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Xinyta

Xinyta

♤Id driven soul | Broken but not Insane☆ 35 From Illinois
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  • Xinyta
    I feel I cannot ignore aspects of myself anymore. I cannot ignore myself. I cannot ignore the world in my head, which brings me happiness. Truthfully. I feel my anxieties overshadow my inner world, more often than not.
    Xinyta
    I've started using the Hallow app. It's a really great app for practicing prayer and focusing on God. It's helped me find a semblance of peace and silence, in the loud and distracting evil of my psychosis.
    Xinyta
    I find myself questioning who this productive me is and how I can be that more. Instead of the mess of the humanbeing I normally am.
    Xinyta
    The world is full of madness. It's not my job to match it, nor feed into it.
    Markness
    Markness
    Don’t feed the trolls. I wish I learned that lesson earlier in life but better late than never.
    Xinyta
    I am strange. I like strange. I like myself.

    I am not alone. I was never alone. Not when there are others that are like me. That have thier own fun things about them.

    Let us all be our best, strange, selves.
    Xinyta
    If you feel nothing is worth it. Feel alone. Feel that nothing good will happen.

    Pray. Reconcile these inner negativities.

    Hiding does nothing.
    Xinyta
    This past day has been a interesting day. To say the least. A busy one too.

    Each day I learn more about my mental problems. In hopes to overcome the delusions, once and for all.
    Xinyta

    Happy Halloween, Autism Forums~

    A little Symphony of the Night music to close out October, on the eve of Halloween.
    Xinyta
    Hope everyone is enjoying thier Halloween so far.
    View previous comments…
    M
    Misty Avich
    I'm at work but I don't celebrate Halloween anyway. It's just another day to me, oh unless I'm invited to a Halloween party lol
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    @Aspychata I wish my inner demons were like that. Then they can scare the heck out of the childern roaming the streets.

    @Misty Avich Fair enough. It is just another day. Though for some. It's more than 'just another day'.
    M
    Misty Avich
    Yes, I'm like that with Christmas, it's a very special day to me and I hate when people tell me that "Christmas is for children" and that I shouldn't care what I do on Christmas day because I'm an adult.
    Halloween isn't so big in the UK as Christmas is but I still respect that Halloween is a special time for some people
    Xinyta
    I find myself asking myself where my passion is. What is my heart's desire? I do not have a answer. Yet I somehow feel like I know. I just need to find it.
    Xinyta
    It's a slippery slope when in comes to things on the internet. There are little traps that affect the best of us. But it takes noticing those traps, and avoiding them in the future.
    Xinyta
    I have been spending time today to reflect on myself. I realize that even with my progress. I've not been fully honest with myself. But I have started questioning the core problems. And all I can hope is that I'll find the answers.
    Xinyta
    It feels like a battle of wits with me facing myself. The darkest parts of me still on a endless mission to drag me back into the mental abyss.

    I must deny the negativity.
    Xinyta
    20241021_154628.jpg


    A drawing I did today of Demile. Bit of a updated look with the hair. Went for BL3 Maya's hairstyle.
    Tired
    Tired
    Do they have a female body? And are they wearing a mask, or what is that line on their face?
    Xinyta
    Xinyta
    Demile is male. Though he prefers to come off more feminine than masculine.

    To answer the other two questions. They are not wearing a mask. It's a separation of fur colors. It would probably would come off as it should if I colored it in. I just have not been in the mood to color.
    Xinyta
    Feeling happiness lately. It's been damn hard to fight the urge to just behave like a child and spiral. But I feel the more I deny it, the more it becomes easy to stop it. A day at a time.
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