Dispute my earlier meltdown due to my mother insulting me in the phone when I called her earlier, my friends from church still treated me for lunch out to eat. I take them for granted, what my narcissistic parents put me through.
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Tony Ramirez
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Therapy or faith doesn't really help. I'm living proof of it.
Thursday night meetup tried actually went great. It was faith based, where I basically have the most comfortable connections.
Now I am on slightly higher meds again. The cycle is getting worse. Really all I want is one particular friend
that will be there, won't ostracize, stand me up all the time. But no one even here understands, I can never achieve.
I don't think I can trust anyone.
I don't think I should have taken 100 mg of Seroquel tonight.
I feel like I am going to throw up.
Finally watching "The Dark Knight" what a freaking great movie.
Faking it to join clubs to make friends is the worst advice my parents and people gave me. My mental health is at the verge of a seizure or heart attack soon.
People don't give two craps about me.
I'm a worthless piece of garbage to the public that if I pass out, people would just walk over me like dog crap.
The late David Bowie was right. "“If it flies, it’s death.”". Let my friends risk their lives every month in the sky with no escape except death. It's scary. Sorry my fear is back bad. Bus, train, car, or ship for me.
Finally have Karma to post in my favorite FA subs on Reddit.
I'm doing much better now. Only went out three times this week. Church where I had a great time after with the superbowl game together. Then Tuesday night with another group socializing. More days of rest then one day solo at the gym. Me being positive making my parents argue less.
I'm tired, better go to bed now.
It sucks having no female friends IRL that are not in relationships.
I got to stop saying "Hey" to new people. 99% of the time they ignore me when I do.
I don't want to leave my room or the house no more. The outside world is not nice and hates me.
My dreams are getting nastier meaning that they are getting what is coming to them to people who ostracized IRL and it's helping me sleep better.
Just found Lemur browser as a substitute to the discontinued Kiwi Browser that works with my extension on Android. -
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