I agree with you all that violence is unacceptable behavior, whether a person is autistic or not. However, I disagree with the idea that if you don't deal with unacceptable behavior from an autistic child in exactly the same way you'd deal with unacceptable behavior from a typical child that you are "giving a free pass" or allowing autism to be an excuse.
Neurodevelopmental differences can impair an autistic child's ability to control their behavior (or an autistic adult's ability to control their behavior, for that matter); Acknowledging that fact and taking it into consideration when deciding how to respond to violent behavior is not at all the same as saying it's okay for autistic people to hurt others.
If you know that an autistic 12 year old has the self-control of a 4 or 5 year old, it's unrealistic to hold them to the same expectations as you would a typically developing 12 year old. (I would argue that it's also unfair, because my idea of fairness prioritizes "equitable" treatment over "equal" treatment); They need to be given supports, expectations, and discipline that are developmentally-appropriate, not just whatever is appropriate for typically developing 12 year olds.
Or say that an autistic 12 year old has the same baseline ability to self-regulate and control their behavior as other 12 year olds, but their sensory sensitivities are extreme and they have significant language impairments. Without supports to manage their sensory sensitivities and facilitate successful communication, this 12 year old experiences a level of stress/distress that is so extreme it would make most typically developing 12 year olds lose control. Without adequate support to manage their impairments and prevent that loss of control, it's not realistic (or fair) to hold the autistic 12 year old to the same expectations as a typically developing age peer.
Again, I do agree that violence is never acceptable and that autistic children, like all children, must be taught self-control. I do agree that autistic children must be taught to take responsibility for their behavior. What I take issue with is the idea that autistic children should be and actually need to be treated exactly the same as non-autistic children if they are to learn these things.....sometimes this is true, sometimes it is not.
As for my opinion on the mother's comment.....
I'm not even sure that her comment was meant to refer only to the suspension..... For all I know, it wasn't meant to refer to the suspension at all.
A quoted statement can be moved out of its original context and put into a different context where the words still make sense but no longer mean what the speaker intended. I'm not saying this is done to intentionally misrepresent people, just that it happens...and could have happened with the mother's quoted comment in this article.
Her comment might not be about the suspension by itself, but also (or instead) about how the staff were attempting to manage the situation when her son ran to the office in a state of anxiety. Or maybe her comment refers to a pattern of lack of support from and failed behavior management strategies employed by the school over a longer period of time, on many occasions.....Maybe Ivan's mom has a valid point that is impossible to see without more information.
Aside from a description of the violent behavior towards the two staff members, there are literally no details about the interaction between this boy and the school staff leading up it -- Ivan's mother is quoted as saying, "There are obvious triggers for what happened" but there is no mention of what those triggers were. What was said to him? What was asked of him? What did he say and do, besides hitting people? Was he yelled at, was he touched, was there an attempt to physically move or restrain him? Knowing almost nothing about what actually happened makes it difficult for me to interpret and judge the comment..... especially when I don't even assume that "you can't discipline autism out of a child" was the answer to a question about whether or not the suspension itself was fair. (It might have been, but it also might have been taken totally out of context -- perhaps made into the centrepiece of the article simply because it's a controversial and provocative statement.)
It's also possible there is some kind of fundamental misunderstanding happening between the family and the school. We don't know this family's history with the school system....it may be that there is a school history overflowing with situations where people were punishing this boy for things he couldn't control and setting up unrealistic expectations for him while providing him with little/no support, and so now his mother just automatically assumes the same thing is happening again because of similarities between the present day and past situations.
I don't have an opinion about whether the suspension is appropriate or not because I don't know enough about the situation. But I don't see anything wrong with suspending a student to keep everyone safe until the school figures out a strategy to prevent/manage violent behavior.
