That statement reveals you have skills and talents. What are they? Name them here, so that they feel realer than the negative part of that sentence which is your habitual put down.
You are helping others. You can always help the poor. Right now. This minute.
You don't have to correct the errors that you made, only understand and learn from them. Forgive yourself for making them, not beat yourself up because you did.
One solution will be on Signal.
Sorry this is a long one.
I learnt to read when I think before I was two.
We were lucky in the sixties we had the silver age of comics, flawed superheroes, so children could emulate them and see how these heroes navigated their successes and failures and even get role models from them.
I have synaesthesia, I see what I hear, I see what I feel etc. I saw a speech bubble that reminded me of how my bottom felt when it hit the floor, I fell down a lot.
As well as calling me "The baby" my Dad criticised me for falling down all of the time.
I allowed my sensitivity to go from intuitiveness to hyper-emotionality and got really upset about these silly names.
My hyper emotionality was the thing that made me turn away from that speech bubble and the burgeoning reader in me vanished.
Comics are known to help autistic people learn cognitive empathy and so are graphic novels.
It breaks my heart to see the beautiful illustrations in the books I missed as a child.
Readers say that reading books as adults is not the same as when you are a child as your brain is developing.
My mum thought I was gifted, I may have said she mentioned I planned my dreams.
My Dad may well have had ASPD or NPD and he did not like to be outshone by a precocious toddler, whereas my mum marvelled at it.
I learnt to read before my sisters.
Reading can help autistics by increasing empathy.
I could have read to my sisters and taught them empathy.
Many will not believe in numerology but Pythagoras discovered that all numbers carry different energetic vibrations and my numerology chart shows highly psychic and intuitive potentialities in more than just my life path number 11 a master number.
My Dad was dangerous, we had to tiptoe around him, lest he explode with rage.
Had I of continued reading my intuition would have developed and my mum would have trusted innocent little me, warning her of the danger over him. She hesitated to marry him on her wedding day, she was pregnant and may have been under pressure from her catholic parents.
These parents could have rescued us. The reading would have made me resilient to withstand further traumas and be stronger for them and I would not be posting about wrong choices today.
Dad would have been out of our lives, as I would have foreseen the future, intuition is all over my numerology chart, and I would have warned her about the decades of misery and living in fear to come. Some toddlers are highly intuitive and can tell the future.
Her sister also married an abuser, but he left and she remarried.
This is the past but I feel the need to mention it as it is my talents.
Art also, but I grew up wanting to be good at sport, I was ashamed of my poor co-ordination. I wanted to be like my mediocre peers.
Had I of read literary fiction and comics I would have realised that its ok to be different, my Dad called me a weirdo which I got really upset about.
I mention being called "Baby" at the time there were comic strips most probably in our house as my bothers read them, with superhero babies - how ironic.
My goal in life was to avoid "being hit" by my Dad, I used to wet myself. I had no goals, I used peers as role models, got bullied and humiliated by them.
Teachers despaired of me.
Art-I liked it at school but school didn't teach us fundamental skills. It wasn't until I met a man called X in my late twenties who was excellent at art and introduced me to spirituality.
Before I met him I felt the "faulty" one in the family, as I thought six other family members can't be wrong.
I told him that I annoyed my mum, she said I deliberately annoyed her.
X taught me that my parents "lost it" that I was not the one at fault. They had no patience.
I wanted to be like him so I joined an art evening class where the fundamentals of art were taught and this is where my talent came out, my work was held up as exemplary.
I have always loved colour. I can paint and draw photo realistically. I was a psychedelic child, or I was meant to be, I wanted to have my ears pierced at 4 I am now 54, I always had a liking for gypsies, colour, etc, but it was latent, hidden.
I was meant to be a hippy child, the diametrically opposite of my Dad.
As for singing, I did not know I could sing until I was using an illicit drug that gave me false confidence and someone commented that I had perfect pitch.
A couple of bosses commented on it previously in work but I was too tied up with sexual harassment and workplace bullying.
Anyway, ever since more and more people have said I have a talent for singing. I have to be in a happy mood to sing though.
