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Xinyta

Xinyta

Goofy little genderfluid person~ ♡ASD/Schizo♡ 35 From Illinois
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  • Xinyta
    20250327_110916.webp


    Another drawing of Azeth. I've been kinda feeling it lately. Though I noticed I made the head a bit bigger than the body with this one.

    Though there is a bit of obvious coy playfulness to this one.
    Xinyta
    20250325_130924.webp


    A new drawing of Azeth. A more... befitting version for how I feel about myself. Or at least how I'd like to perceive myself.
    Xinyta
    I feel I am in control. Not like controlling everything. But that I have a better grasp on myself. That period without anxeity got me ready for it, due to putting together the moving parts causing it.

    I'll still struggle. But I am now not afraid of my anxiety. I am no longer confused. Just facing myself. That's all.
    Xinyta
    I've been on this site for two years, as of tomorrow. Where has the time gone? And why does it feel like I have been here for less time?
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Sometimes when things are good it goes quickly. You seem pretty cool (though I don't know you well necessarily) and I hope you can stay around for a lot longer. How are you doing lately?
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    I am doing alright. Still trying to keep it together honestly. It's been uphill battle with my mental health. That much is certain.

    How are you?
    Xinyta
    Welp. I am now starting to see that I do have two personalities. Myself and a juvenile kid. Guess that does mean I am schizophrenic, and have a split personality. Fun...
    Gerontius
    Gerontius
    Don't a lot of us have that? Maybe it's just inner-child work instead of schizotypicality. Many autistics are traumatized by a lot of things and repress rather than mature their child-selves, and that's often going to come back & bite us in our older age. You might not be schizoid.
    Xinyta
    I have an overwhelming autistic urge to say "Om nom nom nom nom mushrooms" and I really, really, REALLY do not know why. It's been a recent little habit of mine.
    Trophonius
    Trophonius
    Does it always have to be only four noms?
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    Not nessissarily. The amount of noms I say are based on how goofy I wanna be. To that end. I have felt particularly happy today. So my goofiness is also up.
    Xinyta

    This is the day! The day I try! Because this is the day! The day I die!

    Come set me free, all pain is gone!

    All pain undone, all pain is gone!
    Xinyta
    Still wondering if this life I made, was truly worth it. Built on a foundation of avoidance and created false fears that became reality. Now the fiction has become truth. The sickness buries deep. Darkness drives all I am. Dead inside, like a corpse. Cold, like a doll's stare. Empty, like a room without furniture. I live in a cell in my mind. As cold as the dankest dungeon. As devoid as the most dilapidated spaces.
    Rocco
    Rocco
    “Dead inside” made me hear the chorus to this song “do the Vampire, by Superdrag
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    That song is kinda fitting, honestly.

    Also. I do have a thing for vampires. Something about them are just appealing to me. Maybe because of my love of the night and the different feeling of everything covered in shadows.
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