Anger is one hell of a drug.

[Metalhead]

Being addicted to whining is no way for a man to be living.

I need to pick myself up, clean my side of the street and be content with that.

Anger leads to self-pity, self-pity leads to entitlement, entitlement leads to addictive unhealthy behaviors. I need to take my own inventory here.

So my anger is righteous and justified. But it is like guzzling poison while I want the world to die.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Being addicted to whining is no way for a man to be living.

I need to pick myself up, clean my side of the street and be content with that.

Anger leads to self-pity, self-pity leads to entitlement, entitlement leads to addictive unhealthy behaviors. I need to take my own inventory here.

So my anger is righteous and justified. But it is like guzzling poison while I want the world to die.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324312#emotional-signs
I've seen a few videos on this topic, as well. Males are often prone to bouts of anger, irritability, hair-trigger reactions, aggression, risk-taking behaviors, suicide, etc. when they are depressed. Females, as well, but men are more likely follow through with commitment and action. I tend to be this way, as well, at times. I can feel it coming on and I have to be careful around others. Unlike some others, I am an "outward" thinker, so I don't ruminate, or have feelings of jealousy, envy, or self-pity, but it's more like I am trying to hold back someone who just wants a good fist fight for no apparent reason. Trying to shove it down deep right now and keep my head on straight. Feeling particularly irritable and grumpy today.

 

[Outdated]

Being addicted to whining is no way for a man to be living.

There's a lot of people with that problem, it seems to be a real issue amongst younger generations. I always described it as being addicted to sympathy, that's how I rationalised why they do it. They have no intention whatsoever of trying to resolve their issues, that would mean people no longer feel sorry for them.

What they don't seem to wake up to is that after a while everyone gets fed up with hearing the constant whingeing and whining because it brings them down too. So the constant whinger also ends up having no friends.

 

[Judge]

My father's cardiologist used to describe anger as a very destructive biotoxin.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Interestingly, drops in serotonin and dopamine are associated with depression. Depression drops testosterone. Depression increases anxiety, irritability, and anger. Anger increases testosterone. It MAY suggest that the anger response in depressed males MIGHT be a biofeedback loop to increase testosterone. Anger and testosterone: evidence that situationally-induced anger relates to situationally-induced testosterone - PubMed.

 

[Metalhead]

There's a lot of people with that problem, it seems to be a real issue amongst younger generations. I always described it as being addicted to sympathy, that's how I rationalised why they do it. They have no intention whatsoever of trying to resolve their issues, that would mean people no longer feel sorry for them.

What they don't seem to wake up to is that after a while everyone gets fed up with hearing the constant whingeing and whining because it brings them down too. So the constant whinger also ends up having no friends.

Forget continuing to live in the past when I have a present to take care of and a future to prepare for.

 

[Outdated]

Forget continuing to live in the past when I have a present to take care of and a future to prepare for.

The past has absolutely no bearing on the future. Every day when you wake up you have the opportunity to start again. I said exactly the same to someone else recently - As long as you keep sitting there wallowing in crap your world will always stink. Put it behind you and move on.

 

[Shamar]

Being addicted to whining is no way for a man to be living.

I need to pick myself up, clean my side of the street and be content with that.

Anger leads to self-pity, self-pity leads to entitlement, entitlement leads to addictive unhealthy behaviors. I need to take my own inventory here.

So my anger is righteous and justified. But it is like guzzling poison while I want the world to die.

I have watched as you have identified many personal problems and inadequacies over the years here on the forum, and you have improved or beaten some of them. This is another one. Let us know just how many of these have gotten better or conquered. And keep up the good work. Unlike a few others here, you actually work on these problems and improve yourself, and I want to encourage that sort of thing. We should use you as an example and inspiration for others.

 

[stevens]

In 1976, Howard Beale made case for anger: https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=howard+beale+mad+as+hell

I've accomplished some very important things when I was angry, but it is important that the anger be deployed to proper and productive purposes. For improperly deployed anger, I like the word "bitterness" more. And bitterness is not nearly as good as some good, angry action but with focused purpose.

I do like your reference to the old adage about drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.

 

[Metalhead]

I have watched as you have identified many personal problems and inadequacies over the years here on the forum, and you have improved or beaten some of them. This is another one. Let us know just how many of these have gotten better or conquered. And keep up the good work. Unlike a few others here, you actually work on these problems and improve yourself, and I want to encourage that sort of thing. We should use you as an example and inspiration for others.

Honestly, I do not fight this alone. I figure if I am paying through my nose for therapy, I may as well take the therapy seriously.

 

[Boogs]

Improvements rarely happen without fundamental acceptance of issues - you seem more than willing to do this, good for you!

Although at the same time, self deprecation over these issues can be unhelpful. Fault and self blame etc are not healthy or helpful imho. Comparison with others rarely improves things. Much of our adult life issues stem from our very earliest years when imprinted by others without self knowledge or understanding or control.
Those with undiscovered or badly handled cognitive conditions can be impacted twice over (and multiplied not added).

But the way out of these things must vary a lot according to personal circumstance, so I could say 'this is the way forward, it worked great for me!' and give you naught but more grief with inappropriate advice, it's your therapists' job to be doing this for you, or better still leading you to find it yourself. They know you far better than we could, as I assume you don't reveal all the same things here as you would with them? (and if you did, we would likely misunderstand them without the context a therapist should know or be able to extract).

The deeper that issues are rooted, the more painful it can be to pull those roots up to examine them.
But the one's that come out slick and easy are rarely the one's that are truly tying us down, and may just be the green shoots sprouting off those deep roots, and pruning those easy to get to branches leaves the unresolved roots to sprout more growths. But sometimes those shoots need trimming back before the roots can be accessed.

Can I suggest you take up gardening? [sorry, that last line is just my taking the widdle out of my analogy! ]

 

[All-Rounder]

"Can I suggest you take up gardening? [sorry, that last line is just my taking the widdle out of my analogy! ]"
Ahem, the art of Horticulture.

 

[thejuice]

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/324312#emotional-signs
I've seen a few videos on this topic, as well. Males are often prone to bouts of anger, irritability, hair-trigger reactions, aggression, risk-taking behaviors, suicide, etc. when they are depressed. Females, as well, but men are more likely follow through with commitment and action.

I think this is why men get shunned and not helped. They get 'victim blamed' a lot. Well why are you such a 'toxic' male that didn't ask for help? Socially unacceptable outbursts are not a reaction people want to deal with and will condemn leading to further isolation, suicidal depression. Systematically helping/noticing/caring feeds into the 'culture wars'. Then bad man does bad thing, further enforcing the male stigma of modern times and cycle of unmet needs.

 

[thejuice]

My father's cardiologist used to describe anger as a very destructive biotoxin.

Chronically, yes. Otherwise it's a powerful motivation to change, create, assert boundaries.

 

[Boogs]

"Can I suggest you take up gardening? [sorry, that last line is just my taking the widdle out of my analogy! ]"
Ahem, the art of Horticulture.

It was just a 'plant'!
I didn't mean to rake up the dirt, or soil the thread.

 

[jsilver256]

I've seen a few videos on this topic, as well. Males are often prone to bouts of anger, irritability, hair-trigger reactions, aggression, risk-taking behaviors, suicide, etc. when they are depressed. Females, as well, but men are more likely follow through with commitment and action. I tend to be this way, as well, at times. I can feel it coming on and I have to be careful around others. Unlike some others, I am an "outward" thinker, so I don't ruminate, or have feelings of jealousy, envy, or self-pity, but it's more like I am trying to hold back someone who just wants a good fist fight for no apparent reason. Trying to shove it down deep right now and keep my head on straight. Feeling particularly irritable and grumpy today.

Sounds like a form of meltdown?

I have never felt anger as an emotion except during a meltdown. It is not directed at anything in particular, either.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

I think this is why men get shunned and not helped. They get 'victim blamed' a lot. Well why are you such a 'toxic' male that didn't ask for help? Socially unacceptable outbursts are not a reaction people want to deal with and will condemn leading to further isolation, suicidal depression. Helping them feeds into the 'culture wars'

Agree. It's been a pretty much consistent cultural norm across time and the world that men are considered "weak" if they express their emotions. In any position of power and authority, males are absolutely not allowed to demonstrate emotional vulnerability, as all respect is lost immediately. Even within the typical family dynamic, fathers and husbands will lose that respect. Men NEVER receive unconditional respect or love. It's always on the condition that they have high degrees of emotional self-control and self-discipline and are providers. It's likely why their female partners get so upset and reject their male partners when they do express their emotions. Given the consistency of this type of behavior across time and cultures, I am inclined to think this is almost an instinctual protective mechanism that heterosexual men have when interacting with women.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Sounds like a form of meltdown?

I have never felt anger as an emotion except during a meltdown. It is not directed at anything in particular, either.

Not a meltdown. Pretty much a hot pot of boiling lava that sits underneath a mask of calm and reserved behavior.

 

[Outdated]

Sounds like a form of meltdown?
I have never felt anger as an emotion except during a meltdown. It is not directed at anything in particular, either.

Testosterone increases both sex drive and aggression, it does the same in both men and women but men have much higher levels of testosterone. Go on you tube and have a look at some videos of kangaroos fighting, very often they have an erection at the same time.

 

[jsilver256]

Uh... it's been an educational morning