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Advice on a break up.

mikemike said:
I'm glad I'm waiting too, overall. I don't want to be unhappy or just content with a partner. So, even though it's tempting to call that girl up and hang out with her, all I'm doing is leading her on and settling. And that's not fair to either of us.
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You're definitely on the right track!
 
mikemike said:
This is exactly what I've been doing. Trying to be more aware of my quirks and things to work on.

I just found out that she's moving in with this guy. The guy she's only met in person for 5 days. I have a sneaky feeling it's going to end in disaster.

So weird. So so weird
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A couple of significant red flags in potential partners,is someone who says "I love you" fairly early in the relationship, who is ready for intimacy very quickly, and is ready to set up housekeeping in too quickly. In the example I gave of my husband's first relationship, the woman that he turned down for marriage got married only a month after being rejected by my husband! And he later heard that it all ended in divorce fairly quickly.
 
The_Hopeless_Aspie_Guy said:
Most of us aspies only 'think' we either need or want relationships, not because we genuinely want or can succeed in them, but because the world is largely NT and NT society assumes relationships (romantic ones) to be mandatory in life. I'd argue that many aspies are incapable of needing or wanting love (it's how we were programmed) and thus trying to emulate NT's out of the habits they've influenced us to live by may not do us any favours in the end. We aspies excel at things we genuinely want, but we can always fail at things others tell us we should want. Perhaps you should consider that you've been chasing something you neither truely want or can ever thrive in. This is an extremely abridged version of a very detailed series of thoughts I began to relaise a week or so ago and of which may really shake things up for aspies (hopefully for the better).
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Well, as the saying goes; if you've met one Aspie, you've met one Aspie. The same shoe does not fit all Aspies.
 
garnetflower13 said:
A couple of significant red flags in potential partners,is someone who says "I love you" fairly early in the relationship, who is ready for intimacy very quickly, and is ready to set up housekeeping in too quickly. In the example I gave of my husband's first relationship, the woman that he turned down for marriage got married only a month after being rejected by my husband! And he later heard that it all ended in divorce fairly quickly.
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Oh yeah, this has danger written all over it. And shes not exactly easy to deal with at times. She tests your patience. I have a hunch that 5 days in person, and a few months online is not going to sustain her relationship well.
 
We actually spoke briefly a few days ago. It did not go well. She's got alot of built up anger towards me for no reason. Alot of people see it in her and don't understand it either.

I think she's got a personality disorder personally.
 
My view sociopathic users find us soft half people blind aspies fat juicy targets, it is better to pick your own girls even if it is scary....the odds of being a victim go way up if they pick you.

P.S. Sociopaths are really good at pretending to be abused sheep....watch for when they slip up they have long teeth when they don't get what they want.
 
Maelstrom said:
My view sociopathic users find us soft half people blind aspies fat juicy targets, it is better to pick your own girls even if it is scary....the odds of being a victim go way up if they pick you.

P.S. Sociopaths are really good at pretending to be abused sheep....watch for when they slip up they have long teeth when they don't get what they want.
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Well, I'm already on the lookout for what's next. I have to keep my head up and not allow my loneliness to overcome me and allow me to settle.
 
So, an update. Today I began watching the house as they moved her away. Her grandma stopped by and we chatted for an hour. She told me that she doesn't approve of my exes behavior and believes this guy manipulated her, she also believes this guy broke us up by driving a wedge between us. Furthermore, she went on to say that she doesn't believe it'll work and this will end badly. We talked about her previous relationship before me and how the guy pretty much brainwashed her, and this guy is kinda doing the same.

She also unblocked me on twitter too this week (not a huge deal, bUT something)
 
mikemike said:
So, an update. Today I began watching the house as they moved her away. Her grandma stopped by and we chatted for an hour. She told me that she doesn't approve of my exes behavior and believes this guy manipulated her, she also believes this guy broke us up by driving a wedge between us. Furthermore, she went on to say that she doesn't believe it'll work and this will end badly. We talked about her previous relationship before me and how the guy pretty much brainwashed her, and this guy is kinda doing the same.

She also unblocked me on twitter too this week (not a huge deal, bUT something)
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Let me explain it to you in plain English. Your ex girlfriend is a selfish self centred girl, that Has no loyalty to anyone except herself.
she doesn't deserve a guy like you.
 
mikemike said:
So, an update. Today I began watching the house as they moved her away. Her grandma stopped by and we chatted for an hour. She told me that she doesn't approve of my exes behavior and believes this guy manipulated her, she also believes this guy broke us up by driving a wedge between us. Furthermore, she went on to say that she doesn't believe it'll work and this will end badly. We talked about her previous relationship before me and how the guy pretty much brainwashed her, and this guy is kinda doing the same.

She also unblocked me on twitter too this week (not a huge deal, bUT something)
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When her own family is siding with you, you've got to realize this girl is bad news.

Ask yourself if you really want to be with someone so flighty for a lifetime. This is just the beginning. Your life will be an emotional roller-coaster if you choose someone like that.

Sometimes love is not enough ... stability has to be a factor.
 
Cali Cat said:
When her own family is siding with you, you've got to realize this girl is bad news.

Ask yourself if you really want to be with someone so flighty for a lifetime. This is just the beginning. Your life will be an emotional roller-coaster if you choose someone like that.

Sometimes love is not enough ... stability has to be a factor.
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I don't disagree at all. I'm with ya on this. It's just really sad it came to this. Her own grandma was saying that the things she would say about me, I didn't do anything wrong and she thought it was terrible
 
mikemike said:
I'm not disagreeing. But it doesn't mean I just get over it no issues.
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Exactly2 months ago my heart was torn to pieces. My ex cheated on me and told me in a message. I feel so much pain and heartache
I feel possessed literally with demons. She was my Angel and I took care of her in ways you can not understand. She was more
than a girlfriend, she was my only true friend. Now I feel lost, confused, homicidal, suicidal, I feel all of it. I feel rejected, and hurt. And I still
care, I still think of her. I know it is not easy, its destroying me. Satan is trying to win me over
 
robertsomerville said:
Exactly2 months ago my heart was torn to pieces. My ex cheated on me and told me in a message. I feel so much pain and heartache
I feel possessed literally with demons. She was my Angel and I took care of her in ways you can not understand. She was more
than a girlfriend, she was my only true friend. Now I feel lost, confused, homicidal, suicidal, I feel all of it. I feel rejected, and hurt. And I still
care, I still think of her. I know it is not easy, its destroying me. Satan is trying to win me over
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I've had all those feelings, which I believe is amplified by my fear of not finding anyone again. It was a long time between girlfriends, I can't wait that long again
 
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