Your experience of Meltdowns

[alien girl]

i had them once in years ever since i was a child. i'd see a red fog and sometimes not remember what i did later. once i pinched a girl who bothered me very hard, another time, you asked if it happened someplace dangerous, yes. two guys touched my rear end, they were drunk, and i was holding a heavy suitcase in my hand, so i chased them and went for the temples. the guy went under. but i could've killed him, i almost did. they walked away because they realize i almost killed them and that i was capable of it.
it usually lasts minutes, thank god. my head gets real hot and i cant think reasonably. it scares me. and what usually sets it off is bullying and being touched when i dont want to be.
i managed to control them! i learned by punching punching bags, building my rage, and stopping when the instructor said stop! there are ways to control them. i know every person is different but it worked for me.
there are other ways to deal with rage. try this Galit Garcia Books: Aspie rage attacks

I have meltdowns but they do not last that long.

They are usually triggered by ruminating thoughts or sensory over-exposure.

It can feel like my skull/brain is collapsing in on itself and I have no control over my emotions (or anything else). Like Soup states, I tend to "implode", not explode.

It usually ends up with me sitting on the bed with my hands on my forehead, my head lowered. It takes all I can do to get out of this state but it eventually passes.

sounds more like a shutdown than a meltdown.

 

[Undiagnosed]

My son has been described as 'sleeping' in school, and being 'lethargic'. He is in middle school with lots going on. I think he has seven class changes during the day, so seven different teachers, all the students and so on. I would imagion this leads him to sensory overload. One day the principal called me. she had him in her office and tole me he was asleep. She sid his head is down , eyes closed and as I was on the phone with her she would try to talk to hem and would say he is compleatley unresponsive. She told me to come get him and take him home as there was no use for him being at school in this state. She and I were both sorta baffled as to what was going on ehit him. Mow after learning about Asperger's I am thinking this (and the other times he is 'sleeping' and or 'lethargic' in class) was a shutdown. Anyone think yes or no??

After reading some of your posts I can relate to a lot of it. I get into 'suhtdown' mode a lot. Always called it depression becouse I have ctonic depression. I also 'zone out' a lot even if not in depression. Zoneing out is sorta a usual state for me. I'm pretty sure I do it on a regular basis probably almost daily at some point. Many times when driveing a farmilliar rout I remember stattting the trip and am concious when I get close to my destination but have no concious memory of the trip. This is my normal.

I can also 'rage' on very rare occasions. The usual trigger would be to hear one of my kids cry and the rage is dirrected at whoever did something to cause him to cry. My kids are older now so this dosn't apply latley. My son once came in the door from the school bus absolutley crying his yes out, red face, tears. he was i think in first grade. This is a kid who is not particularly sinsitive and hardley ever cries so this was a sign to me that something drastic had happened. I asked him what was going on my already starting to 'rage' at seeing him in this state. He said something about some body spray that was in his backpack and Beth the bus driver. I didn't like the bus driver anyway. I was headed out the door seeing red. I failtley remember my kids saying "no...don't". I kept walking till I reached my Mom's house and asked her if Beths bus passed back by here again. Yes it would be back by any time. I stood in the road and put my arms out to stop the bus. She opened the door and let me on the bus and I went compleatlley off on her. Nothing physical just verbally. I have gotten physical a few times in the case of someone makeing my kids cry. And I an mot otherwise a physical or violent person. these instances remeind me of some of the posts I see here but still I am haveing a hard time really connecting these types of theings to being Aspie though. I don't understand what connects it to haveing
Asperger's.??

 

[debym6]

This would have to be response for my son he is 9

How often do you have meltdowns? Sometimes daily, but lately it's a about 4x a week

What do they feel like? My son says it just takes over he cant control the feeling of hopelessness and misunderstanding. He says it depends on what set him off. If it is a surprise shot at the dr then that is a panic run and hide. If it's a game he cant get then anger and frustration. If it's someone not listening to him (like what he means) then he feels hopeless, sad and cries.

How long do they last? Depends on the situation they can last anywhere for 10 mins to hours it all depends on what caused it.

Do you manage to control/direct them at all? He has gotten better, when he was younger I couldn't reach him when he was like this. He kinda went into another world by himself. Talking or holding would not work.

Ever happened at work? Or anywhere dangerous, etc? Not so much as of now, but it was harder when he was young and it happened a lot more as he would run about in circles and scream and cry. He almost got hit by a car at the park one time. Another time he had to be taken to the hospital as hide and seek was to much for him and he dove into the window ledge and hit his head very hard. He had many mishaps as a smaller child from these spells, he never intended to hurt himself but it would happen because he was (as I put it in another world)

 

[total-recoil]

Before I discovered I had aspergers I was being targeted by a gang. It just started one day when one of them insulted me as I walked past. These individuals used to hang around outside a shop so whenever I walked past there would be insults and laughter. One day I got angry and approached one of them and told them to pack it in. After that, the insults got worse and, at one time, I think maybe 15 people were involved. In fact, it started to turn into actual victimisation. At one point I had a word with a local policeman and told him I was getting a bit fed up with being jeered when I walked by with the dog and told him I was getting close to the point of losing my cool. The policeman told me to just avoid the particular area and ignore it. However, it then seemed to get worse so I actually went to a police station and asked them to deal with it. Well, the police didn't want to know and nothing was done. So, that was that! One day I was coming back from the gym and one of the same gang jeered at me as I walked past. Despite the fact I'd promised myself to stay cool, all of a sudden I completely lost it. I went up to the guy and told him to stop and then as I was walking off he joined the rest of his gang and they all collectively jeered. What happened after that was pretty staggering. I went along this alley where the gang was and once again warned them to stop yelling insults. One of the gang then made some kind of threat against me and then it all just popped. I took hold of the guy and the bike he was sat on, picked both him and the bike up and threw them to the ground. The rage was totally consuming. I then held the guy down and warned him again and the rest of his gang sort of stood there. One apparently took a pic on a mobile phone. So, that was one heck of a tantrum. A friend later called the police as she feared maybe the group would be going to the police so she phoned and explained there had been ongoing provocation. Then a couple of local girls got involved and took my side as well. Funnily enough, the girls were over the moon over what had happened as later it turned out this gang had been bothering a lot of people, as well as shops in the area.
It ended eventually by the police arresting most of the gang as later on one of them tried to rob a shop.
As for me, I now don't think I would have a meltdown like that again, now I know I have aspergers. I now realise meltdowns can be dangerous and have to be controlled. I would now just avoid the whole thing if I could but really the police should have done something before it came to such a dramatic ending.
I should add I think the fact I'd had a mass of adrenaline in my system at the time after having been in the gym was the catalyst. Adrenaline can increase aggression and there was loads of it in my system at the time.

 

[Laura]

How often do meltdowns happen?Maybe a few times a month, it really varies on how stressed things get, sometimes I can go a couple of months, sometimes they happen every other day.
What do they feel like? Like there's a huge balloon pushing its way up through my body and consuming my whole being, or something constricting my chest so tightly it actually hurts. Sometimes it's a feeling of anger, sometimes fear or sometimes another feeling I can't put my finger on. I start crying and rocking and hyperventilating, and if it's a bad one, I'll start punching myself in my head, chest, anywhere I can reach, at which point I need to be, to put it bluntly, sat on by my partner to calm me down. Once I had one so bad I tore most of my mum's house to pieces. I don't remember much of it but the doors were gone, the dining chairs were in bits and my bed was broken. I 'came to' underneath my nana unable to move. I was about 6 then.
How long do they last? Usually about 15-20 minutes, but I won't be right for hours afterwards.
Do you manage to control/direct them at all? No, I try to hold it in if I'm in a public place as I tend to go into a crouch or thrash about, but once it kicks in it can't be controlled at all.
Ever happened at work? Anywhere dangerous etc? I had one at the train station going to uni before, and while shopping with my mum many many times! Other than that, they tend to happen in stressful situations at home, say if I have an argument with someone in the household (usually my fianc?!)
What kind of things set them off? Generally crowded places with unfamiliar people, confrontations, sensory overload or being interrupted in conversation. Getting frustrated in games can also set me off after a while.

 

[Soup]

Sometimes I wish I could experience one of those knock-down drag-out throw-the fridge & the sofa though the window & into the street type melt-downs. My emotional register is not deep enough to engender or sustain intense emotions of any kind. While I do have feelings, they tend to be fleeting & by the time I realize I had one, it's gone.

 

[kchapman1988]

i hate having 'meltdowns', one thing i know causes it is having to clear the kitchen up (there are 5 adults and 2 children living here, atleast 2 of us are disabled maybe 3) i'm currently on drugs to stop my depression but it leaves me asleep alot and unable to think of a great deal so when i have to clear up i go in there and there are things left there for days and i get so angry because it SEEMS it gets left till i do something about it then i end up falling asleep only to wake up around dinnertime to it being completely trashed again asthou i hadn't touched it .....

the funny thing being the only meal i have been having recently that wasn't bought by me is dinner, yet i get 'we cook your food' i dont have the heating on, i'm barely getting washing done because the washing machine and basket are always full with nowhere to hand stuff up and all i normally use is electricity and internet (when it works ).

ANYWAY

meltdowns!
tend to happen a couple of times a month depending on whats going on,
i start getting very agitated and a lot of energy, if i have to be where i am at i feel like my body is stuck still while a more feral verson is thrashing in place.

 

[Meistersinger]

Since I've so many issues with antipsychotics, I can't tell if it's frustration, depression, being over-sensitive (I can never get through "You'll Never Walk Alone" from Rogers and Hammerstein's Carousel, or Act IV of Puccini's La boheme, or the final act of Verdi's Otello, without breaking down, or even the music underscoring the words un bacio, un bacio ancore, also from Otello.

 

[Soup]

@ Meistersinger, are you an opera singer? We've had many musically inclined people here but never an opera singer. I missed you entirely in the intro thread.

 

[gailt915]

How often do you have meltdowns? once a month or 2 months / Tho' I tend to shut down more than melt down

What do they feel like? angry and sad at the same time. Very, very frustrated.

How long do they last? meltdowns last about 5 min. Just bursts of angry, tearful, garbled ranting / shutdowns can last for several days to several weeks. I go into a severe depressive state.

Do you manage to control/direct them at all? sometimes I try to, sometimes I just let it happen, because it has built up too long and has to come out.

Ever happened at work? Or anywhere dangerous, etc? Shut downs have happened at work, many times. Meltdowns only a few times at work, many years ago. I have had mini-meltdowns in public. (These, I try to control as best I can) - I've had to leave work too many times due to shutdowns.....just can't take it one more second. Lost many jobs this way.

What kind of things set them off? For me, it's always sensory overload. Too much noise that can't be avoided. Too much visual disturbances. Too many people too close to me or touching me. Frustrations of past days/weeks building up, then some sensory trigger happens and I implode, sometimes, if at home, I explode. Sometimes I'll melt down or shut down due to having to do too many things at one time or too many expectations or demands put on me too close together.

 

[Meistersinger]

I was classically trained as an undergraduate. I am supposedly a lyric tenor. I've pretty much stay in the oratorio and sacred repertoire, as I only was on stage once, and that was in the chorus of Mozart's Cosi fan tutti when I was in college. The only singing I've been doing lately (other than around the townhouse), is in my church choir, where I'm the tenor section.