@Janet I have known I was on the spectrum since a time when many psychologists were still debating whether such a spectrum existed and I went through many of the same life experiences as you describe - still do. Until the web became widespread and people started talking about AS/ASD online, there was precious little information to be found, and even now attitudes towards and understanding of autistic people are quite primitive.
You've passed the first hurdle of awareness, the next step is adaptation with a foundation of greater knowledge, and information available to help you make sense of things that may have made you feel like an outsider before.
You also have communities like this one, full of people who have faced, and continue to face the same challenges and barriers as yourself. Here you are neither an outsider or a freak, you are one of us and quite "normal" in our eyes.