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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 29
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  • UberScout
    Well. We're not doing much today, it turns out. I guess my parents were burnt out because we haven't even moved from our spot in the parking lot. I did manage to ask Texas Roadhouse for some food; they couldn't give us much except some rolls and mashed potatoes & corn, but it was still a nice breakf-- er, lu-- dinner?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Somehow, I've got the smallest spark of an inkling that we're so, so close to having a place to live... I don't know why... I keep having dreams about it. Just last night I dreamt about a really nice apartment. And a blue cat...?
    UberScout
    My grandmother always said that whatever you're doing on New Year's Eve is what you'll be doing all the new year... So I'm going to obliterate negativity by smoking as much flower as I can, building on my skills with psi and.... Hoping that God has mercy on us this year and finally leads us to a house to live in.
    UberScout
    we know something
    you don't know
    and if we don't share
    then we don't grow
    unibomb will set the whole world on
    f i r e
    tree
    tree
    Is that a quote from something?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    It's DJ Format's "We Know Somethin' You Don't Know", a song that makes me want to go mental with breakdancing for some reason.
    UberScout
    I made it back to my parents! And my mother got paid!! It's a Christmas Miracle indeed!! I have officially been successful in transporting from Holiday Inn Express to the VERY nice and luxurious TownPlace Suites. Wowie Zowie, what a magnificent hotel.
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    I am glad that all of you have a place to spend Christmas out of the weather.
    UberScout
    Did a nice lil wake n bake with some green I had this morning. And there was this exchange:

    (My sister sprays perfume just as I get back in the car finishing my preroll, stomping it out)

    Mom: Oof, that is NOT a good combination.
    Sis: Tyler, I *just* sprayed this.
    Me: Dang I'm sorry ... I mean, I don't deal in fragrances, I deal in what common sense I have and what logic I have to go with it.
    UberScout
    So now I just found out my stepdad (Charles) didn't even actually get paid with the money he won earlier today, so now I'm just severely disappointed and heartbroken again. I knew I never should have gotten happy earlier when it happened, I never should have let my guard down. And I just won't ever again; this is hell to cope with and I'm honestly exhausted doing it.
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    I'm sorry to hear that. You still have the $120 though right? Will that cover a place to spend the night? Why aren't they paying him what he won? Are they supposed to pay him at a later date or something?
    UberScout
    Guys, I'm really sorry that I keep voicing my mental struggles on here. I know you guys are all endlessly supportive to me -- don't get me wrong, that's awesome sauce in its own right -- but I guess somehow I feel like if I take my begging thoughts and make them visible to the universe, maybe it will somehow actually manifest. Sorry if I made anyone think it's all a cry for help; not that anyone said that of course!
    View previous comments…
    Rocco
    Rocco
    I hope something good happens to you today and that good circumstances appear.
    Misty Avich
    Misty Avich
    I don't want you (or anyone) to feel guilty or reluctant to post your thoughts and feelings here. It can be a coping mechanism for some of us. It is for me anyway. And if people don't like your posts, we do have an ignore feature here which isn't hard to use. Obviously you're not on my ignore list.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @Rocco well I thought it did, but like every day, I was wrong about it.
    UberScout
    ...Okay... We actually got a big blessing today. I ended up making $120 asking at gas stations earlier today and Charles got like $230-$300 something after a Lucky slots feature. So, I suppose God really did hear me praying/begging for a miracle today... Now I just have to wait until my mother finds a decent price for a hotel room.
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    I also believe that God brought you to my mind early this morning during coffee. I was suddenly thinking of you and mentioned to my Mama that there was someone on the forum I'm on that had been homeless for some time. Later I saw your comments. We have been praying through the day . I believe He brought you to my mind because you were in need of prayer. Jesus does love you.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @FayetheAspie You... You really think God caused you to think of me...? And it... Inspired you to pray for me?

    ....I...I'm not used to this. At all. I don't understand. But that was nice of you.
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    I do believe that God was wanting you prayed for. What is the likelihood that I start thinking of your situation while drinking coffee on the same day that you needed prayer so desperately.
    UberScout
    True to the tradition of my family's life experience, I just found out today that my stepdad is not going to get his $800 back pay. All that time I spent praying to God for our lives to be fixed..... Turned out to be A WASTE OF TIME!!! Just more hurt. More disappointment. More pain. More everything. I....I'm sorry, guys. I just can't do it anymore. I am going to escape this eternal nightmare.
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    Please don't. You do matter. And like someone else pointed out earlier, your mother and sister need you.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    PM me if you need to rant, l know you have worked hard to keep it together.
    UberScout
    Dear God

    At this point, either show me proof that you are indeed real and you do care about me and my family and want us to have a place to live, or just end my suffering. I am exhausted in all of it at this point, so either please fix my life or just send me to the ER.

    Sincerely,
    UberScout
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Somehow we are still hanging on after our lucky break today. I may have lost hope, but God helped me find it again. If only for now, but still if only. Maybe giving it all another day or two won't hurt so bad.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Thank you @UberScout
    l don't know how we keep moving forward, but you and l are warriors. Stay strong my friend.
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    I am so glad to hear from you and that you are all ok. You really gave us a scare. I even had to explain why I was crying earlier today.
    UberScout
    I don't want any more misfortune in my life right now. I just want God to stop delaying and get us out of this situation already. That's truly all I'm asking for God to do, that's what I have been doing this whole time. None of us can take it anymore, all we do is argue and fight while we're doing this; I just want everything to go right again, I just want God to fix this for us.
    tree
    tree
    What changes would have to take place within each member of the family for
    things to go right again?
    UberScout
    Im so tired of being sick, I'm tired of having to beg people at gas pumps for money, I'm tired of being homeless, I'm tired of God ignoring how bad off my family is, I'm just tired of life. Either let me and my family have a better life or just kill me.
    UberScout
    IMG_20241127_182801.jpg

    SO, NOW AFTER HAVING A NIGHTMARE DAY FROM HELL WHERE MY STEPDAD GOT SCAMMED OUT OF $1,046 FROM HIS ACCOUNT, I START SCROLLING THROUGH YOUTUBE AND I SEE THIS ON MY FEED. DO NOT TRY TO TELL ME I AM OVERREACTING OR CRAZY, THE PROOF IS RIGHT HERE.
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    Those guys are comedians, they made those videos called Stories From Norway, they just make a lot of silly stuff. Sorry to hear about the scamming, there's so much of it these days.
    UberScout
    God, please. Kill me. Put me out of my misery so I can never have bad luck again. It's obvious to me that it's just never going to stop. I don't want to be let down anymore, I don't want to be disappointed, hurt, betrayed, I don't want to have money taken away, just please end my suffering Lord.
    UberScout
    Somebody please help me figure something out. Did God just decide that people like me and my family are just too weird and screwed up that we're not meant to have good happy lives?! I pray for good fortune and blessings to break this perpetual homelessness cycle but it just goes backwards on me instead!! It's really causing me to have maximum hatred for this life and this whole damn stupid universe!! GIVE ME A BREAK!
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    You know, just to be really honest, this is me trying to find answers...
    FayetheAspie
    FayetheAspie
    I wish I had answers for your need of a home but unfortunately I don't. I still haven't been able to find a job myself. I do know though that Jesus is the best friend I could ever have. When things are bad, God helps me through it even when He doesn't get me out of a situation as soon as I would like. I also know that He loves you too.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    @FayetheAspie Jesus took my prayers to have our financial trouble solved and for us to at LEAST have a hotel room tonight and turned it into Murphy's Law!! And it happens EVERY TIME I SAY A PRAYER!! You think I'm going to put my faith in a higher power that does things like that to me?! At this point, I wouldn't trust him to do my laundry, he'd probably make it explode!!
    UberScout
    Now I'm waking up with a head cold. Surely God is seeing how much MENTAL strain I have on me, why would He just pile more on top of it?!
    tree
    tree
    Maybe you were around somebody contagious.
    UberScout
    ...crap. I had another bipolar episode again. Things have been going crazy ever since Charles started readjusting. Obviously he's still having trouble.
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Do you take meds? Are you taking them regularly? Do you have an emergency anxiety med for panic attacks? Have you eaten something with a lot of protein today? Shower? Enough Sleep? It's going to be okay.
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Yeshuasdaughter
    Thank you for that seahorse drawing by the way.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Seahorse drawing?

    ....Oh, you mean Aloe?
    yellow_blue_betta_dragon_by_snowifer_dcz62i3-pre.jpg

    "I see the resemblance, but I'm a dragon, not a seahorse. They're pretty though, aren't they?"
    UberScout
    I am so tired of BEING PUSHED AROUND BY THIS WORLD!!! My dad wrecked my mom's car coming back from the store!! Thank God the rest of us were in the hotel room when it happened and thank GOD we overslept, but now we have to spend MORE money getting it fixed!! I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND WHY THERE IS ALWAYS BAD LUCK IN MY LIFE!!! I WANT IT TO STOP!!! I WANT TO HAVE FAITH IN LIFE AGAIN!!!
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I HAVE NO IDEA WHY MURPHY'S LAW DOMINATES MY LIFE, BUT IT IS CAUSING ME TO ABSOLUTELY LOATHE THIS PLANET THIS LIFE AND JUST EVERYTHING!! NOW I JUST CRAVE REVENGE FOR BEING A GOOD PERSON AND NOT BEING ABLE TO WIN AT LIFE!!!
    UberScout
    UberScout
    And now I'm reaching the point where now if somebody decides to screw with me or interfere with my life before something good happens, I'll just kick them in their stomach as hard as I can and SUPLEX THEIR STUPID selves!! I am DONE screwing around, and I am NOT going to let this world control my life anymore!!
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I DARE the next person to try messing with my life!!
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