Would This Bother You?

[Southern Discomfort]

I think I'd wonder what's the problem but I wouldn't bother me majority. I'm used to people treating me like a teenager in a group of adults, it's not anything new to me.

 

[Loomis]

I actually find great comfort reading about Buddhism. I have several books by Thick Nhat Hanh and HH The Dalai Lama. The problem is I have been isolated for too long and don't know how to respond to people but then I never have. When I married 43 years ago I took over the ranching while my husband (also an aspie) worked away from home. The cattle, sheep and horses kept me busy and away from people which suited me just fine. But now I'm retired, 65, and we moved to another very small town and I'm having panic attacks if I have to be around people. I was bullied terribly all through school and college and the memories don't seem to go away. I've found that the only things I seem to be good with are animals and machines (I could kit a Holley 4 barrel when I was 18 and was drag racing). I also am at peace in nature- just having lots of trouble even talking to people.

Becoming comfortable with people takes practice. I can fully understand your anxiety around people after being isolated for forty years and having had bad experiences prior to your marriage. Small towns do not offer much in the way of choices for interaction with people. In some ways cities are easier for aspies because people are more anonymous. I live in a small town near a big city. In town people expect more friendly responses whereas in the city there is no need to show any reaction at all; friendly responses are optional.

I wish you well and hope you can find a low risk safe place where you feel more comfortable around others.

 

[Progster]

It wouldn't bother me at all; on the contrary, I'd be thankful that she didn't try to start up a conversation.

I rarely talk to people in waiting rooms. I just want to be left alone to listen to music. I don't think there's any obligation to talk to people.

She might have picked up something in your body language that you don't want to talk - perhaps you avoided eye contact? I think that others can often sense whether people want to talk or not.