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Would you Rather Date a...

Would you prefer to date an NT or another Aspie?

  • NT

    Votes: 7 15.2%

  • Aspie

    Votes: 20 43.5%

  • Depends on the gender of partner

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Undiagnosed Aspie

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Not Aspie, but not quite NT either

    Votes: 6 13.0%

  • Other

    Votes: 13 28.3%
  • Total voters
    46
I don't care about the person's neurotype, only that we can connect and work well together, share feelings of love and affection.
 
I tend to think another aspie will understand where i'm coming from.

sure, relationships with NTs are possible, but i'm not one to hunt unicorns.
 
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Being alone is the pentultimate expression of the self. Relationships are a drag, at least for me. I can't trust anyone enough to form a meaningful bond because of my anxiety of being screwed over. I was messed with so much as a kid and teenager that I end up analyzing, scrutinizing, and reading too much into all the minute details of texts and messages, even the slightest changes of her face, and body a la Bene Gesserit cold reading. At this point I enjoy meditation more than sex.
 
I'm AS and contrary to popular belief, not gay, but would I date another AS female? Probably not to be honest, especially if she was low functioning, call me big headed if you like but I tend not to mix well with lower functioning people, I prefer to mix with people who can at least hold a coherent conversation.
 
I've never gotten to date anyone like me, I've always fallen in with girls who were neurotypical yet exceptional in that they could get overlook my little eccentricities. I only learned about Asperger's phenomenon a couple years ago, and now that I know I don't think I've met one Aspie female. And I rarely go out, don't keep friends really, & hate dating so...yeah. even though I think it would be ideal to be with someone that genuinely GETS me I have no idea how I could ever conceivably bring it about.
 
So, personally. I don't know about dating another aspie. sure, they understand you better than any NT would, but wouldn't dating an NT help be a "bridge" of sorts between you and the outside world?

What are some experiences with this, and which is often considered the better option?
 
I'd like to think aspie (diagnosed or undiagnosed unimportant), but neither has really worked so I don't know. One thing I did notice, is there is/was an Autism Dating site, and when I did a search in my area, probably half the people on the first few pages were people I had dated over the years. Pretty considerable since I'd only dated about a dozen people in my lifetime.
 
I am NT and all my past relationships have been with other NTs but I recently meet someone aspie that i have strong feelings for. It can be extremely frustrating trying to communicate with him because he lives 600 miles away and not very good with communication over the phone. However when I am with them we have a strange connection almost like a 6th sense where we just know what each other is thinking and its indescribably amazing. I dont think i could ever have this type of connection with another NT. It could be because i am in my 30s now and have been in many relationships with other NTs over the years and so now I am just bored with NTs. I love the uniqueness aspies bring to the relationship that make it more exciting.
 
I would probably date anybody willing to look past my condition & awkwardness, you would think somebody similarly afflicted would be the best bet but that's very few & far between. I am pretty much invisible to everybody.
 
I don’t mind if your either autism or neurotypical, of course both have their pros and cons in relationships but I think as long as the people in the relationship help work it out, then they should be fine.
 
I've only just discovered I'm on the spectrum (wow, everything suddenly makes sense!) and I have just come out of a 14 year long relationship with the most extroverted NT imaginable. The life of the party, the one who needs to be around people 24/7. It was exhausting, but luckily he understood my need for solitude often. In our case, it mostly worked due to opposites attracting. I still need a long time to heal, won't date for at least the next year or so (he of course moved on almost right away, he doesn't 'do' alone) but when I do decide to date again, I'm not sure. The thought of an ASD person appeals because they would 'get' me, but also I think that if there were two of us in a relationship, we'd probably never leave the house. I think I benefit from being made to come out of my shell from time to time. I think we have much to learn from NTs just as they have much to learn from us.
 
I think I'd marginally prefer to date another aspie, so we could best understand each other, but only if they're empathetic and enjoy physical touch.

I possess both qualities, and would like them, in a partner.
 
I wish I could date a hot robot that looked like a hot human that was programmed enough to like me and complement me, lol.

If you haven't already, play/read Perfect Match from the Choices app.
 
What a fascinating read this is and interesting for me to think about my own feelings on this. I'm not really in the market. I've been single a long time now after a life-changing bad relationship and I'm pretty happy on my own. But I do occasionally think that 'ideally' I would like to have someone to share my life with so I remain open in case I meet the right person.

To the question...I don't know any diagnosed aspies (who aren't related to me :P). For that reason, as well as because I've spent my whole life trying to understand, and be like NT's, I feel as though I would prefer an NT. I feel as though I know them better. But who knows, right?

Sidenote: I'm tired of having my quirks pointed out like they are a bad thing. I worry about that with NT's. Then again, an aspie in my family also finds me annoying sometimes so maybe I am...hehehe
 
Although we all here are mature enough to recognize each person is different from one another, be they Neurotypicals or Aspergers, I would say I would have a preference for my own kind, i.e Aspie.
The fact is I really doubt NTs are able to understand me or people like me, and share similar behavior, interests, values, creeds etc.; and since I believe "Birds of a feather flock together" and similar people stay together, I would prefer a woman on the ASD spectrum, because I believe she would understand me and accept me for who I am.
Similar people should stick together. I'm not telling anyone to agree with me here, but think about that.
 
NT- no. I can't keep interested with NT's. But weird people in general, yah. Aspies- mm, depends. I tend to get very easily irritated by aspie guys. I don't like anyone too loud or brash, and I like sensitivity and affection. Really depends on the person.
 
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