My deep depression is driving people away from me. I should start pretending everything is OK and start saving my sadness for my therapist sessions instead.
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I just want to quit my job and spend my remaining days playing games.
Hotel computers don't offer much in the way of entertainment but at least I can play Torn City. Made up to $25,000 on that game last night after selling a carton of phosphorus and a spy camera... yeah, that game is nuts. Not real money, of course. But you wouldn't believe the prices people demand for such mundane items on that game; last night somebody at the item market wanted $950 for TWO packs of music CDs!!
The less I engage with the internet as a whole, the more I'm wondering why in the world I ever spent so much time doing so in the first place. None of it is a good time, nor is it accomplishing anything at all. Going to just yank this cable out for awhile, see how that feels.
It's literally too cold to walk outside. I need to sleep with more blankets to be comfortable.
Well, the snow here at the good ol' Holiday Inn Express has gotten up to around 4 inches; nobody's on the road except for a few snow plows. It's so weird. I always knew Wintergeddon would return somehow... I guess the only thing we can do right now is just...
*sunglasses*
...Chill out.
*sunglasses*
...Chill out.
Oh, my! For once, I can truly empathize with those who have serious panic attacks. I'm experiencing the worst physical symptoms of anxiety that I can remember, and it's not close to what I've read about in other people's accounts.
I am no longer gay. I am now asexual. I need no partners. I need to survive.
Either I should kill myself, or I should force myself back into the closet.
Sending positive energy into the world 
I got hit with a blast of cold here so it's crappy... Haha.
The snow outside is getting thicker, heavier, white... As you step outside, it isn't just "freezing cold", no. Freezing cold is when you're wearing two coats and three pairs of socks waiting for the bus. This... This is arctic cold. This isn't just snow. This is my prediction of Wintergeddon's return... This is Wintergeddon The second.
I am going to slow down on my movie buying and save up for Uber rides to social events. Starting right now. All the movies in the world do nothing to ease my isolation.
I just severed ties with a couple of people who were more concerned about me being concerned than they were about the crap going on in the world these days. I am crazy because I am worried about my future livelihood? Forget those people.
Stop the world, I want to step off. The vacuum of space. The endless abyss of nothingness.
WOW! We just averted a crisis!! The manager of the hotel was about to call the police on us and almost gave us an hour to leave because my stepdad fell asleep in the car (he was extremely tired) - with his SHIRT OFF -- and the VP of the hotel company saw him while pulling in, thank God my mother got there because they wanted her ID and the card used to pay the room so they'd let us back in.
I am thinking about having my wedding band ring finger surgery removed one day. It's never going to ever serve a purpose because I am going to be a forever alone freak.
Just emailed my therapist, trying to see if I can get in this week.
Frankly, I don't have the strength to go to work every day, and then go home to spend every afternoon, evening and weekend in isolation. I can't keep this up any longer.