Work experience

[As sweet as-pie]

Do they have a front desk? If possible, call in advance to find out.

No, as far as I'm aware the front door leads straight into the living room.

 

[55853]

Well the actual place I have to go to, I've looked outside, just gotten taken there so I can see the entrance etc. I've looked at all available pictures online to get an idea of it, but I've never been inside so I don't know where I'm going. It's a very informal place, it's a care home so I just have to walk in and somehow find a member of staff and ask for the manager. I always just freeze up and feel lost. I've never really done anything for myself because my brain just doesn't understand how... it's like.. does not compute.

I think my main issue is just that it's so informal and casual and I just have to drop in randomly and somehow find a member of staff. I don't trust people who can do this kind of stuff!

Thank you for your reply.

It's been suggested before, but I'd recommend scripting this. Think about how you'll go about identifying a member of staff (e.g. by where they'll be, what they'll be wearing), think of what you'd like to say (e.g. "hello, do you know where I can find the manager?"), and think about an explanation in case they ask who you are (e.g. "I'm here for work experience").

 

[Gracey]

Can you smile and say hello?

Try that with someone wearing some sort of tunic/uniform.
(Not a resident)

Your next script will be your name and the reason you’re a stranger stood in a care home.

“My name is sweet as pie, I’m from .... college on work placement.
Where should I start?”

 

[Juliettaa]

This is one of many, many obstacles you're going to come up against in adult life.

New situations are scary (for some). We're wayyyyyyyy out of our comfort zone. But that doesn't mean we can't push ourselves out of that zone utilising coping strategies (and having a safety net at the end of the working day - downtime)

You've had some good advice about planning a route, having a script etc. It might be an idea to email the placement beforehand and explain that you're new to work experience and that you would appreciate it if you had a named person to 'take you under their wing' - like a workplace buddy.

Please don't give up before you've even got there.

 

[As sweet as-pie]

This is one of many, many obstacles you're going to come up against in adult life.

New situations are scary (for some). We're wayyyyyyyy out of our comfort zone. But that doesn't mean we can't push ourselves out of that zone utilising coping strategies (and having a safety net at the end of the working day - downtime)

You've had some good advice about planning a route, having a script etc. It might be an idea to email the placement beforehand and explain that you're new to work experience and that you would appreciate it if you had a named person to 'take you under their wing' - like a workplace buddy.

Please don't give up before you've even got there.

I'm OK with the idea of the actual work placement, ironically. I'll be accompanied the whole time anyway. It's just the initial first part going into a place alone and meeting them.

 

[Juliettaa]

Not worried about the DBS itself, more the new place and having to socialise with people I've never met before. I struggle to talk for myself and tbh I have no idea what to say or do.

I forgot to say ............. you're not going there to socialise and make small talk; you're there because it's part of your course, so please try not to put too much emphasis on that. You really don't have to engage in social chat if you don't want to. It's perfectly okay to be there and not join in.

I have worked for the same organisation for decades and I don't engage in 'small talk', nor do I socialise. I'd rather stick pins in my eyes

 

[Juliettaa]

I'm OK with the idea of the actual work placement, ironically. I'll be accompanied the whole time anyway. It's just the initial first part going into a place alone and meeting them.

If that's the bit that's causing you the most angst, can't you go along with a friend for the DBS check and just explain the friend as someone you're off to study with after the DBS check?

 

[As sweet as-pie]

If that's the bit that's causing you the most angst, can't you go along with a friend for the DBS check and just explain the friend as someone you're off to study with after the DBS check?

I don't have any friends :s Otherwise I'd do that in a heartbeat. The only person I can go with is my dad, and that's awkward surely?

 

[Juliettaa]

I don't have any friends :s Otherwise I'd do that in a heartbeat. The only person I can go with is my dad, and that's awkward surely?

Going with your dad in tow doesn't have to be awkward. You (or he) could pass it off that you're not familiar with the area/public transport links so he came along for the ride/drove you there and that after you're done with the DBS stuff, he's treating you to lunch.

 

[the_tortoise]

I just can't go to places I've never been before without visualising them fully and knowing what they look like. That's my main issue. Even with support it's really hard, but there's no way I could do it alone. I can't talk for myself either, I just never know what to say and often become mute.

This helps me to understand a little better.

More ideas:

Could you do a practice run of going to the place you need to go by yourself (so your brain has a memory of how to get there by yourelf)-- right up to the door of the place you're going?

Could you put your script on note cards to have with you at the time? (Maybe you did this before and it still didn't work, but thought I'd throw it out there just in case.)

Is the issue just speaking -- could you still write/type? And/or could you have cards/pieces of paper prepared with statements on them that you could just hand to the person you're interacting with?

For example, could you write down on a note card/small piece of paper, something like:

Good morning/afternoon [ or other appropriate greeting],

My name is As-sweet-as-pie, I have an appointment for a [kinda-interview-thing] with [person] at [time].

[You can add any explanation you want to give them about why you are handing them a piece of paper with a script on it rather than saying the words out loud -- you could just offer it up and leave them to wonder, I think there's at least a fair chance the person you give it to won't even ask out of a desire to avoid rudeness or some other kind of social mis-step.

Or make something up -- say you have laryngitis.]
​

Would doing a practice/mock run of the kinda-interview with someone you know help you at all? (I am wondering if part of the problem is that your brain needs certain cues to remember to do or say certain things, and in the absence of those cues you panic? Practicing might help in that case, depending on what kind(/s) of cues you need and how well you do with generalizing.)

Could you write/draw yourself a series of steps to follow on the day (as detailed or general as you like, you could have the specific steps, written or drawn, for "open door" "walk up to desk" "say hello" etc. or you could just have vague words/symbols), maybe put them in a a little flip book and tie it to your wrist? (So that if you freeze, you just follow the steps as best you can -- so that all you have to remember to do is look at the instructions you've made for yourself.)

Could you perhaps call/write ahead to the place and ask if you could stop in to familiarize yourself and/or meet the people you'll be speaking to, give them some idea of your difficulties related to navigating new places and/or meeting new people? It may be that they won't accomodate you, or that anything you say to indicate you have a disability/difficulties before the kinda-interview will trigger prejudice and the whole thing will be cancelled, but is that any worse than just not going and dropping out of your program?

 

[As sweet as-pie]

This helps me to understand a little better.

More ideas:

Could you do a practice run of going to the place you need to go by yourself (so your brain has a memory of how to get there by yourelf)-- right up to the door of the place you're going?

Could you put your script on note cards to have with you at the time? (Maybe you did this before and it still didn't work, but thought I'd throw it out there just in case.)

Is the issue just speaking -- could you still write/type? And/or could you have cards/pieces of paper prepared with statements on them that you could just hand to the person you're interacting with?

For example, could you write down on a note card/small piece of paper, something like:

Good morning/afternoon [ or other appropriate greeting],

My name is As-sweet-as-pie, I have an appointment for a [kinda-interview-thing] with [person] at [time].

[You can add any explanation you want to give them about why you are handing them a piece of paper with a script on it rather than saying the words out loud -- you could just offer it up and leave them to wonder, I think there's at least a fair chance the person you give it to won't even ask out of a desire to avoid rudeness or some other kind of social mis-step.

Or make something up -- say you have laryngitis.]
​

Would doing a practice/mock run of the kinda-interview with someone you know help you at all? (I am wondering if part of the problem is that your brain needs certain cues to remember to do or say certain things, and in the absence of those cues you panic? Practicing might help in that case, depending on what kind(/s) of cues you need and how well you do with generalizing.)

Could you write/draw yourself a series of steps to follow on the day (as detailed or general as you like, you could have the specific steps, written or drawn, for "open door" "walk up to desk" "say hello" etc. or you could just have vague words/symbols), maybe put them in a a little flip book and tie it to your wrist? (So that if you freeze, you just follow the steps as best you can -- so that all you have to remember to do is look at the instructions you've made for yourself.)

Could you perhaps call/write ahead to the place and ask if you could stop in to familiarize yourself and/or meet the people you'll be speaking to, give them some idea of your difficulties related to navigating new places and/or meeting new people? It may be that they won't accomodate you, or that anything you say to indicate you have a disability/difficulties before the kinda-interview will trigger prejudice and the whole thing will be cancelled, but is that any worse than just not going and dropping out of your program?

I'm not sure how much I can do of this now since I have to go in tomorrow, but thanks. This is really helpful.

 

[the_tortoise]

I'm not sure how much I can do of this now since I have to go in tomorrow, but thanks. This is really helpful.

Good luck -- I hope it goes well!

 

[55853]

I'm not sure how much I can do of this now since I have to go in tomorrow, but thanks. This is really helpful.

Good luck. You're prepared, you've got this.

 

[LiberationBattle]

I can relate to you. I applied to Stop & Shop through Mass Rehabilitation Clinic and they gave me enough of a push to get started. I literally knew nothing of the work force, only having taken care of my younger siblings by taking out trash and doing dishes.
I understand the fear of the unknown, but I've learned that the worst thing you can do is say "I don't know". I got the job as a custodian and have held onto the job for four and a half years!
So don't be afraid. Do what @Bolletje said and go to the front desk for information.
For a job like the one your describing, you'll want to tell them of anything you've done taking care of other people: siblings, relatives, or if you have babysat. Ask lots of questions to show that you are interested.
What are your priorities on a typical day?
What kind of schedule will you have to adhere to?
Things like that.
I don't know anything of DBS, but that shouldn't stop you.
Be courteous, shake their hands, keep eye contact if you can.

Best of Luck

 

[tducey]

Part of my last job meant I had to do a work placement. I was lucky that I knew most of the people that worked there. Still I get the nervousness. Getting someone close to you to join you if you're going for a familiarization thing could help.

 

[Thinx]

This sounds like a big challenge and to me it sounds like something the course tutor or other support helper you have would be a good person to get help planning. You have specific difficulties here that are gonna be worse at the start and others could help you overcome , it's part of your individual educational needs, it's why you came to the course, so I think it should be fine to ask for help with this. You are completely right that getting access is different from being able to do the work, and if you are able to do the work you should be able to be accessed to the place. Ideally there would be a mentor in the workplace to support you too. I'm not absolutely sure though from what you have said if this is definitely work you feel able to do, as it sounds like it's possibly hands on care of people work? Work experience is ideally going to help you know if that's of interest to you or if it works for you, and as you're doing well in the class it certainly sounds like you may be in the right work area. I hope you find a way through this.

 

[the_tortoise]

@As sweet as-pie, just wanted to say I hope it all went well.

And if it didn't go well (or didn't go at all) I hope you don't give up on finishing your program. (Or, if you must give up on it: I hope you do not give up on finding some other program/path that will enable you do what you want to do in life).

 

[SteveH]

Yeah.. I was just hoping maybe someone could offer me advice since we're all in a similar boat before I accept that I'm going to have to drop out and live with my parents for the rest of my life, lol. But thanks for your input.

Here are a few random things. I had to go to the Apple store today and get my screen repaired. The apple store is a nightmare becasue all the people, sound etc. So when the apple person started to help me, I immediately smiled and informed her that I have autism and all the commotion could freak me out and want to pre-apologize if I accidentally frown or act strange and that I appreciate her help. She gave me the nicest smile and was so nice and kind to me. I also immediately felt much better. It went well.
Perhaps you could call their office on the phone and do the same thing and say, that you have autism and it is your dream to have a job and support yourself but this DBS thing is difficult and maybe be able to make an appointment, or whatever accommodation that might help your get though it. It is always surprising when I do this. People are surprisingly happy to help a person with a "disability" who wants to pick themselves up by their boot straps.

 

[SteveH]

Some hard lessens I have learned. The last statistic I read was 78% of AS people do NOT have full-time work in US. Because of the way many AS people function, it is very very very difficult to work in an NT world. I got the highest score on my final exam in Advanced Statistics that my teacher ever gave out--yet I work at least 50% harder than any other nurse in my trauma ER. It sucks to actually be smart and hardworking and not be able to climb the ladder of the work world like NT people. The nurse who is overwhelmed, doing crappy charting, and not answering her call light-but can smile and wink at the charge nurse seems like a more competent nurse than me--even though I have everything done perfectly but I have a frozen frown on my face and am staring at the floor as I scurry by. It sucks. But it is a reality--that I am just beginning to accept myself.

This may actually not work out for you. But do NOT give up. It is OK to accept the fact that you will stumble a lot and run into obstacles that you cannot overcome. But don't give up. Think about what you have already accomplished! Maybe you will never be able to reach your employment potential. But you are young so you can fail many times(and you will if you don't give up) and still get some kind of job you can tolerate. And trying harder? I would bet money that you have already worked twice as hard to achieve what you already have.

One last though-because you are young. Many things that you cannot tolerate or do right now may change as you age. In terms of work, don't compare yourself to NT people. If this does not work out, maybe live at home and get a down-low part-time job that is super easy. I have worked in the back of a fast food restaurant. It was easy and no people.

P.S. That pep talk was for me as well--but I'm not young anymore.

 

[SteveH]

I don't have any friends :s Otherwise I'd do that in a heartbeat. The only person I can go with is my dad, and that's awkward surely?

Sorry to be so pedantic--but I have to correct you. You have no friends that live close to you that can help you in this situation. You have friends here and we support you!