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Would you prefer a painful truth or a horrible lie?

lovely_darlingprettybaby

lovely_darlingprettybaby

Well-Known Member
I would prefer a painful truth and if it has to be painful then at least find a nice way to disclose it.
If someone loves you they will tell you the truth always and never try to conceal anything and if you struggle with things they understand and love you in spite of it
Because it is not evil to struggle and you go to bed at peace if you at least have an honest heart each day and do your best to be a kind person.
No one should shame you for that. To struggle is not evil, it is human same as feeling pain and having feelings
 
Painful truth. Because if someone lies to me and I discover the lie, then I have not only the painful truth to deal with, but also the betrayal of that person I trusted. Betrayal is hard to bear and the bitterest of truths.
 
I don't really understand the question, as if the lie is also horrible, why would i prefer to be lied to?

If it is to be understood as a white lie vs. Harsh truth type of thing i would prefer a white lie. If someone lies to you to not hurt you you can always create a diff. Scenario in your head to deal with it. "If they told the truth to me things could be so much better."

But if the other person told me the harsh truth i might not be able to deal with it. Bc they already told the truth there is no room for other imagined scenarios
 
After promoting my own trauma by lieing to myself, the truth about my social dysfunction when I did not know I was autistic was hard to bear, but I had to face it to grow and break out of my cage. Happily I was involved as a friend to an older hippie couple who taught me a lot about acceptance.
 
It depends on what it is. Sometimes believing in a lie is much better than telling the truth. It’s hard to explain but this makes sense to me. As an abuse victim, there were times where it actually didn’t matter if I told the truth or not because I was most likely going to be screamed at again and hit no matter what. The only difference was the amount of abuse and how long it lasted. Knowing the truth could even be more traumatic than believing a lie. Victims of abuse often make up events after being abused as a coping mechanism and force themselves to believe that they aren’t being abused. It just makes being abused somewhat more tolerable because in their minds it can’t be abuse if they pretend it never happened or lessen it to be less serious and even trivial such as they are being hit because their abuser “loves” them and they (the victim) did something wrong and deserved to be punished. The victim can’t confront a serious issue that is constantly happening to them if it doesn’t exist to them. Forcing them to admit the truth about the abuse before they are ready to do it will only cause the victim to refuse to talk about it and continue to pretend that nothing is wrong because they aren’t mentally or emotionally ready to face the harsh truth. All the victim wants is to have people stop asking questions and let them cope with the abuse whatever way they found works best at diminishing it until they are ready to talk about it.
 
What is a horrible lie? If I have to pick a horrible truth and a horrible lie then wouldn't I want the truth? If they're both horrible anyway?

If it's a painful truth and a comforting lie then my answer might change though.
 
lovely_darlingprettybaby said:
I would prefer a painful truth and if it has to be painful then at least find a nice way to disclose it.
If someone loves you they will tell you the truth always and never try to conceal anything and if you struggle with things they understand and love you in spite of it
Because it is not evil to struggle and you go to bed at peace if you at least have an honest heart each day and do your best to be a kind person.
No one should shame you for that. To struggle is not evil, it is human same as feeling pain and having feelings
Click to expand...
Given that a horrible lie will be even more painful in the end, the painful truth wins hands down. You can work with o a truth but a lie doesn't give you the information you need to either adjust yourself to a new reality or to repair the situation.

There are lies that are not horrible. Sometimes you're not ready to handle the truth.
 
Gerald Wilgus said:
After promoting my own trauma by lieing to myself, the truth about my social dysfunction when I did not know I was autistic was hard to bear, but I had to face it to grow and break out of my cage. Happily I was involved as a friend to an older hippie couple who taught me a lot about acceptance.
Click to expand...
Agreed...

You have rational ppl, and you have ppl who live their lives primarily through their emotions.
Accepting there is a problem/deficit allows a person to modify their own expectations and behaviours.
Better that than continually bashing your head against a brick wall, IMO. ;)
 
I'm often much more honest than most people find palatable. If you don't want to know then you probably shouldn't ask. I find that a lot of the time I can tell the absolute truth because most people will assume it's all lies and exaggerations. I can get away with a lot because I'm used to dealing with people from all walks of life. I have actual experience instead of a whole heap of preconceived ideas.

Which brings me around to a suggestion I want to make to @lovely_darlingprettybaby

You ask a lot of very bourgeoisé questions that demonstrate your lack of familiarity with the general population of the world. You should get out more, meet more people from outside your seemingly limited social circle. There's a lot of people living very different lives to your own but most of them are truly wonderful people once you learn to accept them on their terms instead of yours.

In the end, people are just people.

[Edit] P.S. I say this because you seem to have a good heart and I think you really care about people but your scope is limited.
 
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Both situations I find disturbing. If there is a terrible truth, I have no time to waste on the situation. If controversely, there is a white lie, my time is wasted as well.

It's not always a matter of emotion. Sometimes I'm shocked not because of emotion, but because of the ridiculousness of a situaton.

Sometimes, though, people have to lie to protect themselves from abuse or someone else from abuse.
 
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