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UberScout

UberScout

V.I.P Member
Please Don't Be Mad At Me 02/09/1996 29
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  • UberScout
    My magick is getting better and better every day. Don't know how I got this amazing gift but I'm not questioning it. I just need to remember to use it for good.
    UberScout
    AUUUUUAAAAH WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STATUS FEED
    tree
    tree
    I don't know.
    What did?
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Was getting a 503 bad gateway error yesterday, came back this morning to see the status feed had been reset. Honestly it really just caught me by surprise a little.
    UberScout
    I suppose it's only righteous and fair that I'm left here to just stew in perpetual anxiety. The kind of reputation I have isn't something God would allow into heaven. I'm much better off limping my way through life. I'd rather die under my weighted blanket than live to see my family turn on each other like a pack of savage starving wolves.
    UberScout
    Oh god. Sister's gotta go to the doctor today and for some reason i can't get an answer whether something's wrong or it's just a checkup. And of course there's terrible anxiety with it...
    View previous comments…
    UberScout
    UberScout
    There was no point. I wouldn't have gotten a straight answer, either that or just one that would have left me in anxiety.
    tree
    tree
    @UberScout
    Neither of those alternatives sound satisfactory.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Well, half the time if I try the calm approach I still get barked at sometimes punished. Like I said, how awful it is of me to have any bit of empathy for what my family goes through: I've told them I never asked to be like this and it's not like I could; I just woke up one day and realized what kind of person I am. Why I'm an empath in the first place.
    UberScout
    MADDOG SURPRISED ME WITH DELTA 8 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS DAY ACTUALLY TURNED OUT GOOD AND I CHECK 172 TIMES TO MAKE SURE I'M NOT DREAMING AND I AM NOT
    UberScout
    Update: Along came Gladdog with a basket of goods! Thanks to Maddog having a good day for once, i got some assistance with my intense anxiety! Hey, quick question, is anybody else seeing C++ code in every object they look at? I mean i'm okay i'm used to feeling this focused but i'm pretty sure i just mentally hacked our microwave to make food colder now.
    UberScout
    Feeling better..... I'm beginning to notice something about my PK. It seems to be strongest and seems to start working during moments of intense emotions or even intensive thoughts. Even if i'm not focusing or thinking about doing it it still happens... Yeah, there's no way i can doubt or second guess now, i'm pretty sure i was some kind of jedi or something in a past life.
    UberScout
    NOW I'M OVERWHELMED WITH STRESS BECAUSE WE HAVE TO HAVE A SOCIAL WORKER VISIT US TWICE A MONTH. NOW I HAVE TO HAVE THE RISK OF LOSING MY LITTLE SISTER AGAIN OVER MY HEAD, AND I ALREADY KNOW PRAYING TO GOD WON'T MAKE IT GO AWAY BECAUSE IT NEVER DOES!! I DO NOT WANT THIS ANYMORE! WHY CAN'T I JUST ABORT LIFE AND BE AT PEACE?!
    Forest Cat
    Forest Cat
    It's important to stay calm, freaking out makes it worse. You can't control life, no one can, only how you react to it. That's the important thing, not freaking out.
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    Yes. But it's because of Maddog. So you just have to grin and bear it.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    I shouldn't have to and hearing myself think that just makes me want to escape more.
    UberScout
    PK is getting stronger: paper plate was laying on my wicker drawer and as soon as i walked into the room it fell. At least i'm making progress somewhere!
    UberScout
    Aloe: Last seen circling SusanLR for protection from negative energy, making her rounds on her way back to me
    UberScout
    I remember having a splitting headache and just being so intensely frustrated with Maddog that i just screamed for like 10 secs. straight; when i did, i heard maybe 2-3 objects come off my wicker drawers and hit the floor. Of course they were angry that i was screaming but i know i'm getting stronger now!
    UberScout
    Oh yeah, in other news... My *gift* is getting much, much stronger. I know most of you are skeptical of things like psionic/PK or psychic powers but as i've always said i keep seeing results. This time it was during the last fight i has between me & Maddog (next status because character limit)
    Aspychata
    Aspychata
    I do feel more accepting of special senses. But many don't accept it or are frighten of it or think you are weird. And then some people are just very curious.
    UberScout
    UberScout
    Eh. It's to be expected. I've had doctors at the behavioral health hospital agree with me though. And i could tell they weren't being sarcastic or just pretending to agree too. Don't know how that happened but i'm not questioning it.
    UberScout
    Note to self: do NOT drink water immediately after smoking. You WILL feel like you have a stomach bug.
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