Work Problems

[Amy B]

I'm never saying this is a good thing... BUT it might be a rainbow in a massive thunderstorm. With your age (not that you are old by any means), a psych eval might become a possibility for you to get disability... I believe in it when people need it and deserve it... It also may tie their hands from the disciplinary actions themselves... Its a dicey two edged sword, but you can swing it in your favor also... : )

It sounds like you are under extreme pressure and I know how crippling that can be... I got myself torn from one end to the other today, and I'm trying to not think about it right now. I am forced to multitask on an extreme level and I suck at it horribly. I do it by utilizing my phone alarms like a mad scientist. I have alarms for all sorts of things because I have so many things going at one time, sometimes for 16-18 hours at a time. Yet one slip and I'm treated like I'm some sort of idiot.

I deserved to get chewed out... I screwed up. I got so busy (with unexpected stuff) I left a leased excavator running for about 6 hours before I remembered it. It is leased by the hours used at 180.00 an hour... So thats why I'm trouble... Before i could get back to it, someone else had already found it running and turned me in for it... No harm, just the expense and possible things that could have gone wrong (which didn't). I hate it when I know I have disappointed someone or feel they have lost trust in me. All I had to do was turn the stupid thing off, but it was over 100 degrees and the AC isn't that good in it, and I truly thought I would be right back. That wasn't the case and there was no excuse for it... It sucks.

I know how you feel when you try very hard, only to feel like nothing at the end of the day, and even in trouble for it.

I do very well until things get super intense (like it is now)... Everyone gets on edge, and I want to disappear and I cant.

Meds to help clarity do help... I was on Wellbutrin, and they changed it... I hate taking meds, but at times I don't have a choice. I just went on Aderall and it apparently hasn't helped much, yet... : )

One last thought is a check list on your phone of the major things, and on mine I have them in red and the minor things in blue. This leased truck has nothing to do with my normal day, so it wasn't part of my list.
My bad... : )

I do hope things work out for you and you are in my thoughts... My bet is something good will come of this.

It sounds like you had a rotten day. I apologize for being so wrapped up in how what you said all applied to me. You sound like a very sharp person and I really hope your situation changes for the better. Sometimes I feel like everyone these days is proud of who they are, whatever that is—but some of us just don’t give ourselves any breaks, and we just aren’t being fair to ourselves. Some people aren’t suited for certain types of work and there’s nothing we can do about that.

 

[Chance]

I think people who are higher on the "spectrum" mostly over think stuff because maybe we have too.
Some of us are real mental freaks... Ummm I'm in that group, ask anyone here. : )

Most stuff that is just automatic to a NT, isn't automatic to a lot of us, so there is a lot of energy used just making sure we are functioning correctly (or at least how we perceive correctly), and even then its... well it is what it is...

I also think (and I could be horribly wrong) that reasonably high functioning ASD people try harder then most people. We are more loyal than most people, but we get hurt deeper then most people, simply because most of us try harder then most people. The stakes are simply higher and its not about status quo, its more about doing what we can with what we have.

This is never a jab at "normal" people. I envy them... In a good way. They have no idea how hard people like us try to fit into things that outwardly we appear okay, or maybe a little awkward... While inside we would basically give anything to be able to not have to work five time as hard mentally, to get half as much accomplished.

Yet on the other side of this mental conundrum... We are blessed. We can often think in ways others cant begin to grasp. We can think deeper than most even care too, and the little things in LIFE are important to us because they are not given, they are earned.

No matter what comes of your situation... Never let people make you feel inferior (from a guy who cant get past it). You made it this far... People get stressed out, and they mess up. Its called being human. In our case we might sometimes have to face our humanity on levels other just take for granted.

 

[sabrdawg]

*hugs* and happy birthday a day late! <3 Best of luck. I'm sure something will give, due to the fact you have so many years of experience with the company and it seems like they value you

 

[WolfsRealm]

Happy Belated Birthday. I know from experience that you feel it was anything but happy else you would not have been on here. I can feel your frustration from here. All of the responses by the other members were excellent ideas yet I have the feeling that you've tried, or feel that you've tried, most of them.
I went through a very similar situation a year and a half ago. I had a job in a call center doing Tier 2 and 3 resolution at a satellite phone and personal GPS tracking company. It wasn't unusual for me to spend 3 or 4hrs on the phone with a customer, who was often speaking English as their 2nd or 3rd language, trying to resolve an issue for them. Many times they were literally out in the middle of nowhere and the equipment HAD to work as it may be a matter of life and death. Anyway, I was very good at developing rapport with the customers and resolving their issues when possible. I don't know how many accounts I saved when receiving a call from someone who hated technology yet needed the product so that they could go off grid and were ready to throw the device away because they couldn't figure out how to make it work ... yet by the time they got off the phone with me not only did they know how to use the device they were excited to go out and play with it because it could do so much more than they ever imagined. Anyway...
The year prior to may reaching the point at which you seem to have reached I was having numerous physical issues coming out of nowhere (I've been diagnosed with Lupus, avascular necrosis, spinal stenosis, degenerative disc disease and several more), 3 relatives committed suicide and my Nannan, my god mother was dying from end stage pancreatic cancer. I made a REALLY huge mistake at work which resulted in a 12hr shutdown of the satellite network over the entire western half of the US.... which didn't result in my being fired because they knew I'd done the best I could with no management available to assist me. But all of this cumulatively had me at such a stressed point that I did have a psych evaluation and was told that I should take FMLA. This is something I had never heard of but basically it's a medical leave for up to 90 days during which time your job and position is protected. They are required to hold it for you. You also receive a portion of your pay during this time (I got 60% of my gross pay) as well as retaining all of your benefits.
YThisou mentioned that your mother was recently diagnosed with congestive heart failure in addition to you being in a job that is actively triggering your ASD. This medical time off would allow you the opportunity to not only recharge yourself but to use your benefits to get the diagnosis you need. What this would do for you at that point is require them to make allowances for your diagnosis. The ADA (American Disabilities Act) requires employers to make reasonable effort to either change things in your current job to allow you to continue to work effectively or to transfer you to a job within the company that will fit within your abilities.
In my case, I lost my job because I had very adverse reactions to some of the medications I was put on (the "anti-anxiety" meds, some of which were actually anti-psycotics like Seroquel, had the opposite effect) and I had an unfortunate altercation with my manager before they realized what the meds had done to me. I doubt that will occur to you as I'm told this reaction is quite rare...
In any case, I hope this helps and apologies for the book.

 

[Tessie Burton]

Hi Everyone,
I am going through such a nightmare and would normally never open up about it to anyone except maybe a couple of family members. But I thought someone here may have some good advice for me and I might be able to eventually help someone else with that information, so here goes:

I'm self diagnosed female Asperger's/High Functioning Autism. I recently saw that a female with the syndrome doesn't necessarily look like the typical male Aspie. And once I knew that having extreme empathy and not knowing how to apply it is a hallmark feature of female Asperger's, I knew that was me because everything else on the list was also a perfect fit. Difficult childhood with domineering father (with undiagnosed Asperger's), suppressing myself until teenage years and then running away from home, several traumatic relationships and after much soul searching have come to know who I really am underneath all the layers of trauma and suffering. Take heart, those of you with severe depression! There is hope, and sometimes just making peace with who you are can be such a relief that it seems worth all the pain. I am a whole person today, who has no bitterness for anyone in my life who has hurt me, I have a job with the same employer for over 25 years and I have three grown children who are all doing well. I thank God my Savior because He is good, and things could be so much worse.

My problem currently is that after my medical transcription job was phased out three years ago, I was able to land a job in the lab (of the major trauma center I worked for) at the age of 50. I currently three years later am under multiplied stress and the job is so extremely demanding that I have made five different documented labeling/processing errors in the last three months and I am facing disciplinary action up to and including termination if the errors continue. I was presented with paperwork to sign, indicating that I had been made aware of where I stand. I KNOW I have sensory processing problems/short-term memory problems that are longstanding. My work in medical transcription did not bring these issues out and I was aware of them all along, I didn't know the cause until now. I had a panic reaction upon learning about the turning point at work and my physician told me I had to stay away from work for 10 days and be referred for psychosocial evaluation, she also thinks I have sensory processing issues. I am now wondering how I can avoid disciplinary action if this job is just too much for me given my disabilities, since I can't even apply for a transfer within the company for a year if I am on probation due to disciplinary action. I have applied for multiple other jobs within the company but no success--i am up against lack of experience in other departments as well as my age of 53. Any suggestions? I see that it is not normal to be awarded disability due to memory and sensory processing issues. Plus I was told the autism diagnosis process would require significant out-of-pocket cash which i don't have.

Feeling under the gun only stresses me out more, causing more confusion and mistakes and forgetfulness...today is my birthday and I am praying for some help with these problems. I am having trouble with my heart racing and muscles clenching...I am not a bad employee at all, hard worker, very conscientious. It KILLS me to think I can't perform well at work and would do anything possible to get past this.

 

[Tessie Burton]

Happy belated birthday Amy!

It pains me to read this. I too am self-diagnosed. I tested 41 out of 50 on the autistic quotient test. I’m 56, wasn’t officially diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD until my early 50’s. I confided in my doctor my lack of focus at work. I was making silly mistakes and it felt like everyone around me was on my lap. That triggered a series of questions from him. “How were your grades in school”? Not good came my reply. “What were your grades”? C’s, D’s and F’s, I said.

I mentioned my inability to focus in class and dropped out my junior year. Afterwards, I attended the GED program at the Vo-tech. Three months later I tested for my diploma passing with good grades. The small classes, minimal noise, one-on-one with a teacher…it made a huge difference.

Never once had it occurred to me I was suffering from these very well-known issues? Albeit, not well known in my adolescence. I attributed life as being hard for some, easy for others. I was very good at hiding my struggles, trying to “fit in”, no one knew what I was going through. I wouldn’t have known had I not confided in my doctor.

After seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis for PTSD and ADHD I’m happy to say my life has gotten much better.

Amy I was 51 years old before learning the mistakes I made were attributed to these issues. Might you have something more going on than you’re aware?

Good luck and God’s Blessings.

 

[Amy B]

I know from experience that you feel it was anything but happy else you would not have been on here. I can feel your frustration from here. All of the responses by the other members were excellent ideas yet I have the feeling that you've tried, or feel that you've tried, most of them.

Oh you are so right on...this is exactly how I feel. The present situation is above and beyond all my carefully cultivated coping mechanisms.

The FMLA leave and going through the hoops for a diagnosis is a great idea and I have been leaning toward that line of reasoning but you, Tessie Burton, Chance and others have put my feelings and experience into words so very perfectly. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, and feel as though everyone I've met so far on this forum is already a friend. All God's best blessings to each of you. I hope I can offer others some helpful input in return. I have a doctor's appointment today and a psychiatrist appointment this next Monday. When I have any news I will update this thread.

 

[sKeptic]

Big big isolating headphones should help a lot if you are allowed to wear it at the workplace. You could forward incoming calls to your cellphone and make it vibrate or blink or play some relaxing music into headphones or something else that will not stress you.
Other that that I hope you'll find a better job, this one sounds really terrible.

 

[Amy B]

Happy belated birthday Amy!

It pains me to read this. I too am self-diagnosed. I tested 41 out of 50 on the autistic quotient test. I’m 56, wasn’t officially diagnosed with ADHD and PTSD until my early 50’s. I confided in my doctor my lack of focus at work. I was making silly mistakes and it felt like everyone around me was on my lap. That triggered a series of questions from him. “How were your grades in school”? Not good came my reply. “What were your grades”? C’s, D’s and F’s, I said.

I mentioned my inability to focus in class and dropped out my junior year. Afterwards, I attended the GED program at the Vo-tech. Three months later I tested for my diploma passing with good grades. The small classes, minimal noise, one-on-one with a teacher…it made a huge difference.

Never once had it occurred to me I was suffering from these very well-known issues? Albeit, not well known in my adolescence. I attributed life as being hard for some, easy for others. I was very good at hiding my struggles, trying to “fit in”, no one knew what I was going through. I wouldn’t have known had I not confided in my doctor.

After seeing a psychiatrist on a regular basis for PTSD and ADHD I’m happy to say my life has gotten much better.

Amy I was 51 years old before learning the mistakes I made were attributed to these issues. Might you have something more going on than you’re aware?

Good luck and God’s Blessings.

Tessie, thank you and blessings back to you. So glad your life has improved since experiencing these heart-wrenching difficulties. Your words are very encouraging and helpful...your ideas and those of others here will be so helpful in my upcoming meetings

 

[Amy B]

Big big isolating headphones should help a lot if you are allowed to wear it at the workplace. You could forward incoming calls to your cellphone and make it vibrate or blink or play some relaxing music into headphones or something else that will not stress you.
Other that that I hope you'll find a better job, this one sounds really terrible.

sKeptic, that sounds great and I think big headphones would actually make me feel much more comfortable in the job. Unfortunately we have to keep eyes and ears open for anyone coming in to the lab who may need help in any way, need directions or have something to drop off to the lab. There can be no buffer between us and the public at all and that is one of the reasons why this job IS, as you said, terrible for me.