]

It's a tough question to answer. One downside I've found from being diagnosed is my relationship is suffering heavily. I think my partner always had a hope that I would change. Now she knows I won't, and it's not going well. I seem to irritate her so much more than I used to. It's also meant that I can discard the idea of gaining what is "missing". On the one hand that's a relief, because I can let myself off the hook, but on the other hand that disadvantage is permanent, which is not a positive feeling.

On balance, I really don't know, but I suspect this way has been better. Not least because there wasn't that much help around that would have made any difference. But I'm happy enough with who I am as a person, so wouldn't wish that away on the off chance of what? Fame, fortune? That said, finding out now was absolutely necessary, because my burn-outs (that I didn't understand) were getting more frequent and more severe. I think there was a chance that my next one could lead to a full breakdown and perhaps psychosis or god knows what else. So on balance, also happy I found out.

 

[Toirtis]

Not really. I was always unusual/weird, and had i a diagnosis when I was a child I feel quite certain that it would have led to far greater marginalisation and struggle.

 

[Jumpinbare]

Nietsche meets Wiley Coyote

Nietsche said what doesn't kill us makes us stronger. Wiley Coyote runs off a cliff but doesn't fall until he looks down.

I didn't know my brain was wired differently. I knew what was difficult for me. I had to bite a lot of bullets to get by in life, and I figured other people do it so I could too. So it was tough. I had to toughen up.

I went to college on an ROTC scholarship and went on to be a physicist in the Air Force. After leaving the Air Force, I worked for 34 years with electronics and lasers. Though I married late (at 40), I was married 24 years when my wife passed away.

If my classmates knew, understood, and cared about autism, maybe I would have had an easier time in school. If I knew my difficulties were caused by the way I was born, I probably would not have toughed through them.

I would have had an easier life no doubt, but I can't say whether it would have been better.

 

[Progster]

Has anyone else tried to hunt down clues from their infancy or childhood to see if your parents (or guardians) should have figured it out?

I looked through old school reports. Yes, there was evidence, also of possible ADHD. People just weren't diagnosed then, unless it was really severe. Autistic and ADHD kids were just treated like noisy and disruptive kids that were to be disciplined. Nobody is to blame, least of all my parents. It's just how things were.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

I would like to have received a "present profesional diagnose" in my past.

Present professional diagnoses talk about differences, good stuff, chanllenges and strategies to better manage yourself. They are usefull.

30 years ago, an autism diagnose was about "how broken is your kid" and were of little or no help at best. Probably would just add trauma to the existing problem. If your parents were wealthy enought you could end being tortured with electroshocks to behave in a normal way.

No thanks.

 

[Ursus Chainus]

Does anyone else ever get lost in wishing you had known about your neurodivergence earlier in life? I hadn't really considered it until I began reading these forums, and it's been on my mind a lot lately. Maybe it's just a rite of passage for those of us who are diagnosed (or self-diagnosed) as adults? I can't stop thinking about how much confusion could have been saved if I had known earlier. If my family had known earlier. Does this feeling reduce or go away with time?

I was diagnosed with “developmental retardation” when I was a child.

They thought I was incapable of learning like other children. I was held back a grade. When I was in 4th grade, I got a proper autism diagnosis. In 7th grade ADD. I was diagnosed again with both as an adult.

The funny thing is that I was reading at a college level by the third grade. In sixth grade, I was teaching myself Latin.

The diagnosis was somewhat forgotten. I am not sure if it helped in my case to be diagnosed so young.

I am 56 now… understanding the crazy emotional meltdowns is useful even if nobody believes me that I have them.

 

[NDR2]

Maybe, if it could have made things easier for me growing up and people would have been more understanding. Also if it could keep me from taking all the comments and criticisms I’ve gotten over the years to heart.