Would you take a magic pill to permanently transform into an NT?

[DuckRabbit]

Do you think it is an ASC trait to take you as they find you, regardless of what anyone has said to them about you, and a NT trait to change their attitude towards you depending on the last person who's spoken to them about you? Or would you say these are individual differences, not necessarily distinguishable by neurotypicality and neurodiversity?

 

[DuckRabbit]

Individual differences, influenced more by experience than anything else (which skews things in favor of neurodiverse people, but as a sort of side effect rather than because of being neurodiverse. Neurotypical people who have significant experiences of being unfairly judged would be just as likely as neurodiverse people to take others as they find them, I think.)

Why does it skew things in favour of neuro-diverse people? Surely neuro-diverse people have more experiences of being unfairly judged. Or do you mean it is favourable for the neuro-diverse people that they tend to take others as they find them?
Good point that if you've been unfairly judged, you'll know not to do that to others. But possibly it could work the opposite way as well: some people who are unfairly judged may do this towards other people as a form of retaliation or out of vengeance ('the bullied becomes a bully').
I find many people are alarmingly susceptible to hear-say (gossip) about others - changing their views depending on the last person they've spoken. Whereas to me, I would just wonder about the motives of the gossip ('gossiper'?). Their gossip would sooner change my view of them, rather than the person they are trying to besmirch.

 

[the_tortoise]

Why does it skew things in favour of neuro-diverse people? Surely neuro-diverse people have more experiences of being unfairly judged. Or do you mean it is favourable for the neuro-diverse people that they tend to take others as they find them?

I just meant that neurodiverse people are more often unfairly judged, so neurodiverse people would be more likely to take others as they find them. Sorry for not being clear there.

Good point that if you've been unfairly judged, you'll know not to do that to others. But possibly it could work the opposite way as well: some people who are unfairly judged may do this towards other people as a form of retaliation or out of vengeance ('the bullied becomes a bully').

That's also a very good point, one I didn't think of. If I may add to your point, I think people who repeat (instead of avoid) unfair judgement after experiencing it themselves could also do so not as a form of vengence, but as defensiveness (sort of like " I judge you before you judge me" or "I judge you too because you're going to judge me"). Or even just because the person never questions whether you should judge people, just learns that's what people do and assumes everyone does it.

 

[Blue]

No but I take several pills for depression, anxiety and PTSD already. I wish those worked better.

 

[DuckRabbit]

that's what people do

So true - so many people don't think further than the 'done' thing. No critical thought or questioning of assumptions. Here is an example of someone with social power who is abusing someone they've obviously deemed 'kickable':

Why has my friend turned against me?
Dear BEL
I was once close friends with a single woman who lives opposite. But now she only contacts me when she wants something, and the way she speaks to me is quite high-handed and rude.
I find it quite difficult to say no when she asks me to do anything.
On Sunday she came round asking for the spare keys as she’d locked herself out. I tried to explain she took them back four years ago, but she was welcome to come in and ring a locksmith. She just walked away.
She told our elderly neighbour that I had thrown her keys away and all we cared about was ourselves. This situation is upsetting and I just want her out of my life.
HILARY

Bel Mooney's response:
Before I go any further, here is another short note about a friendship problem:
‘I have been bullied and hounded out of a voluntary position in a charity shop by a couple of retired women — the most hurtful thing being that we used to be friends.
‘Now, they have cut me dead and I felt I had no choice but to leave the work I’ve enjoyed for five years.
‘It was totally a misunderstanding, and from my perspective, a storm in a teacup. Another “friend” took sides so I am totally isolated. I feel badly let down by these so-called “friends” and hope they get their comeuppance. Please advise. Lorraine.’

Strangely I don’t receive many problems like these. I always used to advise my kids to make distinctions between proper friends and what I dubbed ‘warm acquaintances’. Real friends are the ones to bother about; the rest, not so much.
The thing is, once you realise that you shouldn’t let them loom so large in your life, it’s easier to take deep, calming breaths and tell yourself that, since they don’t matter so much, they can’t really hurt you.
Take these two cases. Hilary’s problem is with a neighbour. Lorraine’s with women she met while volunteering in a shop. Both of you were friendly with the women, as is right and proper.
In both cases something clearly went badly wrong — probably careless words. Many people are blunt when they should be tactful. Here’s a mantra: ‘If it ain’t kind, keep your mouth shut!’
Both situations are distressing and hurtful, and I feel sympathy for both of you. It is certainly easier for Lorraine, because presumably by leaving your job you have removed the need to see the other women any more.
But you, Hilary, live opposite your neighbour, so how can you remove her from your life? Better by far to make up with her, somehow. Your uncut email suggests you made yourself a victim in the past by being the weaker one in the relationship. Now the woman is telling fibs about you. So what are you going to do?
I suggest you go across the road and say you regret the misunderstanding, but would it be a good idea if she had a key cut for you to hold, in case of need, for deliveries etc?
Say you will buy a special fob so it never gets lost. Simple and practical is the way forward. This is not important enough to become upset about. Think of your neighbour as perhaps being lonely and disappointed with life, and that may help you put up with her. With a shrug.
As for you, Lorraine, my only advice is that you stop wishing an unpleasant ‘comeuppance’ upon these three ladies who have cut you off so hurtfully.
That blast of negativity won’t hurt them one jot — but it does hurt you, because it rubs salt in your wounds. Bitterness will make your heart permanently heavy, so forget them.
Since it’s marvellous to volunteer, and as a society we need such good, motivated people as yourself, I suggest you walk away from this problem by finding yourself another voluntary job and meeting some new people.
Both of you, instead of being angry, see how you can take control of the situation and make a new start.
Read more: BEL MOONEY: I’m feeling trapped caring for older lover | Daily Mail Online

I don't agree with Bel Mooney’s advice to go back in for another kick. I would cut her dead! That can be easier said than done though if you have less social power, which many people on the spectrum do, and everyone is believing her rather than you. Often advice dished out by NTs does not work for ASC individuals.

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

I have to say that I'm not surprised by the answers so far, so if most aspies/auties don't wish to become NT, why are there NTs that are obsessed with finding a "cure" that barely anyone would want? .

Because organizations such as Autism Speaks do NOT seek out our opinion.

 

[HermanHesse]

I don't understand the reticence to take the pill. Aspies have a huge tendency towards joblessness, depression and suicide. At thirteen I decided to never breed because I didn't want my kid to have to endure what I endured. I decided to become pro-choice because of those formative years.

Why the embrace of something that makes so many people so unhappy?

 

[Misery]

I don't understand the reticence to take the pill. Aspies have a huge tendency towards joblessness, depression and suicide. At thirteen I decided to never breed because I didn't want my kid to have to endure what I endured. I decided to become pro-choice because of those formative years.

Why the embrace of something that makes so many people so unhappy?

Because not everyone is made unhappy by it. The idea that everyone with autism is miserable is a myth.

I have it, but it does not destroy my life. It makes me who I am, and in alot of ways, by having it I feel like I dodged a bullet. I see what so-called "normal" people are like, and what society is like, and I shudder to think that I *could* have been like them.

Honestly, if anyone offered me the pill, I'd just throw things at them until they went away. If anyone tried to force me to take such a thing, I'd become extremely violent to defend myself, as I dont want my personality to be forever corrupted... which is how I'd view it.

For others of course, all of this is not necessarily the case. Autism manifests itself in many different ways, which is part of why there are many different views on this.

 

[LadyBird84]

Most of the time I would say no, but sometimes I think it would make my life easier. But does easier mean it's better? I could change my life to be easier right now (find a job that's not so overwhelming at times or quit my job and rely fully on benefits) but I don't want to do that either.

 

[Forgotten Aspie]

There is no "perfect life" - My autism is mild - I've adapted or learned to cope with the problems it causes - I'm always curious so if I could walk a day in the NT shoes kind of thing, I'd would, but I'd also like to walk a day in the shoes of someone with more severe symptoms of autism. I trained dogs for the blind for a number of years, and part of our training was to be blindfolded a week and become one of the "students". Live in the dorms, ride the transport buses, eat with the students etc.. I did not cheat and from Sunday Morning to Friday afternoon - I did not use my sight. I learned a lot from that and know I would being NT or more "autistic" too.. But bottom line - I'm ok with who I am now.

 

[Frostee]

Yes, of course!

 

[Frostee]

There is no "perfect life" - My autism is mild - I've adapted or learned to cope with the problems it causes - I'm always curious so if I could walk a day in the NT shoes kind of thing, I'd would, but I'd also like to walk a day in the shoes of someone with more severe symptoms of autism. I trained dogs for the blind for a number of years, and part of our training was to be blindfolded a week and become one of the "students". Live in the dorms, ride the transport buses, eat with the students etc.. I did not cheat and from Sunday Morning to Friday afternoon - I did not use my sight. I learned a lot from that and know I would being NT or more "autistic" too.. But bottom line - I'm ok with who I am now.

Even if it is mild, do you not think that people misinterpret you and so you have difficulties socialising because of that?

 

[AO1501]

Even if it is mild, do you not think that people misinterpret you and so you have difficulties socialising because of that?

That presupposes that NTs are not constantly misinterpreting each other too. It always has seemed to me that they were. My former wife of 15 years was constantly misjudging other people, so becoming an NT would not have resolved her misinterpretation of me in any meaningful way.

In the broader sense, I wouldn't take that pill under any circumstance. I has a very hard childhood, was bulled mercilessly and heard my mother tell a friend of hers when I was 6 that she wished I was dead. I knew I was odd and difficult, and different, but what that has also done is make me capable of things I would never have been able to be otherwise.

yes, there are some drawbacks. I get jammed and have processing problems when I am overwhelmed with a few concurrent minor issues, and I have problems being unable to filter what I hear. I am face blind, I can't do social stuff and I like being alone. I need routines and I am very averse to change. But on the other hand I am a superb strategist, I have encyclopedic knowledge of one of my special interests that has proven very useful to a large number of people, and I can focus on complex tasks for days until they are done.

I like the person I am, even though it took a long time to get to that point. And I realise that if I really want to spend time with others, Aspies are good people to get to know.

 

[Tom]

No. But I would take a pill to turn me into a Decorator Crab.

 

[Smiley]

Something about greener grass on the other side....

I have no diagnosis - I'm just eccentric and antisocial, so I'll not answer for myself, but I'll answer the question about children. If I had never been around people with autism and didn't know better, I might give my young child a cure pill, but since my oldest son has had autism his whole life and he's a really fascinating and talented guy, I'm glad I know better. If a cure were offered to my youngest son, who has recently been diagnosed, I'd refuse it. Better to let individuals be individuals, even if it causes some discomfort. Every human on earth has a purpose.

 

[Lichi]

I like to think that my world as an Aspie is my Wonderland.

Despite the hardships I have experienced, and still coming to terms with discovering I’m an Aspie, it would be much more difficult to un-be who I am. All the adaptations I have made to my life have all made me who I am. I like me, more than anything else. The world I have created in my head is a beautiful space and it’s not a place I would like to leave to be with everyone else.

 

[Veruca Salt]

In a heartbeat!!!

and I don't believe anyone who says differently. cognitive dissonance 100% imo

 

[DCA]

For me I think it really depends. I've told others that being on the spectrum for me has been both a blessing & a curse. A blessing because I value my intelligence & analytical skills the most, but a curse because I wish I was better at socializing & fitting in with society. I suppose if I could get all the benefits without losing my intelligence, I would do it. But if the cost was that I would "only" be of average intelligence, then the cost might be too high...

Damon.

 

[Veruca Salt]

For me I think it really depends. I've told others that being on the spectrum for me has been both a blessing & a curse. A blessing because I value my intelligence & analytical skills the most, but a curse because I wish I was better at socializing & fitting in with society. I suppose if I could get all the benefits without losing my intelligence, I would do it. But if the cost was that I would "only" be of average intelligence, then the cost might be too high...

Damon.

lol why do so many autistic people imagine themselves to be at some great intellectual advantage over NT's? The vast majority of Autists I have come across (and this would be a great many because of my special ed schooling, and my hobbies have often lead me to be around a lot of people with autism - gaming, chat rooms, sci fi stuff etc etc) are not smarter than anyone else. Often their belief that they were, made them much dumber in fact.

it's like this defense mechanism some of us put up to feel better about being disabled.
Autism is a disability, not an advantage.
smh

 

[clg114]

lol why do so many autistic people imagine themselves to be at some great intellectual advantage over NT's? The vast majority of Autists I have come across (and this would be a great many because of my special ed schooling, and my hobbies have often lead me to be around a lot of people with autism - gaming, chat rooms, sci fi stuff etc etc) are not smarter than anyone else. Often their belief that they were, made them much dumber in fact.

it's like this defense mechanism some of us put up to feel better about being disabled.
Autism is a disability, not an advantage.
smh

I would like to respectfully disagree with you. I have made a good living all of my life because I can do things that others can not. Sure there are disadvantages to being on the spectrum, but in my mind, the advantages out weight the disadvantages by a long shot. I can do what I can do because of autism.

As far as disability is concerned, I am not disabled in any way. I have never even been on unemployment, much less gotten help from anyone. In fact, a lot of people come to me for help. I like being a Aspie.