Yeah I'm not new to this.

[Hartley]

Hello and welcome to aspie central!

 

[whatever]

Hey hey

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Hello. Thanks for getting some frustration out of your system. Personally, I rather you get it out here in writing, on occasion, than at other places. We all get frustrated time to time, and need to vent. I do not know any Aspie that does not get frustrated. I have Aspie traits, but never been diagnosed. Think I just had the severe social anxiety, and OCD traits.

And thanks for telling us things you like, like music, puzzles and logic stuff. My older 7-year old son and I are into that stuff. He loves any type of music with hard beat, as he likes dancing to it. He loves to sing as well. Any type of logical stuff and puzzles he likes, whether on his IPad, from his apps there, or like math stuff. He likes things that challenge him.

 

[Nitro]

We have very strict rules here about posting obscenities.
I suggest you read the information I sent you.

There are also rules against discussing moderation of members posts on this forum as well.

If you don't want to follow the rules in place here,I suggest you find another community that will accept the way you feel.

 

[whatever]

At last the Iron Fist is unsleeved.

 

[whatever]

Hello. Thanks for getting some frustration out of your system. Personally, I rather you get it out here in writing, on occasion, than at other places. We all get frustrated time to time, and need to vent. I do not know any Aspie that does not get frustrated. I have Aspie traits, but never been diagnosed. Think I just had the severe social anxiety, and OCD traits.

And thanks for telling us things you like, like music, puzzles and logic stuff. My older 7-year old son and I are into that stuff. He loves any type of music with hard beat, as he likes dancing to it. He loves to sing as well. Any type of logical stuff and puzzles he likes, whether on his IPad, from his apps there, or like math stuff. He likes things that challenge him.

Thanks for your understanding, and your consideration more fundamentally. It seems I may need an advocate when I'm strung up for disruption. Also, Admin's title is "Immoral Turpitude" HAHAHA. Maybe jus jealous cause I do it for real. At least I take responsibility for my self-contradictions. Ain't that right?


Your son sounds like a cool kid. Really reminds me of me though I'm sure he's unique. Don't let him stop challenging himself even when it scares you. That would be fearing the future.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I forgot to say good luck at the interviews, too. That was one of the several things about jobs that stressed me much. I mean the interviewer wanting to hear certain things and in certain ways, and that was not me. I guess we have to lie in order to get the job sometimes. The best at lying on that day wins. That is what interviews are like I guess. I felt like saying, "Just give me the job so I can quit in a few days after your employees avoid me and tick me off." Just kidding though. Really, I hope you find a job you like, as that can relieve the stress.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Thanks for your understanding, and your consideration more fundamentally. It seems I may need an advocate when I'm strung up for disruption. Also, Admin's title is "Immoral Turpitude" HAHAHA. Maybe jus jealous cause I do it for real. At least I take responsibility for my self-contradictions. Ain't that right?


Your son sounds like a cool kid. Really reminds me of me though I'm sure he's unique. Don't let him stop challenging himself even when it scares you. That would be fearing the future.

Thanks. He has Autism, and is on the higher end, but really likes doing things his way. I respect that. I was into math too, but he has this uniqueness about him I like. He rather have a rock or make science experiments with shampoo and hair spray, than watch the lake. Things like that are fascinating.

 

[whatever]

damn u just spoke to my biggest concern over the last week. Honestly I don't prepare much for interviews. Like rehearsal is foreign. I just focus on being relaxed and real. If I do that they generally go very well. The only bad interviews I've had were where the person obviously did not like me for indelible reasons I could do nothing about OR because I got nervous. For example, an interviewer once asked me which version of unix I used with a suggestion contrary to what I was using at the time, and I affirmed it by just repeating Open BSD. I was so embarassed when I echoed the last word he repeated that I didn't correct myself. I felt seriously flawed at that moment, like I had a disease that made me second-guess and sabotage myself.


The best interview I ever had I was totally bluntly honest and it started with me leaving a shift early at a job I didn't like, walking into a building off the street and asking for a job I knew I deserved. It was a technician job with some software and some SMD work (I was working in a messy ass bakery until then), the guy wasn't looking to hire, and his initial reaction was not surprisingly errrr... rejectory. It was not a suit and tie moment, and in the course of being honest and just telling him who I was and what I'd been doing I probably offended every corporate businessy sensibility in the process, just by being honest about what I had been living through ATM (it involved quite a bit of illegal shht.) I was never so well rewarded for being honest, as well as flawlessly passing his quizzes on the spot.

I don't know who I have to "be" tomorrow. I just know I'm both tired of BSing and being BSed, and that I need work.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

damn u just spoke to my biggest concern over the last week. Honestly I don't prepare much for interviews. Like rehearsal is foreign. I just focus on being relaxed and real. If I do that they generally go very well. The only bad interviews I've had were where the person obviously did not like me for indelible reasons I could do nothing about OR because I got nervous. For example, an interviewer once asked me which version of unix I used with a suggestion contrary to what I was using at the time, and I affirmed it by just repeating Open BSD. I was so embarassed when I echoed the last word he repeated that I didn't correct myself. I felt seriously flawed at that moment, like I had a disease that made me second-guess and sabotage myself.


The best interview I ever had I was totally bluntly honest and it started with me leaving a shift early at a job I didn't like, walking into a building off the street and asking for a job I knew I deserved. It was a technician job with some software and some SMD work (I was working in a messy ass bakery until then), the guy wasn't looking to hire, and his initial reaction was not surprisingly errrr... rejectory. It was not a suit and tie moment, and in the course of being honest and just telling him who I was and what I'd been doing I probably offended every corporate businessy sensibility in the process, just by being honest about what I had been living through ATM (it involved quite a bit of illegal shht.) I was never so well rewarded for being honest, as well as flawlessly passing his quizzes on the spot.

I don't know who I have to "be" tomorrow. I just know I'm both tired of BSing and being BSed, and that I need work.

I agree being relaxed is very important for interviews, and that was my biggest problem then all those years. The more relaxed I tried to be the worse my anxiety became. It was only after self-help stuff many years later did I learn how to relax.

I guess it depends on the interviewer sometimes whether being totally honest would work, as some could like that refreshing honesty, but other times an interviewer will want a potential employee to kiss their rear and have traditional responses, or politically correct responses.

So, it can be tough to know exactly what to say at interviews, but in general, focus on your strengths. Most do not like hearing weaknesses, unless it shows you overcame adversity somehow.

I wish we all could just be ourself at interviews. Those are the jobs I would want to work for.

 

[whatever]

I agree being relaxed is very important for interviews, and that was my biggest problem then all those years. The more relaxed I tried to be the worse my anxiety became. It was only after self-help stuff many years later did I learn how to relax.

I guess it depends on the interviewer sometimes whether being totally honest would work, as some could like that refreshing honesty, but other times an interviewer will want a potential employee to kiss their rear and have traditional responses, or politically correct responses.

So, it can be tough to know exactly what to say at interviews, but in general, focus on your strengths. Most do not like hearing weaknesses, unless it shows you overcame adversity somehow.

I wish we all could just be ourself at interviews. Those are the jobs I would want to work for.

I totally agree. That said I'm not a stranger to being tactful and not afraid to qualify my insistence on being myself with understanding tact and appropriateness for the venue.

Also, it's not that money and prosperity change u. I focus on the fact that changing is what brings money and prosperity. I make sure my prospects know I can not only do the work, but I can be involved in all the ways that are necessary to improve business.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

I totally agree. That said I'm not a stranger to being tactful and not afraid to qualify my insistence on being myself with understanding tact and appropriateness for the venue.

Also, it's not that money and prosperity change u. I focus on the fact that changing is what brings money and prosperity. I make sure my prospects know I can not only do the work, but I can be involved in all the ways that are necessary to improve business.

It sounds like you have less problems at interviews than what I had, and that is great, as you got a good mix of honesty and being true to yourself, and balancing that with having tact. You probably are good at having that sense knowing when to do each for interviews.

For me, I showed tons of anxiety on the surface when I did all those interviews, and tried to have tact, but it did not fit who I was. I was asking them questions about like opportunities for advancement, and what my duties and responsibilities would be, like the books told me to say, but I looked abnormally shy, and how I spoke the words acted like I did not care.

But, if I would interview now, I think I would have that ability to be much more relaxed, and seem real yet deserving of the position. I no longer would apply for jobs beneath my abilities, like I did then, as if I have to deal with stress in the workplace, I might as well do something I like and am good at, and more based on my abilities. Otherwise, it is not worth it. I think for me though, I would gravitate to some business, where I can be my own boss.

 

[kay]

At last the Iron Fist is unsleeved.

Welcome. I used to dislike heavily moderated forums until I tried WP. As difficult as it is sometimes for me to edit my language (I "talk like a sailor" when I get wound up about politics and bad drivers) strict moderation does at least keep the trolls away. I have learned a lot on this forum that I couldn't on WP because on WP there was always someone just looking to fight. They'd interrupt most any conversation. Good luck with the interviews. I have no tips for you, I am terrible at interview type situations.

 

[whatever]

I would have that ability to be much more relaxed, and seem real yet deserving of the position. I no longer would apply for jobs beneath my abilities, like I did then, as if I have to deal with stress in the workplace, I might as well do something I like and am good at, and more based on my abilities. Otherwise, it is not worth it. I think for me though, I would gravitate to some business, where I can be my own boss.

Seems you have grown and are poised to continue growing. I also experienced this, and I arrived at a refusal to forsake my own intelligence for others' egos. I started a very precocious career being hazed during a promotion ceremony. Now if you want real perspective on the margins of what it feels like being taken advantage of, I come from time and place in the streets where I would have sent those people to the hospital. But I discover I'm good at something and now I just want to geek out. It feels crappy when you submit yourself to change and then have people try to roll over you in the same way you were told is no longer appropriate behavior. It makes you think "You wanna act bad? lemme show u how we handle this **** where I come from."

I had interviews where my future boss asked me "Are you sure you wouldn't rather be doing something more challenging?" But that wasn't the crux, it was being taken advantage of and doing ridiculous projects no one senior to me would do and that seemed odd for me as a junior technician, like single-handedly building a test lab. Okay I came to work so no complaints. No recognition, senior staff trashes the lab. Okay. But then other assignments I do and get reprimanded for taking on senior-someone else's work, when there were no such rules in place, I had access provided for my position, and that senior-someone else was nowhere to be found when our network operations center called from 3 states away for critical server maintenance. I would watch old heads in my department fail at solving problems, then cooly say, "mind if I take a crack at it?" Then afterward pretend I'd actually seen the system before. Other days I'd get hours of hardware maintenance sabotaged cause my boss assigned someone else to the same job without notice and that asshat installed mixed memory types on 50 systems...basic ****. I've dealt with untold buckets of **** in a short time. So I'd say I earned my confidence and my right to be who the hell I am.

When you decide you've had enough then you can definitely be your own boss and you will make things happen.

 

[Dadwith2Autisticsons]

Seems you have grown and are poised to continue growing. I also experienced this, and I arrived at a refusal to forsake my own intelligence for others' egos. I started a very precocious career being hazed during a promotion ceremony. Now if you want real perspective on the margins of what it feels like being taken advantage of, I come from time and place in the streets where I would have sent those people to the hospital. But I discover I'm good at something and now I just want to geek out. It feels crappy when you submit yourself to change and then have people try to roll over you in the same way you were told is no longer appropriate behavior. It makes you think "You wanna act bad? lemme show u how we handle this **** where I come from."

I had interviews where my future boss asked me "Are you sure you wouldn't rather be doing something more challenging?" But that wasn't the crux, it was being taken advantage of and doing ridiculous projects no one senior to me would do and that seemed odd for me as a junior technician, like single-handedly building a test lab. Okay I came to work so no complaints. No recognition, senior staff trashes the lab. Okay. But then other assignments I do and get reprimanded for taking on senior-someone else's work, when there were no such rules in place, I had access provided for my position, and that senior-someone else was nowhere to be found when our network operations center called from 3 states away for critical server maintenance. I would watch old heads in my department fail at solving problems, then cooly say, "mind if I take a crack at it?" Then afterward pretend I'd actually seen the system before. Other days I'd get hours of hardware maintenance sabotaged cause my boss assigned someone else to the same job without notice and that asshat installed mixed memory types on 50 systems...basic ****. I've dealt with untold buckets of **** in a short time. So I'd say I earned my confidence and my right to be who the hell I am.

When you decide you've had enough then you can definitely be your own boss and you will make things happen.

Yes, we are thankfully both doing good now, thanks to our hard work and efforts, and refocus. We personally had enough with traditional jobs, so that is where my wife and I are doing things different now and focusing on our 2 sons, my writings, and just having fun.

It is commendable despite being trying to be used or have been used throughout life, you have great talents and want to put your efforts there. I know things would have been even tougher for me had I come from tougher outside environments. We had a tough home environment mostly. The schools were semi-tough, but I managed.

No kidding about you earning your stripes in those ways. Those bosses and such likely had no clue what you went through, and are now going through with your condition, too. They expect people that came from different environments and have different conditions to do things everyone else is doing, and to think and feel that same way. That is called ignorance, and sometimes bigotry, when job people, etc., resort to thoughtlessness.

Sorry I have to cut this shorter, as heading out a couple of hours to take Aaron to his art class. Look forward to chatting again soon..

 

[Tyrantus1212]

Anyway, I guess I came here cause I reached a tipping point and I wanted to connect and see if I could learn something. But introspection has been feeling like the providence of privilege and comfort, and I don't really have time for that, or it belongs to people at their wits end. Might be why I'm here.

I like music, sometimes too much. If I hang around I might lurk some synesthesia threads. I'm also really into puzzles. Pretty much, no actually every game on my phone is some kinda weird logic game. I also like hanayama. I occasionally watch anime, but I really only watch to hear Japanese. It's hard to find a story I like.

I got a talent for language. I pick up accents pretty easy. Maybe there are some language nerds here. I actually love learning languages, but I haven't had the focus or made it important. I speak French, German, and Japanese with native accents, in that order of quality, but readin and writin is more work. I sometimes think once I get independent again and have more time that I'll have the patience.

yadda yadda... I'm here.

Welcome to AC whatever, you'll gain a lot of insight on Asperger's on here no doubt . I've been a member for less than a month and I already feel all the difference in the world! I used to think I was alone but I find more and more nice folks on here that I have so much in common with.

I like music too but only specific types of music; almost exclusively oldies from the 50's, 60's and 70's - rock and pop. I used to do puzzles all the time as a kid, including crosswords; I still do some crosswords nowadays. I'm into video games but only one or two at a time; I'm not good at multitasking.

I learn languages very quickly - both spoken and programming (I do software development for a living). I can too pick up on accents pretty easily. I know English, Russian (I'm from Russia but I've lived in the US for nearly 20 years) and Spanish, which I'm a bit rusty on as it's been years since I first studied it. I know multiple programming languages including C/C++, C#, Java, VB, Python, JavaScript and Objective C.

You said you've had a girlfriend; I never even dated and I'm almost 30. I can do some things independently but all in all I'm not very well adjusted. I still live over at my parents' home, never lived on my own. I don't have a lot of friends now and I used to have none for long stretches of time. I can get extremely clingy and needy when it comes to just the few I have because let's face it, me - having friends - just nothing short of a miracle, I'm very difficult to get along with but I always mean well. My social skills are off the chart terrible.

Anyway, short bio short; I wasn't formally diagnosed with Asperger's but I very much fit the profile and my therapist does agree. He and I are now working on managing it so that I can function well among NT's.