Rather than a mermaid stuck on a bed, I am now a mermaid in a small swimming pool. That little bit of dignity means the world to me though.
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A friend who lives in the coast range drove over an hour to get here. She works at a nonprofit. There was a donated manual wheelchair. It doesn't have foot rests or brakes, and only one armrest. But I've been able to do things around the house like a normal girl today. I cannot use it to go anywhere. I'm still stuck in or around the house for at least a month. But I'm so happy. I made strawberry lassi to celebrate.
I am truly a mermaid out of water now.
I am having a true medical emergency. But 911 can't help. My wheelchair is broken, and I'm almost completely unable to walk now. Even getting a glass of water is extremely difficult. Numotion won't come out to even look at the chair until the 18th, to assess damage and order parts. I am stranded inside, cannot even check mail. Cannot have food delivered, as I can't get downstairs to let them in the bldg.
I'm just checking to see if you are alright.
I'm glad I know herbalism and first aid. Ran into a medical emergency in the middle of the night involving a burn. Just now settling back in. Gonna try to get a little more sleep. Everyone is safe.
This kind of thing makes love well up in my heart, and dreams fill my mind.
One of the prettiest songs I know. It is calming to weave to. As it plays, I can process big thoughts, and weave out the story of my life, and my thoughts and imaginations as if they were a story or a prayer.
Things I've been blessed to do lately: Spin wool, weave yarn into bands and tapestries, meet other weavers, string and play a harp, befriend crows and duckies, sew quilt squares, draw on canvas, can foods, ferment kombucha and buttermilk, dance, lose myself in the forest, make babies smile, bark with dogs at sunset, see freight trains, feel an earthquake, smell volcanic gas, dream, forgive, heal.
Up late. Had a terrible past 36 hours. PTSD times a thousand. I guess I'm spending time with my inner child.
Are you and your daughter alright? You are both in my prayers.
I want to be this when I grow up. I miss wild travel and exploration.
I'm just not having a good time. Dad's Yartzeit, anniversary of deadbeat ex, medical tests, yelled at by a tweaker, etc. It's really getting me down. And to top it off, Mt. St. Helens is doing something weird. Clusters of little earthquakes and a sulphur odor that could be smelled with windows closed all the way from Kelso to Eugene. I'm scared, tired, and I just want to find little reasons to celebrate.
Sometimes mermaids are landlocked. Sometimes they're scared of volcanoes. Sometimes being a mermaid keeps them from the ocean. Sometimes it keeps them in bed.
Trying to keep busy, so I don't have time to think.
There's only one way to fix days of sad rememberance before sleep time. And that's by baking a cheesecake.
Today is the anniversary of the day that my ex husband ghosted us the day I said I have cancer. It's awful, because we can check his facebook and he's doing stuff and living life. He still won't return her texts. What on earth did a little girl do? Nothing but give and accept love and happiness. She blames herself to this day, asking "what did I do wrong mom?" He's a piece of... -
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